#1 Posted by pinner458 (788 posts) -

Bit of a sob story here but everyone close to me has their own shit to deal with so I don't want to vent to any of them about how trapped I feel so here goes. 2 of my best friends from college got rejected to go through to second year of our course today, one of whom has a door-to-door sales job that crushes him, another of my closest friends got dumped by his girlfriend last week and hasn't taken it well at all, my closest gf is training to work in a bank and is sobbing over texts to me right now because she thinks she's the dumbest person there (which couldn't possibly be true), my sister lives in Spain working as an air-hostess where she is abused and practically spat at everyday by customers, she wants to come home but she can't live in our house anymore because of an incident with my mams husband and she has an apartment there with a bf and a dog so she feels limited in terms of travelling. The issue with my sister and step-dad is obviously upsetting my mam who is prone to depression and random crying anyway. My brother isn't happy living in Australia anymore, as an Irishman he gets threatened and bullied all the time and often has trouble finding work because of it. Finally add that my dad is dying of alcoholism so I don't talk to him and then that's literally every person in my life except the local shopkeeper.

So I've got quite the perfect storm of shit in my life at the moment and it's bringing me down, making me feel surrounded, like I can't talk to anyone, except a group of strangers in a forum. Although maybe you aren't a bunch of strangers in a forum, maybe you're the GB duders who will say something dumb and ridiculous to make me feel better.

I do apologize if that was all a bit pathetic.

PS. I do have this one friend who got good news recently and is moving to NY with his wife and kid to start up a new position at his company ;)

#2 Posted by shivermetimbers (774 posts) -

There should be some low cost/sliding scale/free mental health services in your area you can check out. Look for group therapy services and such.

#3 Posted by konig_kei (618 posts) -

#5 Posted by CornBREDX (5307 posts) -

Always stay positive, no matter what. It's only up hill from here- that doesn't mean you cant enjoy the ride.

#6 Posted by mithical (313 posts) -

While the people in your life may have their own problems, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk to you about yours. Helping someone else feels good and they can take their mind off their own problems for awhile.

Still, if that's not an option then..

There should be some low cost/sliding scale/free mental health services in your area you can check out. Look for group therapy services and such.

Online
#7 Posted by sprode (112 posts) -

You're not the only one.

#8 Posted by Clonedzero (4200 posts) -

Your "closest gf"....are you implying you have multiple girlfriends? Do they know?

#9 Edited by DeadpanCakes (913 posts) -
@pinner458 said:

I do apologize if that was all a bit pathetic.

PS. I do have this one friend who got good news recently and is moving to NY with his wife and kid to start up a new position at his company ;)

Looks like you're a friend of a friend, friend.

Don't apologize for needing to talk. Sounds like things are hard, and I'm sure nobody here would expect somebody to apologize for having hard time and needing to talk about it. There's very little else out there that's as unfortunate, yet preventable as feeling like you've got nobody to talk to. So it's good that, even if you feel like there's nobody you're close to to speak with (which may not be true), you still opened up here.

#10 Edited by TrafalgarLaw (1130 posts) -

I can see why you're down or depressed about everyone and everything around you. You should remember that in hard times, it's easy to overlook the things that are good about your life. Try to focus on those for now, you presumably have a long life ahead of you so think whether these issues of now will matter in a years time.

Do not hesitate to talk to anyone about this, I strongly suggest you talk to family and friends about this. Venting is very important to do. If you feel you can't do this own your own, seek professional help. Talk to your doctor/GP or arrange an appointment with a psychologist. These people are trained and equipped to help you get through tough fases in one's life. All you have to do is take the first step towards them. I understand an anonymous forum is an easy place to vent this but it's not the most helpful.

G'luck chummer.

#11 Posted by animathias (1186 posts) -

Misery and company, duder... It's easy to think that everyone but you is out there living happy lives, but the cruel reality is there are a lot of people like us out there. Some are just better at putting on the mask than others.

Open up, don't be afraid. Don't be scared to talk to someone you love about their problems, and they should be happy to shoulder yours. Just as you need to vent, so do they. Sometimes lending an open ear is the perfect way to open one towards you.

Also, don't worry about posting your problems here. Screw any haters, though I've seen none so far. I read your story and I sympathize with you. It's not pathetic at all. As someone who obsessively bounces things around his head that make him feel miserable, I can tell you that getting those things out is more important than anything. The more you dwell on the dark, the further you get from the light.

I wish I had something ridiculous to say to lighten the mood, but I don't. Luckily, we're currently on a website chocked full of that.

Keep your chin up. I hate being told "It'll get better," because it hasn't yet... But I keep telling myself I'll never get over this hill if I don't keep moving forward.

#12 Posted by ElixirBronze (428 posts) -

Whenever I feel down I like to watch a couple of videos of this guy on youtube. There's just something about his laughter that is very infectious.

Maybe it's not for everyone and there's a risk you might find him annoying instead.

#13 Posted by Korwin (2866 posts) -

My brother isn't happy living in Australia anymore, as an Irishman he gets threatened and bullied all the time and often has trouble finding work because of it.

Um... what? Last time I check hating on Irish people wasn't particularly big here.

#14 Posted by ViciousBearMauling (1103 posts) -

@korwin said:

@pinner458 said:

My brother isn't happy living in Australia anymore, as an Irishman he gets threatened and bullied all the time and often has trouble finding work because of it.

Um... what? Last time I check hating on Irish people wasn't particularly big here.

It's probably a case of just hating on foreigners.

Everyone gets fucked over a lot, but we keep it together somehow and find a peaceful middle ground at some point. Like is like a war of attrition, eventually you'll win some battles. Eventually things will be looking up.

#15 Posted by pinner458 (788 posts) -

Misery and company, duder... It's easy to think that everyone but you is out there living happy lives, but the cruel reality is there are a lot of people like us out there. Some are just better at putting on the mask than others.

Open up, don't be afraid. Don't be scared to talk to someone you love about their problems, and they should be happy to shoulder yours. Just as you need to vent, so do they. Sometimes lending an open ear is the perfect way to open one towards you.

Also, don't worry about posting your problems here. Screw any haters, though I've seen none so far. I read your story and I sympathize with you. It's not pathetic at all. As someone who obsessively bounces things around his head that make him feel miserable, I can tell you that getting those things out is more important than anything. The more you dwell on the dark, the further you get from the light.

I wish I had something ridiculous to say to lighten the mood, but I don't. Luckily, we're currently on a website chocked full of that.

Keep your chin up. I hate being told "It'll get better," because it hasn't yet... But I keep telling myself I'll never get over this hill if I don't keep moving forward.

Oh wow, I'd seen this Video Thing before but it's so good at making you smile its always worth watching again. Thanks for your kind words duder, you speak with wisdom and finesse. And a big ol' cheers to everyone else for contributing and not being dicks. Although obviously everyone has problems from time to time its still good to see you guys express it on here.

@elixirbronze: Subbed that guy, pretty infectious laugh alright.

Also I didn't mean girlfriend girlfriend, just a friend who is a girl, don't know why I felt the need to point that out actually...

#16 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6299 posts) -

I listen to stand up comedy when I'm depressed or in a shitty place in life. Laughing at the horrendous things in your life can be really cathartic and is a great coping mechanism.

#17 Posted by tourgen (4504 posts) -

hey man I know that feeling. Try to think about something specific recently that went right, that turned out O.K. Something positive you accomplished; even the smallest thing. Think about the people you love, but in a concrete way - positive things about them or things they did. Let them know.

#18 Edited by alwaysbebombing (1588 posts) -

There should be some low cost/sliding scale/free mental health services in your area you can check out. Look for group therapy services and such.

#19 Posted by Random45 (1212 posts) -

Well hey, at least things can't get any worse! Nowhere to go but up from now on!

#20 Edited by I_Stay_Puft (3407 posts) -

Hey dude I stepped in dog shit today if that makes you feel any better. Here's hoping things get better for you in the future

#21 Edited by dudeglove (7862 posts) -

#22 Posted by Unilad (562 posts) -
#23 Edited by clush (417 posts) -

Just because there's shit happening doesn't mean you can't be happy. The two are hardly related. Also, your story hardly is the perfect storm, as crappy as that may sound. Count your blessings, smell the roses, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not because there's no reason to feel sorry for yourself, but because if you DO, that's the point where all this shit starts affecting your happiness. Chin up, it's the only way to not let the bastards win.

It's not always easy, but it's pretty much the human condition.

If your actually feeling depressed for a significant amount of time rather than just dwelling in melancholy for a while (careful with that, shit's addictive) go see a professional. There's zero shame in that.

Edit: Also, go make some new friends man. Join a club, join a church, whatever. You need to meet more people.

#24 Posted by Sanj (2392 posts) -

Stay strong duder.

#25 Posted by pinner458 (788 posts) -

I listen to stand up comedy when I'm depressed or in a shitty place in life. Laughing at the horrendous things in your life can be really cathartic and is a great coping mechanism.

Yeah stand up is pretty great when you're feeling down, especially cynical stand-ups like Dylan Moran or Frankie Boyle. I've also spent alot of my free time watching Rifftrax recently, particularly the Harry Potter series. It's good to laugh.

#26 Edited by Jeust (10655 posts) -

You shouldn't make that doomed image in your mind. Everyone has their own shitcreek to deal with. You should think about your own life and help others were you can, but leave them to deal with their own issues, because they are for them to face. You shouldn't expect to solve other people's problems on a regular basis. If you can you should lend a hand. if you can't, conform to it, and live you life.

#27 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5519 posts) -

Well you're in the right place. Have a laugh duder.

#28 Edited by Gatehouse (626 posts) -

As someone who's had trouble with this whole depression malarkey, if you're really feeling that bad, then go and talk to your doctor, there's no shame in it. In the meantime, just try and focus on the little things that give you pleasure and make the very most out of those. Ask yourself why they make you feel better and then try and apply that to other aspects of your life. If this dumb website makes you laugh, then try to just laugh at all the dumb shit that life throws at you each day. I just hope any of that helps.

#29 Edited by SteamRickroller (310 posts) -

Everybody goes through a really shitty period in life sooner or later. You just gotta try and get through in one piece, and if you do, you'll be feeling like you're on top of the world.

If you're really feeling down about it, then you should definetely talk to somebody about it. There's bound to be somebody in Dublin who can help you out. I really hope you start feeling better soon.

#30 Posted by boysef (76 posts) -

@pinner458: You are NOT alone duder, thats the most important thing to realize. My life has fallen completely apart in the last year, and I am slowly picking up the pieces. Friends are the most important thing though man, surround yourself with the people that love you and it will slowly get better. Don't expect a magic pill or a perfect day that will turn it around, this shit takes time... it's awful and it sucks but other people out there go through the same shit everyday. PM if you ever want to talk or anything, I'm no doctor but I can definitely relate...

#31 Posted by codenamelenny (14 posts) -

There should be some low cost/sliding scale/free mental health services in your area you can check out. Look for group therapy services and such.

@jeust said:

You shouldn't make that doomed image in your mind. Everyone has their own shitcreek to deal with. You should think about your own life and help others were you can, but leave them to deal with their own issues, because they are for them to face.

#33 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2775 posts) -

"My brother isn't happy living in Australia anymore, as an Irishman he gets threatened and bullied all the time and often has trouble finding work because of it."

Wow, that is troubling. In the US anyone with an Irish, Scottish or English lilt is pretty well liked these days. We associate being Irish or British subject as being likable, this is obviously 180 degrees from the impression 100 years ago or even 50 years ago.