You have every right to be angry but you pretty much brought it on yourself. I'm curious as to what led you to believe that allowing an ex-girlfriend to move in with you was a good idea. It's never a good idea but luckily you seem to have a cool girlfriend now. Get her ass out of your house pronto, before it fucks things up with your current girlfriend.
You should never have let her inside your place, in theory is your fault. If she has parents she should go with them, also in some way in disrespectful to your current girlfriend, even if she's okay with it.
Yeah, I would be pretty pissed myself. Her decisions got her in this situation. Let her deal with them herself and definitely move the deadline up. You did what you could man.
@AgnosticJesus: @clumsyninja1: her dad is in jail and her mom is on welfare living in government housing. she has no siblings. she mailed me a long letter when she got kicked out the army saying she just needed somewhere to stay and she had nowhere else to go. so i caved
Oh yeah, you have the right to be mad at her for multiple reasons and have been more than polite enough. Plus, and I don't want to judge without having met her, it kind of sounds like she isn't all that stable. Who just leaves a long tern relationship with no explanation?
so i think your problem is going to solve itself. You need to hold firm on that deadline making it clear that your current girlfriend will HAVE to move in. Once she is out, then im sure there will be less and less interaction that happen naturally since you dont live together anymore.
Btw, i have little experience in matters of the complicated heart (but im not a kid, just have little experience).
You've done way more than you really should have already, move the deadline up to a week.
This exactly, you are not her father. You do not need or have or want to be her friend. There is no reason you should be taking care of her. Tell her to move out and move on.
Bad news brother, she's looking to metaphorically fuck you by actually fucking you.
This is a manipulation because she dumped you and you recovered and bounced back stronger. She is going to try to seduce you, and you sound conflicted enough about it that, were I you, I would have serious concerns about my own behaviour.
Watch as she tries to have a few drinks with you to make up for how she has been or some such, and works it from there.
You are doing something nice, but in the process you are doing something horrible to the girl you are currently with, and it is absolutely horrible, especially when you freely admit you still have feelings
You should ask your ex straight out if she is looking to get back with you, and then you should ask her to leave by the end of the week regardless of her response.
Duder, seriously, I like you and I think you're a nice guy, but you need to sort your priorities before your current girl has enough (and she will, regardless of what she is saying; she'll be supportive right up until the day she walks out on you).
It sound like you are a beta male that gets pushed around by women. You should have never let her move back in in the first place. Kick her the fuck out before shit gets nasty and it starts affecting your relationship with your new girlfriend.
I'm gonna bet she wasn't even in the army, but that's just my guess.
@tunaburn said:
Today when i said she had one more month to be out she started crying and ran into the room and locked herself in blasting music.
Also is your girlfriend 15? What kind of adult does that? My advice to you is get her out of your house as soon as possible. Do what you want wit it....
You didn't owe her anything. As the owner of your residence you get to call the shots. If I were you I would be aiming to get her out of there as soon as possible. She is taking advantage of your kindness. Having your ex around will only prove toxic for your current relationship. Oh, and please don't fall for your ex's crocodile tears, it's way too common of a manipulative trick.
I feel like most people wouldnt of even let her stay with them at all. Im trying to be nice and help her out but shes freaking out on me because im not her friend now.
I wouldn't have, but it's nice that you did. Since she's reacting like a teenager and just screwing with you, you just need to get her out of there.
Especially since you're into your current girl. It's messing with her, too. This will just end badly.
I think you have the same problem I do, you're too nice a person. I probably would have caved in and helped her too since she doesn't have a family to fall on, but at this point you really have done more than enough, she's the one that fucked up when she left you for no reason.
The reason she's being a bitch is that she doesn't know what to do, she knows she screwed up and came to you thinking you could start over and have it be like the old times, but she can't, so she's frustrated and lost, and while that might make you want to help her more, don't. You've already done enough, your new girl's patience might be that of gods, but even she's going to get fed up with it sooner or later. Don't let this fuck up your relationship with your new girl, let go of the past, move on with your life.
Bad news brother, she's looking to metaphorically fuck you by actually fucking you. This is a manipulation because she dumped you and you recovered and bounced back stronger. She is going to try to seduce you, and you sound conflicted enough about it that, were I you, I would have serious concerns about my own behaviour. Watch as she tries to have a few drinks with you to make up for how she has been or some such, and works it from there. You are doing something nice, but in the process you are doing something horrible to the girl you are currently with, and it is absolutely horrible, especially when you freely admit you still have feelings You should ask your ex straight out if she is looking to get back with you, and then you should ask her to leave by the end of the week regardless of her response. Duder, seriously, I like you and I think you're a nice guy, but you need to sort your priorities before your current girl has enough (and she will, regardless of what she is saying; she'll be supportive right up until the day she walks out on you).
Everything you say is the truth brother. And to the OP, she's trying to manipulate you. Judging from the limited information I can gather, she's trying to get with you because you are a nice guy and she has nowhere else to go. The only reason she wants you is because she fucked up, saw that you recovered stronger than ever, and wants to take that away from you by fucking living with you and your new gf. She is there because she knew you would let her stay and she will use that opportunity to fuck things up for you.
I know this was probably poorly written but I'm kind of in a hurry.
@Tim_the_Corsair: @SathingtonWaltz: i appreciate what you guys said. i truly feel even more so now that im in the right here. im not falling for her bullshit. ive given her 3 weeks to be out. told her she needed to be signing a lease before that. told my new girlfriend to get her shit started being packed. i gotta do whats right for me now.
@tunaburn: Was gonna give you a similar spiel that others did, but it seems like you've already taken their advice to heart. The stipulation that she has a signed lease before the three weeks is an excellent one, it'll protect you from the 'but where will I sleep' argument.
When all this is done you need to reward the shit out of your current gf though, she must be one solid and trusting girl if she's willing to let an ex live with you for two months.
it's nice that you let her stay with you and get her a job but you shouldn't be angry.
as much as it is annoying that she cries when she has to leave but doesn't want a romance. it's justified. she's been with you for 6 years and must know you really well by now to be more comfortable with you than with her family
now it has been two months so i understand your frustration, but this girl has no partner or boyfriend and got kicked out of the army (i'd like to know how one goes about that). so overall your actions are admirable and you have probably avoided anger more than other guys out there. but it comes to a point where she has to come back to reality and live her own life.
i'm kind of rambling but yeah your justified in your anger, it's about time now
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