Difficulties of improving one's fashion

I've had the attitude for many years that since my body wasn't where I wanted it to be (since I was over weight) that I didn't even want to bother with improving my fashion. But recently I've gotten healthier and lost some weight. And even though I still need to knock off about twenty to thirty pounds to be as lean as I really want to be, I feel that I really want to improve the clothes I wear. At best right now, I will wear jeans and a button up shirt.

But I'm looking to improve this. I have some ideas of what I want to do, but here's my problem. My friends dress like complete slackers. Cargo pants and t-shirts are the best they will do. One girl who I have become pretty good friends with will, without fail, wear the same Star Wars shirt every time we go drinking.

I want to improve myself and my standards. I believe this will improve my well-being and confidence even more. But how does one deal with a drastic change in how one presents himself? Not only is there the change, but there is the fact that I would be overdressing my friends. I have already experienced this in a small way just by wearing clean and pressed pants and a shirt with a collar, while others are wearing khakis with holes in them.

Just something I've been thinking about and wanted to throw out there. I don't know. I'm drinking again.

First of all, I aint no fashion king. I really enjoy looking at clothes, buying clothes and talking about clothes, but I'm no expert.

Well done with losing the weight man. That's usually the biggest thing people have with 'dressing well' is that "Errr clothes don't look good on me" clothes can look good on anyone. It all depends on the fit and with a slimmer body, more things will fit. I'm a skinny bitch, but it's easy to find stuff that fits. If you're built well, most things will look good.

Clothes are essentially an extension of you and your personality. It's a great way to subtly project to the world how you're feeling and is also a great way to see how you've grown and changed as a person. If I look back now, I can see myself wearing goold ol' jeans and runners back in primary school with a dragon t-shirt or whatever. Highschool saw me get into skinny jeans and band t-shirts and jizzing into my straightener before headbanging my shoulder length hair at shows. Now, I'm into a much cleaner, mature and sometimes adventerous look.

Why is this important? Because if you're rocking the same hairstyle, same clothes and same mindset from when you were in highschool or whatever that's not really saying you're a really fucking interesting person. If you're thinking "oh but i was awesome in highschool" yeah, maybe you were, but it's sad to think you've peaked in a time where everything is essentially given to you and you had no responsibility. (I know, not always the case)

The way your friends dress is totally up to them and the same for you. If your friend can go drinking and wear the same starwars shirt every time then jesus christ ( I think that's pretty fucked) but whatever, I'm not wearing it. Don't stress about out dressing your friends. If they're your friends they wont ditch you over taking some pride in your appearance. Hell, my group of friends consists of someone with really cool super high-fashion style, standard business attire, a body builder with low cut tops and a few who mix them all together. We all like what eachother wear and talk about it. It's the exact same as having different tastes in games.

I see that you said you're worried about a big drastic difference. Try not worry about this because it takes years and years to develop a sense of style and a decent wardrobe. Don't plan to do a day of shopping and all of a sudden BAM JESUS CHRIST I HAVE CLOTHES because it's all about progression and seeing what works for you. Maybe start out with a few plain v and crew neck tshirts and a pair of chinos. If you don't really like that, no big deal, they're versatile pieces and can look good with anything. Just keep mixing it up until you find your spot. Hell, if you see someone dressed well just ask them "fuck me that's a great shirt, where buy?" most of the time they'll be happy to talk about it.

Clothes are really cool. Too many people are still in the "er clothes gay lol @ my graphic t". Some people think 'clothes are clothes' and that's fine. I just think it's a great way to express yourself and gain a lot of confidence really fast.

tldr: fuck yes kpop

@mcghee:

I do three things to help my fashion sense; copy what I see dudes wearing on TV that are around my age, ask a friend or family member who has fashion sense to help me get clothes, or go to a nicer store and ask the employees there what I should wear.

Yes but the hard thing is the change in fashion itself, because if it is too drastic, people can see it like you are just acting, just putting on airs, you know what I mean? Like that's not really me, it's just me trying to become something I'm not.

Eh. They're just clothes dude. Be yourself and your clothes will fit you.

Yes, you are right, of course.

I think I might have stolen that from Confucius.

Another wise man once said "never reveal your sources."

@mcghee: Just buy nice clothes and start wearing them, if your friends question why just say this is how you want to dress from now on. After a few days of seeing you dressing nicely they will get used to it and hopefully they will dress better.

Once I left college I started dressing very well, pretty much chinos, button ups and a blazer everyday. My friends started asking me for fashion advice the first day I changed my style.

@mcghee: I'm not sure if I'm the best source being female and all but I have helped male friends and family with fashion stuff. This is kind of an answer for everyone but you should expose yourself slowly to new clothing if that makes sense? Completely changing your wardrobe can be sort of a shock and you might see yourself in a mirror and feel really strange with the way you look. I've worn outfits that look fucking great on me but they were so different from what I usually wore that I felt really weird every time I saw myself. I'd say experiment with new things but don't go all-out immediately. Aside from that, I can't really help you with what to wear if I'm not actually at the clothing store with you.

Thanks. I often ask my sister what she thinks of things if she's available. Doing it slowly does make sense, especially when you consider the cost of buying new clothes anyway.

I say go for it. Just start dressing better and see what happens. If you like the way you look, then your friends will come around to it after possibly being shocked at first. Whether they start dressing better themselves is not really that important to you, is it? If they don't, you'll look good by comparison when you go out. If they do, you'll be a pack of well-dressed people when you go out. Win-win.

I want to get new outfits and stuff myself, but I am also on the "I want to get down to the weight I want to keep for most of my life" train. If I were to buy things for me now, I'll end up with ill-fitting clothes later on.

@cramsy: Thanks for the advice and fuck yes kpop.

@cramsy: Thanks for the advice and fuck yes kpop.

Heck yes, now I have another excuse to post this here!

Funnily enough I was wearing some SHINee-style top the other day and a korean girl totally started up conversation with me over it. If that's not inspiration I don't know what is.

Koreans have awesome fashion. It's some of my inspiration.

Cosplay as Squall from Final Fantasy 8 every day (the clothes, not the attitude). Blow everyone away with your bold, manly fashion.

I probably shouldn't tell you to start reading men's fashion magazines, but start reading men's fashion magazines. Look at the attractive men with business undercuts and see what of their attire you can pull off.

Also pay diligent attention to how clothes fit on you. It took me dollars and years to nail down my perfect pants size and learn that very few button downs properly fit me.

This is a big thing. People just assume because something is expensive it looks good. Fit is probably the biggest factor in making sure something looks good.

in my experiences, when you start dressing a bit better around friends, some of them actually start changing their styles too for one reason or another. the ones that just give you a hard time for no good reason arent friends. they should be supportive. i would try phasing into it. fuse some familiar things with new stuff until the old is eventually phased out. good luck!

BAM

Sir, prepare to be swimming in pussy.

Just own your fashion, dude. I've under- and over-dressed on many occasions and realized that most people don't notice or let it bother them if you look comfortable. That's a good trick in many social situations, really -- pretending like you're supposed to be doing whatever you're doing. It's nice too that the clothing industry is making advances in comfortable and good-fitting fashion.

You're better off asking here.

Who cares? They're just clothes. All that really matter is that they fit.

@mcghee:

Dude, wear whatever makes you happy. The only people who will see your clothes as being a reflection of your personality are douchebags who wear certain types of clothes because they have no fucking personality. Don't look at fashion magazines, jesus christ! Find a girl you're friends with, get a couple hundred bucks together and go shopping with her, maybe have a few drinks :) Buy clothes that you think look good on you and have her for a veto decision in case you try to buy something fucking shocking. Wear things that you like, not things that some asshole wants to sell you. Your friends will almost definitely make fun of if you change the way you look but that's what your friends are supposed to do :) They'll still be your friends. The only time that it matters what you wear is when you go for a job interview/funeral/wedding (then it really matters). If at any other time in your life you meet some one who makes a judgement on you based on your clothes then fuck them for being a shallow cunt.

Get a totally fresh style to mix it up.

I see clothes as a reflection of personality. I wear all kinds of clothes. LOL I love you you tell him what to do as well. Fashion magazines are great to check out time to time, usually pretty high end expensive stuff though. Just good for inspiration.

Oh yeah based on the OP the girl with the starwars top is perfect for this kind of thing. He's not talking about going shopping with his mum after christmas for some new over sized clothes for the next 8 years. Why would his friends make fun of him? because he's interested in a new thing? Fuck that, what shit friends.

"The only time that it matters what you wear is when you go for a job interview/funeral/wedding (then it really matters)"

I disagree. It can matter what you're wearing all the time if you actually care about clothes. If you don't that's fine but to some people it's a hobby and super interesting. You shouldn't make judgements on peoples clothes, yes. But it's a good talking point to ask about what someone is wearing, where they got it from. Some people find that shit interesting. Me included.

I'd recommend taking it slowly if you're concerned about a drastic change in your look. I've been working on improving my manner of dress as well, and I have been going one step at a time. I'd recommend starting with whatever you think is particularly egregious and can be easily changed. For me that was pants. Simply switching from baggy jeans to chinos that actually fit made me look a lot nicer without making me look like an alien in the mirror. Since then I've continued like that, taking up a new change when I got used to what I had last done. I'm still working on a few things, but I'm pleased thus far.

As far as your concern for outdressing your friends, you can probably avoid standing out easily enough. I think there's a substantial difference between nice clothes and formal clothes. Formal stuff will stand out, but you can step beyond jeans and tees without making yourself look out of place. Although you did mention that you've already had that issue in a small way, so perhaps it will come up again. Still, I imagine people will grow used to it and cease to register any peculiarity. Best of luck.

Fashon is just planned obsolescence for clothes.

But I guess that's not helping..

I'm wearing my Lincoln Force tee right now (which you'd know already if you followed me on Twitter, so, why aren't you following me on Twitter? I set all kinds of trends on there all the time. Like this one trend I set for tweeting what I'm doing at any particular moment).

So, basically, I know what I'm talking about.

(Just buy stuff that you like looking at, wearing and like other people to look at.)

Just don't over think it. Cargo shorts and button up shirts are about as nice as you need to get or else you'll look like an asshole in most places. The key is just finding stuff that fits you half decently.

@mcghee: Cramsy up top knocked it out of the part from the get go but to add on here. You should wear whatever you feel comfortable with, I see no harm in taking some pride in dressing up when heading out. Yeah sure your friends dress as slackers but they're happy with that and you should be happy with your own style cause not only do you feel happy about it, you're the best looking guy in your group, just sayin. Nowadays I find it's less of "I'm overdressed for this place" and more of " I dress well because I respect myself, I want to look presentable and leave a good impression plus it makes me feel good". And who knows? Maybe your friends will start trying to follow your lead and dress better as well or ask you for tips, you never know!

From where I'm from the Korean fashion boom came about a couple years back and I find it overplayed and not as popular any more. It's a good way to start though! Here's a gif just cause:

Probably depends what age you are, honestly I think I was about 21 before I considered what I wore, I have to confess now I'm relatively style conscious guy in early my 30s who does consider what I'm putting on, whether it be social or work. Imagine how foolish I was to think it was too late change the way I looked at 21! Point being if you see something like, wear it, your sense of style will evolve over time. Ultimately being a good person, and yourself is whats important, but there is nothing wrong with reflecting how you feel in the way you dress.

My fashion improved when I started going to nicer stores and letting the gay sales people dress me. Obviously it's cheaper if you have our own taste and a lot of time, but that worked for me.

Jorts.

Start reading some style blogs. I like Dappered and The Style Blogger myself. Sites like GQ and Esquire can also be a good reference, though they feature clothing that's way way too expensive for most to afford. If you're into Reddit, r/mensfashion can be good, though a little hyperbolic like most of Reddit. You'll start to get a sense of what kinds of clothes look sharp and stylish from these sites. Of course everyone is different, so you'll have to go to stores and try things on for yourself and see what looks good on you. Most importantly FIT IS EVERYTHING. I can't emphasize this point enough. If it doesn't fit right, don't buy it. Style blogs and sites like GQ can help you see how clothes should fit. Basically, slim but not tight is the mantra I go by.

I was in pretty much the same situation you were about a year ago and three things I wish people had told me are: you're going to make mistakes. You're going to buy stuff that doesn't fit right or just plain doesn't look good because you don't have the experience buying this type of clothing. That's okay. It's a process. You're going to have to step outside your comfort zone every once in awhile. This is good, and helps to build self-confidence, but starting to wear nicer clothes when everybody around you is dressed less well takes some courage. Finally, shoes are extremely important. Nice shoes can dress up or down an outfit and add a lot of versatility to your wardrobe. Buy a few basic pairs of nice shoes (black lace up, brown lace up, nice sneaks, loafers, boots) that will last you.

Good luck, man. You already made it through the hardest part changing your weight (trust me, I know). Changing your wardrobe is a lot of fun and people will respond to you more positively.

I've recently altered my fashion decisions a bit recently. But, I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm thin trying to get bigger. I came to the realization that its not so much about what I wear but how it fits me. I've lowered my shirt size from L to M to S and even tho I'm 6'1, the length of the shirts wasn't the issue, it was the fact that they were draped on me oddly and not really conforming to what little figure I have.

So that prompted the change and I feel better about clothes shopping now. I say if it makes you feel better go for it. It may take time and money but hopefully it will be worth it in the end as long as you do it for you and not just for attention.

Just wear what you like, what makes you feel good. The idea of wearing stuff because other people think it's cool is the stupidest thing; you don't listen to music cause other people like it, you dont play games cause other people like them, so why dress in clothes other people like?

Also if your friends would judge you for dressing differently you need better friends.

Personally, I'd go...

1. New haircut
2. New shoes
3. New pants
4. New shirt/sweater/pull-over/jacket
5. New headwear like glasses and hats

Though really it's having a fresh haircut/trimmed facial hair, snazzy new looking shoes, and nice accessories that make a look more fashionable and generally more upscale. A nice wristwatch (or pocketwatch, if you can pull it off) will dramatically increase your profile. An upscale gold wristwatch will pop on any outfit really.

I guess I'd go grey suit (sports jacket), white plaid shirt, light-dark brown leather shoes & belt, snazzy haircut, cool Ray Ban Wayfarer glasses, gold watch. Of course I'd have to let my hair grow out, get a job, and start caring before that. To each his own I guess.

Getting a haircut every 2 weeks is key. Guess if you really care about your looks, getting facials and regular manicures/pedicures are a must too.

Man when I lost over 106 pounds my clothing style changed aswell. I look more like a thug or playa apparently, since that what people like to say everytime they see me.

First, know your measurements. Research tailors/alteration places that have good reviews in your area and get to know them. Most places you can go in and just ask for your body measurements like inseam, waist, sleeve, shoulder, etc. Just getting your measurements should be cheap (free sometimes if you go to a mom and pop type place). Knowing these are vital for online shopping, which is where you can get the best quality for good prices many times. Knowing your measurements also allows you to buy clothes that truly fit, which is the most important thing. Fancy clothes still look bad if they're too tight or baggy.

As for what clothes to buy, the best place to start would be with the basics. It sounds obvious, but there are certain staples that are timeless and go with a lot of things and different styles:

1. Dark indigo jeans

2. Khaki and Navy colored chinos (no pleats)

3. Khaki and Navy colored shorts (no cargo)

3. Solid color tshirts and polos (no brands/graphics, you want versatile to build a foundation)

4. White canvas sneakers and brown or black boots of some kind

From there you can use your existing clothes and just build your own style one piece of clothing at a time. A lot of what you wear depends on the climate of where you live. As someone who lives in Florida, I have more linen and seersucker shirts than someone who lives in a colder and less humid climate. Check out various style forums to learn more once you get going, and don't feel like what you read are hard and fast rules. You can break the rules, but you do have to learn them before you are able to do that effectively. Have fun!

All i can really say is be yourself. You don't need to get a haircut, or get everything brand new, just get clothing that represents who you are. (I'm a guy with long hair btw, so my hair cuts are much different then what most guys have it seems.)

As long as it is clean and not filled with holes its fair game ... and a big fuck you to he/she that thinks having bottoms ups/suits or any other of that awfull style of clothing is a sign of maturity.

Face (Haircut, trim, or style), Shoes, and Pants.

Same boat here, dropped some weight, and it is time to start buying new clothes, I feel like shoes and pants are a good place to start, since you can more or less mix and match what shirts you wear with what.

addressing me or someone else?

The real trick is to wear the clothes and not let the clothes wear you. That is to say when people wear something too far out of their comfort zone, it looks really obvious and like they're "trying too hard". Good fashion just looks natural.