Possible Aspergers

Hey dudes,

Have been having health problems recently, and after a lot of tests and specialists a psychiatrist has essentially diagnosed me as being on the Autism Spectrum with probable Aspergers.

And this has really freaked me out, and has me doubting so many decisions and day to day things that it's getting wearying. My wife is freaked out enough and I don't want to saddle her with this.

Just venting a bit, and wondering if there are any other Aspergers dudes out there who might have gone through a late life diagnosis.

Thanks guys and gals

Try not to freak out, duder. This can be a good thing.

A friend of mine is on the Asperger spectrum and the diagnosis actually led him to really figure out some things; both in terms of how he interacts with others, and also in being able to better accept himself and what he once thought were bad traits as things that are just in his nature.

All the best, hope everything works out.

I don't have any personal experience, but if you're having doubt and anxiety issues, try to remember that this doesn't change who you are. If you're on the spectrum, it's better to know that and be aware of it. Keep talking to your psychiatrist or therapist, and keep talking to your wife. Good luck! Everything's going to be OK!

@bmccann42 What kind of health issues were you having if you don't mind me asking?

@lanechanger: Seizures, migraines, mild confusion - lots of tests and specialists

I wouldn't stress it. Whether you do or not, you're still you. Knowing this can be very empowering.

You'll be ok duder. I've known and worked with people across the autism spectrum and people with Aspergers are still great people and can accomplish their goals just like anyone else (and there are people with Aspergers who are assholes as to be expected but whatever). I don't mean to make light of your situation in any way, medical problems are scary but you can overcome.

If you do have Aspergers you must be quite high functioning to have a wife and reach the point you are without a diagnosis. And a side note: keep your wife in the loop, don't shut her out, you're not a burden. There will be times she needs you just like you need her.

The more you know about yourself, the better you will be equipped to deal with things.

Don't stress out is the best advice which everyone is already giving you. Doesn't change who you are one bit just puts a label in it so to speak I work as an Autism Consultant I can send you some materials on dealing with a new diagnosis if you want to PM me your email address.

Talk to your doctor, ask some questions. You'll be fine.

I work in the I/DD field, including working with some individuals with Autism spectrum disorders. I've worked with a few individuals, and have known several others personally, who have a diagnosis of Asperger's. First and foremost, I'd say if you've made it this far in your life without it significantly impacting your work or social life (you noted you're married), then I wouldn't worry much about that particular diagnosis. It's primarily a social disability, and many people never get diagnosed and live totally typical lives, as it sounds like you're doing. Just do what you were doing that was working for you before the diagnosis.

As for the medical problems you are describing, those are categorically not part of Asperger's, and you shouldn't stop pursuing whatever the root cause of them might be, so that you don't miss some underlying medical condition that could significantly impact your immediate or long-term future.

You've lived this long not knowing what it was called. No reason to doubt yourself now. It's just a word to describe these symptoms.

Having a mental illness and label like this is not a bad thing nor does it make you a bad or weird person. If you need advice on how to cope with this or maybe change some things that you may dislike if you really find them bothersome you should ask your doctors about it.

You're alright, dude.

Sounds like Asperger's might be the least of your problems. And, as many others have said, doctors saying you have Asperger's doesn't change who you were or... anything, really.

While I completely agree with your assessment of mental illness, I would like to point out that Asperger's is not a mental illness. It is a developmental disability. That may seem like a minor point, but it is significant in terms of the support that the individual with the diagnosis might need. A mental illness, like most other illnesses, can usually effectively be treated by medication, and may be time-limited in terms of how long it affects the person. A developmental disability is not an illness, and cannot be "treated" by medication. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I just don't want the OP to think that he needs to pursue medical (mental, or physical) treatment for the Asperger's diagnosis, since there really isn't any.

I've kind of gotten through life almost playing the role of myself in my head, doing a lot of things because people expect them; real bad at making and keeping friends (always have been), body language always confounds me, flirting especially confounds me, hate making eye contact, hate crowds, not good in social situations, etc.

Its actually my wife who first brought up that i might fall on the Autism spectrum because i am extremely level with emotions, never show very much regardless of the situation. Mentioned it to this psychiatrist I was suggested to see, and he almost immediately agreed with it.

@ralphmoustaccio: Crap, I knew that, but I wrote too fast. I blame sleep deprivation.

@bmccann42: I feel the same way you're describing quite often, too, even though I don't meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's. It's surely much more pervasive for you, but those are certainly feelings that everyone experiences and can relate to in some degree, and there's nothing inherently wrong with them. If it doesn't interfere with your life substantially, then I wouldn't be too worried about it. If it does, or it has an effect on your relationships with significant people in your life (e.g. wife, family members), then it might be worth pursuing some guidance from a professional who specializes in Asperger's for adults (not kids, which is unfortunately where most professionals tend to focus) about some ways to overcome the aspects that are causing difficulties, such as learning to maintain better eye contact, or practicing reading body language.

My uncle has it and I have a number of other acquaintances who have it. It's nothing to lose your mind over, just understand which aspects of it you are most inclined to show and work with it.

You have the same brain after as you had before. Nothing has changed besides the label.

Thanks for the help guys, it's really a help that the community is so willing to give advice and support!

I'm on the spectrum myself and while there's a stigma attached (as with any neurological/behavioral thing), it really shouldn't bother you. I also have mood disorder (a type of schizoaffective bipolar type) along with other neurological issues (tic disorders, etc.). I find the best thing to do is just do your best. Autism isn't a bad thing at all. We live in a world of neurotypicals who might judge our behaviors, but we're not bad people and deserve the same amount of respect. If anything, you might gain a better understanding of your past and the decisions you made (good or bad). With that understanding, you'll know how to better suit yourself for the future.

@bmccann42: Asperger isnt in the DSM-5 anymore, so I don't believe you can be diagnosed with it. Either way late stage diagnosis of neurological disorders like autism are typically superfluous for a high functioning, well adjusted person like yourself. At this stage it may only serve to give a little context to previous life experiences. Anyways, I hope life treats you well, and don't take this too hard brother.

@sumbog: You're right that the DSM-V did lump several different previous diagnoses into a singular "Autism Spectrum Disorder" category. From autism.com:

One of the most significant changes is that the separate diagnostic labels of Autistic Disorder, Asperger’s Disorder, and PDD-NOS will be replaced by one umbrella term “Autism Spectrum Disorder.” Further distinctions will be made according to severity levels. The severity levels are based on the amount of support needed, due to challenges with social communication and restricted interests and repetitive behaviors. For example, a person might be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1, Level 2, or Level 3. The DSM-V revision website says the reasons for using the umbrella term of “Autism Spectrum Disorder” are 1) the old way isn’t precise enough—different clinicians diagnose the same person with different disorders, and some change their diagnosis of the same symptoms differently from year to year, and 2) autism is defined by a common set of behaviors and it should be characterized by a single name according to severity.

The removal of the formal diagnoses of Asperger’s Disorder and PDD-NOS is a major change. People who currently hold these diagnoses will likely receive a different diagnosis when re-evaluated.

Despite not having Asperger's as a separate clinical diagnosis, knowing that one exhibits the characteristics previously used to determine that specific diagnosis can be very helpful to the individual and/or family members in terms of identifying the supports that someone needs to be successful, such as qualifying for assistance with acquisition, training, and maintaining a job, for example, if someone struggles with the social skills needed to do those things successfully. The ASD diagnosis would allow someone to access state-funded services for that, but understanding what differentiates Asperger's from Autistic D/O and PDD-NOS can help direct those services much more effectively.

Aspergers isn't a real ailment anymore according to the DSM 5. You might just be on the Spectrum. It's not a big deal. I have a whole host of weird personality quirks and it has been suggested by a doctor or two that I am on the spectrum, or I just have an anxiety disorder or OCD or what have you. Find a combination of treatments that that work for you to tackle these issues and face them head on. I spent a lot of years in my early 20 awash in troubling diagnoses and psychiatric medication. I was a mess. I felt like I'd lost control of my life. It took me a while but I decided I was tired of that shit and explored many different ways of conquering my ailments. For me, what ended up working was mindfulness practice, meditation, and an SSRI to keep me level. The most important thing is not to let the labels that get placed on you become integrated into your consciousness. Do not let "being on the spectrum" define you.

My best friend is on the spectrum, and he didn't even tell me after almost a decade of knowing him. He had a lot of the same struggles as you, but he lives a pretty normal life now. Like everyone else in this thread is saying, just be yourself and don't stress out about it.

Ive got it, and honestly, don't worry, you're not waking up tomorrow with a sudden desire to become a serial killer, or to start eating glue. Its a developmental disability, it doesnt worse, it doesn't go away and if you never think about yourself differently from before you were diagnosed it might as well not exist

I got the diagnosis when I was 25. I had no idea and my friends and family had no idea. If anything it has made me more calm. But I only have a mild degree of the syndrome.

Perhaps I'm making a comparison that doesn't quite work, but being on the spectrum would be like finding out you're gay. Yes, it's different (from what you thought), but it's not a negative thing at all and knowing it about yourself will help you be happy in life.

I'm sure you'll be fine dude, it'll probably be good in the way that you can start to understand your reactions to certain situations better. Allow you to learn how and why you think or react the way you do to stuff.

Good luck dude, I can imagine why that may be a scary thing to find out.

You've gotten this far, knowing can only make things easier to understand.

Good luck dude, I can imagine why that may be a scary thing to learn about yourself.