How I'm going to become CEO of Activision

TL;DR question: Anyone else looking for a job?  
 
I've just returned from China with a degree in marketing management. So after years of essentially drinking and the occasional reading, it hit me: Shit just got real.  
 

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TL;DR question: Anyone else looking for a job?  
 
I've just returned from China with a degree in marketing management. So after years of essentially drinking and the occasional reading, it hit me: Shit just got real.  
 

(•_•)  

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

So you're going to become CEO by going to China and turning Bobby Kotick into burger feces?.....Whatever works, I guess.

Can you get me a job once you become a CEO?

I believe in you Foggel. Make it happen.

I like what you did there with the ASCII face and sunglasses. You're hired!

Good luck with that. Give us your name so I can call a hit squa- I mean follow your rise to the top and depose the glorio- I mean dastardly Robert Kotick.

I'm pretty sure Kotick got the job by murdering a bunch of kittens while masturbating outside a playground.

So, just do more of that than he did.

The secret to college is not getting good grades although that helps, and it's certainly not boozing away for 5 years never showing up for class - but rather tons and tons of internships that will eventually get you that "hey do you want to work here after you graduate? You know, like for money?" Proposition.

You have my Sword.

@kristov_romanov said:

I'm pretty sure Kotick got the job by murdering a bunch of kittens while masturbating outside a playground.

So, just do more of that than he did.

I like that

@Humanity said:

The secret to college is not getting good grades although that helps, and it's certainly not boozing away for 5 years never showing up for class - but rather tons and tons of internships that will eventually get you that "hey do you want to work here after you graduate? You know, like for money?" Proposition.

...but that also makes sense!

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Anyway, I don't know the first thing about Chinese higher education and Marketing Management, so all I can do is wish you luck. It sounds like you have a good plan there! Just look for jobs everywhere and keep pushing for more work and a bigger resume. Experience is what matters.

Just remember not to suck the devil's dick...

So you fulfil the criteria of being an utter cunt?

Hook me up for a writing job when ya can!
 
I currently work part time in a flower store but I hope to find something better soon, been applying all over the place but I think I'd rather study anyway.
We'll see, for now I live and that's more than a while ago.

@Tylea002 said:

You have my Sword.

And you have my Bow.

A member on Giantbomb being the CEO of Activision.

Don't know if that's an honor or not.

To become CEO of Activision you would have to sign a deal with the Devil, or at least give him a good reason to step down as CEO of Activision.

@Twisted_Scot said:

To become CEO of Activision you would have to sign a deal with the Devil, or at least give him a good reason to step down as CEO of Activision.

Best reply so far.

And yeah, if my experience is anything to go on, your best chance as an entry-level employee is to find a company that's on the rocks or too small to take on its competition. Lowball them on the hiring point. You'll be hired for a job you're only hypothetically qualified for, will take on a number of tasks that fall outside your comfort zone, and when they stop giving you raises it's time to go.

@gjedwards said:

@Tylea002 said:

You have my Sword.

And you have my Bow.

and my Axe!

@foggel: When you get there, I want you to make a military first-person porn game with female soldiers. If you want, throw some guys I guess. I have so many ideas. For the name, Call of Booty will do. Generic, unoriginal and uninspired? Yes. Will it make you billions? FUCK YES.

well i was just expecting you to say you would kill him and take over. i guess that work also.

when you do get the job, let everyone here a job.

Sell your soul (or your firstborn child) to the devil. Much faster.

You have to eat the heart of the previous CEO to run Activision. The tough part is, Activision CEO hearts pump pure strychnine. If you don't survive the process, your body will be used for COD mocap, and then as a celebratory feast to ring in the next CEO. Of course, since the heart has already been eaten, the new CEO will simply be handpicked from a litter of goatmen conceived by Bobby Kotick and a succubus.

If all goes as planned, I'll have a degree in Business Management from a moderately-prestigious university after next year. I'm an assistant manager at a pizza place now, and I know that worst-case-scenario could end up being a store manager of another franchise. I actually feel pretty good knowing that if I had to, I could support myself right now and not freeze or starve to death. Yay! I haven't failed at life! 
 
I don't exactly have a 'dream job'. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I love travel. I actually think it would be pretty awesome to be PR for a game company. I know I'm not exactly artistic enough to design games, but I'm good with people, and I think I could sell a game pretty hard to the public, even if I haven't put my heart and soul into it. If my company would fly me around to various events or whatever, that sounds pretty good. In the meantime though, I'm gonna keep slingin' dough for ten bucks an hour, and 'study hard'.

Realistically, you should be able to find an entry-level position at a marketing company that has video game publishers as clients. Make some friends there, and then work your way up. I'm a programmer, but I somehow ended up at marketing company for my out-of-college job, who happened to have Namco-Bandai as a client. Didn't stick around, but for someone in marketing, I can see it happening.

Alternatively, you could challenge Kotick to a duel. I'm almost convinced that that's how Activision promotions work, anyway.

I hope Bobby beats the crap out of you.

If you know Chinese really well, then that's a great skill. Being bilingual, especially in languages that don't have any root in latin, is a great thing when looking for jobs in business, marketing, etc.

The only qualification of being the CEO of Activision is not having a soul and a sexual lust for cash.

Guys, guys...

The joke is in the use of words.

@foggel said:

@awesomeusername: Good idea. I will need to hire some of the guys behind Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball.

Hire me as your lead director of everything on the project. I won't let you down. Pinky swear.