Real people are overrated, am I right.. screen names?

I've come to realize that I spend more time having quality conversations with complete strangers on the internet than I do with real people in real life. People in real life are consumed with the monotony of daily life. Talking to my spouse, coworkers or friends you see more than once a month hardly triggers a conversation worthy of memory. But online I've found plenty of fun and engaging conversations about anything and everything. Why do people in general keep insisting on talking about mundane crap? Some people talk and I can't do anything other than look at a mouth move to form waves in the air but nothing of value is actually reaching my brain. We might as well just make noise for the sake of it. And if deity forbid I bring something up that takes brain power to discuss, it's as if I was throwing a ball against a wall.

Am I the only one in the world tired of "What did you do at work today?" or "How was your weekend?" not to mention "How are you?" -- Work was the same as yesterday. My weekend was uneventful. And I am feeling shit, but you wouldn't ask a follow up question to that last one, would you? Because you don't really want to connect, you just want to be polite. But I've always passionately hated polite talk for the sake of it. It's entirely pointless. Get to a point or shut up and leave my ear alone.

Is someone else feeling like this? Or do you all have friends you actually meet regularly enough that you get some decent conversations in real life that doesn't revolve around monotone bullshit? Do some of you actually enjoy these polite conversations?

It's why the old notion of friendship is true, there's nothing like sharing silence with a real friend. Because a real friend doesn't need to fill the silence with crap to keep the connection.

Granted, you can cherry pick the conversations online, so perhaps there's an element of personal editorial power that goes into making internet conversations more engaging than real life.

It's one thing to think that about the people you work with, but if you think that about the person you're married to, then maybe you two should get some counselling or something.

I'm not a fan of small talk. I prefer to have conversations about stuff but you have to deal with small talk as well. Also you maybe need to see someone if you don't enjoy conversations with your wife.

I'm blessed with two friends that have some level of intelligence that leads to more than just "How was your day?" but beyond that I found myself nodding at your post.
 
I always like talking to people online as it usually forces them to focus on the conversation.
I mean, when did you last go over to someone, sat down and just talked?
No tv, no games, no nothing else to distract you?
 
It's all about finding the right people though, you can't share everything you are with one person (fairy tale!) so if you get some people around you with decent expertise.
I got a cousin that always talks fun with me, never anything else.
I got a friend that always talks about writing with me.
 
In real life people tend to have little time or interest in others, barely making an exception into their schedule if you're profitable to them (one night stand, mutual goal) and even then you're supposed to get out of their sights when the goal is reached.

Real people aren't in general really all they're cracked up to be, but for all intents and purposes better than connecting with people on the internet. It's more difficult, to be sure, and finding the right people to befriend can be time-consuming business, but for the most part the people one surrounds oneself with ends up being the most important part of one's life.

I have autism and I can greatly agree with you, discussion on the Internet often seem more to the point and less of a waste of time - of course you also pick what you want to talk about - instead of people bothering you with pointless and monotone things.

When I am out alone I generally like to be left...alone. A lot of people are dumb and very standard in their ways, I don't need to talk with some random person that watches Britain Got Talent and goes out drinking every weekend. Yawn.

I like talking to around 5 of my friends who can hold conversation and my girlfriend, anybody else I do keep conversations short. Oh, I don't have that many friends, well I do, but they are more people I'm friendly with and knew over the years, I don't consider them friend 'friends' if that makes sense. I prefer having a small group of people to know well and who I can focus on without feeling like I'm neglecting X person.

I don't talk to many people online either, maybe around 6 people quite often. I included 2 of them in my 'real friends' figure because I've known them since like 2003 from Xbox Live, I've never met them but at this point it's still a friendship.

Conversations online carry none of the weird social expectations or awkwardness inherent to physical interactions with another human being. I believe online relationships(no, not the romantic kind... but that kind too) have the capacity to be more "genuine" than real ones because over the internet, all you have are words. There's no pressure to conform to how you think the other person wants you to act to keep things civil, no body language, no expectations. I feel like people are more inclined to say how they REALLY feel over the internet without any of that pressure. That sort of sincerity is a rare, touching thing, and so are the emotions that come with it. With that sort of connection, people are more willing to talk openly. Even when it's all just text, it makes for a more fulfilling relationship.

I mean, I love my real life friends, and my parents, and so on, but I wish I could connect with them on a more meaningful level than is possible with face to face interaction. Or something.

EDIT: The reverse is also true. There are ways of interacting and connecting with other human beings completely unique to real life, physical relationships as well. Don't nobody come 'round trying to educate me on something that should be obvious.

@MooseyMcMan: Obviously I exaggerate to an extent, and I get that when you see someone every day eventually you don't always have a ton of new thing to talk about. But my girl is someone who insists on talking about nothing because it actually gives her the feeling that she's a part of my life. I, on the other hand, cringe at talking about my job when it rarely changes from day to day but I indulge her to a point. But we do have interesting conversations also, I'm just frustrated. But that's more on me than anyone else, actually.

@TaliciaDragonsong: I have two friends in particular that I have those "no distractions" talks with. They're fulfilling and the result is that they know me better than most people, which also helps a great deal since they can give advice better than most since it's tailored to me.

@Hugh_Jazz: I don't necessarily agree, I've bonded strongly with people online and they've ended up being important parts of my life. Sure, there's an advantage to knowing people "face to face" but there's just enough deception of intent in real life as people proclaim internet to be filled with.

@Village_Guy: Indeed, but perhaps that's also my issue. I cherry pick the discussions based on interest and discard the others. Making discussions luxuriously tailored for myself instead of the group you find yourself in when you're out and about in real life. It's sort of like being in a coffee shop and switching tables whenever the discussion goes somewhere you're bored with. It would look rather strange. So maybe one is a bit spoiled in that regard with how the internet works and you tell yourself that's the way it should be. Not realizing real life is more like a broad message board with people from all walks of life and not a specialized forum for a specific interest group.

@Sooty: I really get what you mean with your friends distinction. I'm the same way, I have a few friends I would call true close friends, those are the people that know all of me. I've got some I would call casual friends who know something of me but not all. And the rest are just labeled "people I happen to know in some regard". Also, being left alone when you're out is something I developed something of an expertise of since I usually wear glasses, I used to walk around without them because that way I didn't necessarily see people that wanted to meet and greet over nonsense.

@Artemesia: I found a hybrid of that when a friend of mine went to Australia to work for a few months. We were emailing back and forth and while he's a really close friend and he knows me more than most, it felt as though we were somehow being more sincere anyway. It got me thinking that perhaps I should make the effort to get to know my family better than I actually do. But I agree, I've found that while there are a lot of nonsense online, it seems easier to find random strong connections with people and bond over thoughts and ideas rather than artificial social value.

I prefer not to talk to racist, homophobic 13 year olds.

No good comes from talking to people within games at least.

I'm blessed with two friends that have some level of intelligence that leads to more then just "How was your day?" 

Its because you think you're better than them. It's not a nice mindset.

@Pezen:

I'm glad someone is bringing this up, I started feeling like I am the only person who noticed that and is kinda annoyed by it. Most people I came across in real life are rather shallow, lacking the ability to come up with any more than mere smalltalk. And when you start a serious topic or just something that requires to put some thought into your answer they look at me like I'm an alien. Well, I guess I am a bit of an alien but that's another story.

In my case, people tend to just randomly tell me episodes of their life, what they did, what they said to others, and usually I am listening because, well, I don't want to be rude. I give my opinion when asked for, but none of these subjects are of any significance to me, and I am often caught forgetting things I've been told before... sometimes I feel like saying "If you want me to remember the stuff you've told me, tell me something interesting for a change", but as mentioned above, I don't want to be rude.

Most of the people I know are nice to me, randomly engage me in conversations and even asked me out before, but I think they still consider me "weird" for my tendency to be a loner. I guess in society, it is still considered odd and weird to find no joy in going out regularly and meeting new people. But I don't feel like indulging in all the unimportance of the little daily life routine.

@Pezen said:

Granted, you can cherry pick the conversations online, so perhaps there's an element of personal editorial power that goes into making internet conversations more engaging than real life.

Yup, that's probably it.

But I do agree with you, I dislike pointless polite conversations 99% of the time. I don't listen, and I don't care. The other one percent is scarce times when a meaningless conversation could be used to break the ice with someone, before going headstrong right into something interesting. Maybe.

@Pezen said:

And I am feeling shit, but you wouldn't ask a follow up question to that last one, would you? Because you don't really want to connect, you just want to be polite.

Yea, that's my issue with people. All the hypocrisy and other things I'm too lazy to put into coherent thoughts.

@Video_Game_King: How are you doing?

I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody.

I'm pretty terrible at IRL conversation. That said, I'm probably pretty bad at online conversation. The difference is that I don't care at all what people on the interwebs think of me, so that usually leads to dialogue that interests me but is frequently terrifying for anyone caught in the way.

Real life people suck. VirtuaPeople is the future! JOIN NOW FOR EXCLUSIVE.. SOMETHING!

How about that weather? Cold, eh?

A nerd on the internet without any real-life fulfilling relationships trying to convince himself that he's better off. Why put in the effort to find something in the real world? Just convince yourself that your way is better and everyone else (and human nature) is wrong.

Small talk is a cheap way to:

1. Start a conversation

2. Have a short conversation with someone that doesn't particularly know what to say to you and vice versa.

3. Give acknowledgement

Sure small talk gets really old. As long as it initiates a bigger conversation, then it's alright.

Just don't make the mistake like I did and give out too much information about yourself online. It's not worth it.

Wait...you'd rather talk to a random on the Internet rather than your own wife?

I think you need a new wife.

@TaliciaDragonsong: No, I'm not particularly interested in this topic, I just get hung up on bad English, especially when you're talking about associating with people that display a 'level of intelligence' that others don't. 

@Swoxx:

I don't get it. What point are you trying to prove? You simply ask it out of some societal obligation, and I simply answer it in an attempt to shut you the hell up; the entire practice is flawed from the ground up.

No, shit no. The internet it is like the worst place ever for good conversation. If you have close friends that are intelligent and you can talk to those problems you listed aren't a huge issue. Because then maybe you DO care about the people around you and are more inclined to care. And not living a totally solipsistic existence talking with people you likely don't know as well as you think you do.

@Video_Game_King said:

@Swoxx:

I don't get it. What point are you trying to prove? You simply ask it out of some societal obligation, and I simply answer it in an attempt to shut you the hell up; the entire practice is flawed from the ground up.

Is all I was trying to prove.

"Assburgers - The Thread"
What you should've named this.

@TaliciaDragonsong: Didn't say anything about your post, other than to correct a little ironic mistake. I don't need the insults, thanks. 

I think OP is craaaaaaaaaazy.

But what happens when your screen name IS your real name?

@evanbower said:

But what happens when your screen name IS your real name?

World War III

Also, I feel like your disdain for real life conversations might say more about your insecurities than the mundane quality of those people. Your interactions might be limited to such everyday topics because it takes guts to broaden conversation face to face, but is easy behind a keyboard and internet moniker. That's just one possibility though.

Being on the internet makes me hate people. Being in real life makes me like them again. So I disagree with the original point.

I feel like I can sum up a lot of the comments in this thread:

1. I, too, have these problems.
2. You fucking suck for having these problems.

@Beforet said:

Being on the internet makes me hate people. Being in real life makes me like them again. So I disagree with the original point.

Absolutely fucking nailed it.

@Pezen said:

I've come to realize that I spend more time having quality conversations with complete strangers on the internet than I do with real people in real life. People in real life are consumed with the monotony of daily life. Talking to my spouse, coworkers or friends you see more than once a month hardly triggers a conversation worthy of memory. But online I've found plenty of fun and engaging conversations about anything and everything. Why do people in general keep insisting on talking about mundane crap? Some people talk and I can't do anything other than look at a mouth move to form waves in the air but nothing of value is actually reaching my brain. We might as well just make noise for the sake of it. And if deity forbid I bring something up that takes brain power to discuss, it's as if I was throwing a ball against a wall.

Am I the only one in the world tired of "What did you do at work today?" or "How was your weekend?" not to mention "How are you?" -- Work was the same as yesterday. My weekend was uneventful. And I am feeling shit, but you wouldn't ask a follow up question to that last one, would you? Because you don't really want to connect, you just want to be polite. But I've always passionately hated polite talk for the sake of it. It's entirely pointless. Get to a point or shut up and leave my ear alone.

Is someone else feeling like this? Or do you all have friends you actually meet regularly enough that you get some decent conversations in real life that doesn't revolve around monotone bullshit? Do some of you actually enjoy these polite conversations?

It's why the old notion of friendship is true, there's nothing like sharing silence with a real friend. Because a real friend doesn't need to fill the silence with crap to keep the connection.

Granted, you can cherry pick the conversations online, so perhaps there's an element of personal editorial power that goes into making internet conversations more engaging than real life.

This problem is easily solved. Lead a more interesting life/surround yourself with more interesting people and you'll find you have a lot more to talk about to those around you. It's a cycle, internet socialization. The more you do it, the less you are integrating with people in the flesh, the less you do that, the more you have to rely on the internet. People won't say anything that interests you unless you inspire it in them. Real life doesn't have the advantage of having thread titles and sub-reddits for you to browse. It takes more "work" to have an interesting conversation/friendship but it's infinitely more satisfying.

Also, assuming those around you have nothing interesting to bring to the table is incredibly self-centred and immature (I'll take a stab in the dark and assume you're not yet in your twenties).

@UlquioKani said:

I'm not a fan of small talk. I prefer to have conversations about stuff but you have to deal with small talk as well. Also you maybe need to see someone if you don't enjoy conversations with your wife.

This.

I disagree. I love all people, i just hate being around them, well except family and some close friends.

I'm enjoying the wild assumptions. I'll reply to them once I'm back home, writing a long reply on the phone just seems risky. But keep the discussion going, some interesting posts so far.

yeah I think what's being expressed here is a dislike of societal pressures. I have felt this way many times before myself. So many of the things we do to try to act polite etc. are nonsensical in some ways. Communication is a two way street and you have to use intuition to divine what's going on exactly. If someone's speaking mostly in polite standoffish tone consider they are feeling closed and uncomfortable with sharing deeper things with you. I think you'll find you're doing the same thing as them in this regard on closer inspection of your behavior.

It's also a very easy thing to do to externalize our own faults, and they are obvious faults, that's not my judgement that's how you judge yourself because you see it as impeding your happiness. Again it is in fact your responsibility, if everyone else were the determining variable in this equation that would make you amazingly grandiose indeed and in fact superior to all others in some way by virtue of your specialness.

I get what the OP is saying, and I'm the same way. However, as some people seem to think, I don't think I'm this great, massively interesting, perfect person. If that were true then I would be constantly starting interesting conversations. That doesn't mean I can't be totally uninterested in discussing your CRAZY(mundane and totally normal) work day or hearing about this HILARIOUS conversation you had with your other friend. Sometimes small talk is good for a laugh or can spawn something bigger, but most of the time it's just uninteresting and pulling my focus from something more worth my time. Believe me, I would love to be surrounded by more interesting people, but it's not that easy. If you're going to tell me it is then I question why you're wasting your time reading this post rather than talking to them.

Also, I don't understand why people who have absolutely nothing of value to add feel the need to post. Strangely enough, it's always the people who disagree with the OP, and are usually very aggressive about it. You guys are dicks and need to chill.

@Video_Game_King said:

@Swoxx:

I don't get it. What point are you trying to prove? You simply ask it out of some societal obligation, and I simply answer it in an attempt to shut you the hell up; the entire practice is flawed from the ground up.

If someone asks you how you are, and you respond in a way that shuts down conversation, is it not your own fault that you did not give a more thoughtful and meaningful answer that could have sparked a deeper conversation? If you are approached for conversations with no desire for conversation you can't really complain that you don't have good conversations when you don't put any effort into prolonging the conversation. Conversations, by definition, require effort on both ends, otherwise they are just monologues, something you do quite well I might add. It's not beyond a stretch of the imagination that by being so blunt and putting no effort into your interactions that you may come across as a rude antisocial dick and end up being the cause of your own problem.

@makari:

You ignored the first part, where I said that it's less an honest inquiry and more just a hollow nicety. In fact, let's play out the logic that led me to this conclusion:

"How are you doing today?"

"Actually, I've been having a lot of trouble at work recently, what with the new ch-"

"Dude, too much information."

And then I realize that the right answer would have been "good" simply because they're more concerned about being polite than they are about being genuine in their communication....even though it's pretty damn rude to try to force somebody into conversation and then call them an asshole for not wanting to converse. Not a fan of such predatorial behavior.

@Beforet said:

Being on the internet makes me hate people. Being in real life makes me like them again. So I disagree with the original point.

Yep.

@Unknown_Pleasures: Call me crazy, but it's the opposite for me.