I switched over to ps4 for this generation and ended up leaving some longtime halo friends behind, but when Destiny 1 came around I found a pretty good group of people to run the raid, nightfalls, and just mess around in pvp. As that game went on, i got off put by the grind of it all and fell off as well as many of the core group were so obsessed with the loot that they would run all the content at reset which is 5am here on the east coast. And as an adult I often would not find the time to do those activities until a little bit later in the evening and raid on the weekends, often long after most members had completed the content using LFG. And while the clan keeps expanding, I do not see too many people active at any given point. I suppose the real problem comes down to my perceived toxicity of some of the core / admin members of the clan. Most notably some horribly misogynistic tones that really made my girlfriend feel unwelcome in the clan and some casual dropping of the n-bomb that made me feel complicit when minority members of the clan were around.

While I enjoy the loot chase as much as anyone, I always felt the thing that made Destiny so fantastic was the social experience. I am torn between using the clan messaging to ask for company on endgame activities out of anxiety of having one of the toxic players chime in with some sort of marginalizing comment if not joining in on the larger group activities. And the idea of trying to find a new clan gives me stress like trying to start dating after a long break. Not to mention making a clean break, which i probably should do, would mean losing out on luminous engrams.

Is anyone else having such a conflicting emotional experience with this game and its social functions? Any leads on a relaxed clan that is inclusive?

Why would you be forced to be in a clan with people you don't like? I'm sure Giantbomb will have some clans with less shitty people in them.

Social experiences are rarely fantastic, especially if you throw semi-anonymity in the mix. Games like Destiny that require them typically only illustrate this. That said, you are a little complicit if people are constantly saying horrible/toxic things in your group and you don't make it clear that you don't think that's okay. If anyone has a problem with you for pointing that out, then yes, it's time to find a new group. The duders here would likely be a significant upgrade there.

There's literally a Giant Bomb clan thread pinned at the top of this forum :D

I'd also recommend joining the Discord server, which is linked in that post. Folks there are pretty chill and it's a good resource for LFG purposes.

@foodmonster: That's sounds terribly and I would never tolerate that personally or within my Clan. Hopefully this isn't a GB Clan as I cannot control anything done outside of The Murder Birds themselves or Discord but it would really surprise me since none of that really happens on our Discord. If it your own Clan I'm sorry, but might I suggest you check out some of these and our GB Destiny Discord Server. Please let us know if this is happening within our Ranks if it is.

@hestilllives19: Nah, just a random group i met during the VoG days by standing in the tower. They were IRL friends with each other, which meant the bad behavior was always shrugged off as that is just how it is. Usually only had to deal with issues around the first 2 weeks of content releases. Even growing the clan still has never gotten a raid engram as it seems most just opt to lfg and keep the group there for trials. I guess in some ways it is like a use to be good relationship where you remember what it once was and coming back to destiny i had hoped it would be like VoG and Crota days. But this was a lot of help, i have been meaning to figure out what a discord was for a while.

I don't know how big or organized Destiny clans get but in my own tangential MMO raiding experience this is a common issue and the only real solution has come from the officers enforcing a standard for what is allowed in the guild/clan's chat channels. If done right this should eventually get slow members to realize that being part of a successful team means controlling your worst impulses even outside those channels, like in party chats. Just as you wouldn't tolerate some dummy yapping during tactics runthroughs, you don't want members harming the team by being shitheads in the clan channels.

If the leadership doesn't care to address that basic idea then of course you should ditch them because that is a shit philosophy that will take you nowhere.

@foodmonster: What is your location? If you're in the US, you should join one of Hesti's clans. If you're in Europe, you can join mine. We also have some people from the US, so you're welcome to join anyway.

We run the Raid several times each week. There are only chill people in the clan, so what you are describing is something that certainly doesn't happen in ours. I don't think you should stay with people just because you were with them for a while. Find better places for yourself.

Just say "I'm leaving because you say racist and sexist shit," and then leave. There have got to be a hundred-thousand other clans, and I'd wager at LEAST 7% of them don't do the same!!

Nice, I don't know if this inside joke was intentional, but I appreciate it all the same.

I’m in the Giant Bomb clan Cool Cool Baby and have met nothing but amazing people. I would look for a GB clan there should still be a few open.

I'm at the point where I'm waiting for the PC release of the game.

I didn't have one single positive experience in the online aspect of the game during the first whole month on console. I ended up returning the game and getting my money back.

I was shocked at how different the player base attitudes are between PC and console.

@foodmonster: Hey buddy, the situation you are describing is awful. Feel free to join up with a Giant Bomb clan; we don't tolerate misogyny, homophobia, or racism. Everyone I've ever played with has been kind, considerate, and fun. Great times and lots of laughs, without a lot of marginalizing people. Look up a clan with room and join in!

Even if you don't leave your clan, you can still use the Giant Bomb Discord to make new friends and have interesting Destiny conversations. Just drop a hello, and people will almost always go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I think it might be one of the most mature and positive video game communities I've ever had the pleasure of joining. I couldn't recommend it enough.

Best of luck, my friend.

Honestly, I would have joined a GB clan to begin with.

Well the easiest thing to (not) do would be to just remain complicit and continue to suffer in your current situation, but I think that's a terrible idea. Look at it this way, any action you take here will be stressful, you can't escape that, but doing the right thing will lead to a huge reduction of stress in the future. Doing nothing will only maintain and very likely increase your current stress level.

My advice would be to first politely voice your disapproval of the behavior in question to the clan as a whole. I'm sure you're not the only one who feels this way. If they completely reject your concerns and/or there really isn't anyone else in the clan that feels the same as you then just leave and find a better one. If you don't want to voice your concerns out of fear of bullying then just leave and maybe report the clan and/or users to Bungie. I'm sure they have some kind of "code of conduct" agreement.