#1 Edited by Max_Cherry (1133 posts) -

How are you going to cope while you're not working over the weekend? I find that the first weekend after the funeral of a friend or loved one is probably the hardest time because you have time to ruminate and you feel so alone. The grief washes over you like waves and the silence drives you mad. Having lost my best friend very suddenly about 6 months ago, I really feel for the bomb crew and, of course, the family. They have my deepest condolences.

#2 Posted by leebmx (2244 posts) -

Find some of your best friends - even if they have no idea who Ryan was and do your best to soak everything that makes friendship so beautiful and important. Be stupid, be inappropriate, be wise or be philosophical - just be with people and try to understand that no matter what bullshit we are bombarded with everyday by marketing, TV or whatever the best of life comes from those around us..

This probably sounds like cheesy bullshit, but I just came back from a family holiday with people I only see once every 3 or 4 years and coming back to hear about Ryans death made me realise how important all that time I spent with these people was. Even when they were annoying the shit out of me I was building memories and little reservoirs of emotion and wisdom that taught me about how to cope with my problems and help others.

I don't know you, man, and I am a little drunk, so excuse me if what I am writing is slightly sentimental and doesn't help but I think the worst thing you could do this weekend is to be on your own.

From my experience being on my own means I know exactly what will happen, be it good or bad. Find others and they will take you down new paths, or just inspire with ideas you may never have contemplated. Or you might just have some bad sex, a bar fight and spend the night in a police cell. Whatever happens, try and cede control of the weekend to the fates.

One of the greatest things I have found about being a unobservant Jew was being introduced to the concept of sitting Shiva after my Grandad died. I spent seven days at my Aunts house with relatievs and friends coming round, night after night, telling amazing and racy tales, boring me, singing songs, eating too much and while it was wonderful for a few days by the end I was desperate to get on with my normal life, which I kind of figured might be the point.

Anyway I'm rambling - my advice to you this weekend is find people, extract from them all you can, love, laughter, physical contact, anger, misery , joy and drink it all down. Then wake up on Monday give the world a swift kick in the balls and carry on fighting.

Time for me to get another drink and hit the hay - good luck this weekend mate.

#3 Posted by JasonR86 (9710 posts) -

For my job, work while I'm under emotional stress is really bad for me because it can effect my judgement and my capabilities. I'm dying for the weekend to start.

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#4 Posted by Branthog (5562 posts) -

How are you going to cope while you're not working over the weekend? I find that the first weekend after the funeral of a friend or loved one is probably the hardest time because you have time to ruminate and you feel so alone. The grief washes over you like waves and the silence drives you mad. Having lost my best friend very suddenly about 6 months ago, I really feel for the bomb crew and, of course, the family. They have my deepest condolences.

Well, I work 62 straight hours every other weekend (Friday evening until Monday morning), so if things go wrong and I have to do a lot of work, it'll pass by quickly. Otherwise, I'll probably find something to occupy my time.

Also, it has been almost five days. Not enough time to go from "crying jags and depression" losing someone personally and directly in your life, but more than reasonable for losing someone you didn't know and just cared about and liked a lot. (I say this as someone who took his passing very hard and has spent much of the week in tears and most of it following discussions and coverage of Ryan). I'll have my bummed-out moments, but as of Friday, I'm kind of feeling less dragged-down and unable to do other things than I did the first two or three days. I think the cathartic bombcast on Tuesday night contributed a lot to that - as well as all of the discussion on other podcasts about Ryan's passing.

#5 Edited by Roger778 (957 posts) -

Well, I went to go see a double-feature at the movie theater I work at this morning. I went to go see Now You See Me, and White House Down, and they were both very entertaining. I got back around 5p.m.

It helped me get my mind off Ryan, even though i do miss him.

#6 Edited by Slag (4418 posts) -

Same thing I do every weekend, 10+ hours of DOTA 2 with my buds and an extra long 14 hour day at work.

I hate to say it but I've been emotionally fine since Tuesday. That's not to say I won't miss him a lot, I already do. But I've already accepted it. I've seen a lot of death, so unfortunately I'm kind of used to it. I'm much more worried about the guys' well being than I am personally down in the dumps.

@branthog said:

Well, I work 62 straight hours every other weekend (Friday evening until Monday morning), so if things go wrong and I have to do a lot of work, it'll pass by quickly. Otherwise, I'll probably find something to occupy my time.

Damn dude. I'm assuming you are on call at your job? I'd think 62 hours of work consecutively would really hamper productivity if nothing else. I hope you don't have to stay awake the whole time.

#7 Edited by Clonedzero (4200 posts) -

the same thing we do every weekend pinky

#8 Edited by Bakumatsu (355 posts) -

I'm gonna play some videogames, maybe gonna catch a movie and do the thing I love most to do on weekends and just need to in light of all of this: to visit my parents and my younger brother and just be with them.

#9 Posted by D_Mac (124 posts) -

Going to see Pacific Rim in D-Box this weekend, seems like the only reasonable thing to do.

#10 Posted by Max_Cherry (1133 posts) -

@d_mac said:

Going to see Pacific Rim in D-Box this weekend, seems like the only reasonable thing to do.

That's what Ryan would have wanted.