For the first time in my life, I've been out into the position of living alone. Not just for a one day or one week, but for a majority of the summer. At the end of day two, I'm having a really hard time with it. It's not the repsonsibilites that are normally handled by others that are bothering me, but rather the fact that I'm simply by myself. There's no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, time goes much slower and theres hardly anything to look forward to for the next day
So why I am I living by myself? Well, thanks to the horrible economy the only job I could find for the summer is in a neighboring state of where I usually live, where my family and some relatives share a house near a beach. But they don't use it all the time, in fact pretty much only summer weekends, so for now it is simply inhabited by me and no one else. Not only that, but I don't really know anyone around here. It's one thing to be living alone, but to be removed from everyone and everything you know as well is what I'm finding so difficult.
I've honestly never had such a hard time adjusting to something like this before, and the idea of doing this for a whole summer is seriously terrifying. Since my job is only part time, I still have plenty of time on hand every day (some days I don't even have work) outside of work. Things I usually do for recreation, like playing video games or watching TV, just aren't enjoyable. When I woke up this afternoon (not a typo) I didn't even want to get out of bed. I've only worked two days and I already hate my job. I've always been a negative person but its never been this bad.
My question to you, fellow users, for those have experienced or are living alone: what do/did you do to deal with the isolation that comes with living alone?
Every time I've moved, one of the first things I do is introduce myself to my neighbors. You're a new face so it lets them know "Yeah, I'm going to be seen around here because I live here" and it's a great way to meet people. At the very least, it's something to do.
Never stay home for elongated periods of time. Depression sets in quickly when no one is around. If I were you, I would go to the beach or out to places where you are around other people everyday if possible.
Go out and meet people, you've got all you could want.
Some tips: Make a point of finding a friend within the people you work with. Go and join a gym or something social. I know it may sound stupid but call one of your parents/siblings daily, ask what they are doing etc. (beware this can have a negative effect also as you may become homesick) Engross yourself in your work. Keep busy, don't wallow in your condition. If you have a group of close nit gaming friends talk to them, it may seem odd, don't force it. But they can be a friendly voice down the microphone to help stem the tide of depression. Do some volunteer work in your free time. It will help you keep busy and get your face noticed in the community.
Hope this helps, but think on the bright side at least you don't have to worry about paying rent on your accommodation.
My god, I have fantasies about living alone for any amount of time. A whole summer would be awesome. No kids, no wife... heaven.
Anyway, to echo Xdsk, join a gym or go to the YMCA if there's one nearby. Exercise does wonders to quell depression, and you'll probably meet at least one nice person who could be a friend. Also, find something local that you enjoy that is a group activity and just drop in. If it was me, I'd be looking for a local, open poker game or drop-in hockey. You like to game, obviously, are there any arcades or beer-cades around (how old are you, can you go to a bar)? Do you play any CCGs or pen and paper RPGs? Find the nearest card/book shop and go to a Friday Night Magic event or something. Make a friend at work. Most companies have company events each month. Go to one and make a friend.
I know making friends is scary, but if you just be calm and be yourself, it's pretty easy to do. That is, unless you're a total dick. Then it's harder.
I felt pretty lonely for my first week alone but if you just keep trucking, it will soon become normal. You may even like living alone more than you did than with your family...
Go outside. I went through a similar thing, and frankly things are not going to get better if you stay cooped in. Trust me, I know this because it's exactly what I did. Go outside. Do something (anything - just take a walk if you have to). Just do something that involves getting you out of that house.
Also it wouldn't hurt if you told your coworkers you didn't know anyone around here and were bored. Maybe they'd hang out with you?
@Xdsk: That's the most thoughtful and respectable post I've read in ages.
@ricetopher: Depression sets in when you're alone, so - again - get the hell out of the house. Sleep there, game there, fuck there, but don't live there. Which beach is it? I know Myrtle Beach in South Carolina is oddly dead during the summer. Maybe yours is similar.
Alternatively, you could spend more time proofreading your posts.
As others said, you should go outside every day. Also, when you're at home, you should always try to keep yourself occupied - play some games online, it's a fairly social activity and I find it helps. If you have a hobby like playing an instrument or something else, you should do that when you're alone as well. In my opinion, the people who feel great when they're alone are the ones that can keep themselves occupied.
i've always considered myself a loner, but thinking back I've never actually been alone for any significant period of time. I think the main issue is that when I've been alone it's by choice, not like you who loneliness has been forced upon.
Do what's been said here, try to be social at your job. There's usually at least one person who you can connect with (don't be an ageist, even older co-workers can make good friends). Also, use what so many consider is making us less social: the internet and your cell phone. They're made for long distance communication so exploit that to the full.
I went from everyday contact in hs and college, always having fsniky and a roommate to moving to Seattle after college 400+ miles from everyone I knew for a job. I consider it the time I found out who I was, and not the person who had to be mindful around other people. My best suggestion is give yourself a goal. I told myself I'm going to do a Marathon in my first year of moving. So I ran in different places, learned a new city, met knew people and bad obligations to nothing but to the goals I gave myself. Also started a dnd group for a weekly+ social outlet. It is an incredibly freeing and scary experience not having anyone to act off of or motivate you besides you. But you should take joy in being able to develop as a person independly of any one else in your life.
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