Last Call: Words to the (un)wise

Last Call! Closing Time! Last Orders! 
We've all been there, been out and about, having a good time, when the lights come on, the music turns off, and the bartender starts to look really tired. These words are a polite suggestion to finish your drinks and tabs, find a ride, and go home.

These are not polite suggestions inciting you to order a round for everyone at the bar. It is not a sign for you to buy a glass of the cheapest shit inthe well, and nurse it till sunrise. You should not order the most complicated drink you can think of, and one for your girlfriend, and "catch up" chatting for three hours. 

 No.
 It is the Unholy disembodied hand of God writing YOU ARE NOT WORTHY, GET THEE THE FUCK OUT! OF MY BAR on the the wall. 
The hours are posted, you saw them when you walked in. You hear when we announce last call, and should know that it means, GTFO, have a nice night. Don't look at me 90 past close, when I'm glaring at you, the lights are up, the heat blasting, TV's off, chairs are flipped, neon's are off, music turned to Death Metal, and ask "oh do you want us to leave?! How wude! You should have told us you were closing!"
 
I did. 90 minutes ago, when I told you to your face that it was last. fucking call, we were closed.

  Wow man...that's deep.

Oh bars....theres a reason why I only drink at parties.