It's 5 days into October and it's already way too cold for my comfort. I'm sitting in my room and I've got my hands together, inbetween my legs, rubbing them like I'm making fire or discovering how to masturbate for the first time. I dislike the winter times, I used to love the snow. I recall looking outside my window during the first days of December and seeing my normal view outside almost transformed, as if a thousand angels from up above simultaneously climaxed and spunked all over my lawn and neighbours roofs.
Cold, harsh winter days seems to make the general population where I reside bitter and unfriendly. In December of '05 I was waiting at my bus stop with a friend from school. We had both just finished our last class before winter break and she had invited me over for dinner the next day. We get on the bus and she seemed friendly enough, conversation came easily and we made Christmas present predictions. Her stop came first and as she gets up to walk down the bus aisle she turns to me and says, "See you tomorrow". I respond with, "Funny, that's what I tell a girl before I drop a paper bag over her head". She must have been late getting home since she did not have time to laugh.
I got home later that night and I had a message on my machine. It was her, "Hey [Omitted for Privacy], something's come up with my family so Christmas dinner has actually been cancelled, sorry". Understandable I remember thinking. The next night I had decided to go over to her place, just to be a friend she could talk to. I slogged through five feet of snow for 20 minutes and finally arrived in front of her house. The windows were lit up and silhouettes could be made out, drinking and dancing along to the music emanating from the house lit up by festive lights. It was like the scene in fucking 'Home Alone' when Kevin tricks the wet bandits into thinking that he is not, in fact, home alone. To this day I still do not know why she did that to me.
That Christmas was spent doing things that an old person would do. Watching old, old reruns of 'The Price is Right' back when Bob Barker's face didn't look like it was being held together with make up, playing scrabble online and wondering how much time I had left in the world before the sweet embrace of death took me in my sleep. I was hardly the picture of youth back then, you know the type. A slightly effeminate 16 year old boy living in New Jersey. His interests include tight jeans, leaning his head against his window while it rains and taking pictures of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. That's what kids do now right?
Ultimately I don't know why I wrote this blog. I guess my fingers were cold and I decided that typing for a bit might warm them up. Shit didn't work. But like all things I do here on Giant Bomb...I don't even know what the hell I do here, no clue where I was going with that. I wonder if this Christmas will be better than the one in '05? I'll have to get through Halloween first, and a blog about things that happened to me during previous Halloweens seems like it would have made more sense. But I've already typed all this shit out so no. What are the rest of you miscreants planning for this Halloween/Christmas?
Like Discovering How to Masturbate for the First time.
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