using giant bomb for girl advise...

@Lyniz: Because she used the word "Cute" in Hangin' with Friends? True love.

Meet in the elevator. But first befriend elevator operator. So he stops it mid way. Then look at her say I love you then bam huge make out sex session. That's how I met mrs.SexyToad

Draw her a picture of you faking your own death.

@ whiteous86. That is what I'm saying. Am I stupid crazy? I'm not a idiot. We r just playing a game, and I'm not happy. So is it all in my head?

@Jolt92 said:

@JasonR86 said:

@Lyniz said:

advise?

Stop being a pussy and ask her out. If she says no then that's that.

And now when I saw that you were fucking married and had kids this was even weirder. Don't do what I just quoted.

Oh. You're married? If you're married and not happy seek counseling, have a separation for a while, or divorce. But for the love of God don't cheat. What the fuck is wrong with you?

@AjayRaz said:

@aurahack: i feel for you. they don't call it cumpany ink for no reason, eh?

ahaha.. haha.. ahhhh i'll be on my way.

Not cheating or trying to get cheating advice. Just wondering, what would u do?

Ask her out. Who cares if she's a coworker, you've got nothing to lose unless you are gonna go weird if she says no.

Good Guy Sooty: Breaks up with girlfriend, doesn't post about it on Giant Bomb.

Wait a minute...

Its not cheating cuz Im not doing anything. I have crossed no lines. I'm just asking questions on here.

@DuskVamp said:

@Lyniz: You're not cheating yet, no. But you're asking questions about how to hook up with some 20 something girl while you're married, so you're obviously wanting to cheat.

Also, emotional cheating.

I'm not asking how to hook up with her. I don't want to cheat. I want to know if I'm crazy or maybe I have a reason to think this new girl might be having the same torment. She knows my whole story, wife, kids and everything. I don't say I'm super unhappy, but I'm sure she can tell. She is a good girl and would never cheat either. Basically do I risk dealing with my wife trying to screw over my life with my kids for a thing that could just be in my head. I love my kids more then anything, my daughter changed my life. I don't want to lose that, but I have no legal bond to her. It's fuched.

me thinks OP is going through a mid life crisis. think about not happy with family life, trying to get with a 20 something year old co-worker. next he will be asking about buying a Ferrari

@Lyniz:

@Wrighteous86 said:

Also, emotional cheating.

Fucked, an h, in it does not.

Oh you're married. That changes things.

I think you need to talk to your wife. If you're unhappy and you might be developing feelings for someone else, you need to decide whether you can work out the deeper issues in your marriage, or you need to mutually decide it can't work and move on.

You should not, however, do anything to progress or encourage this other girl. That will only end badly for both of you.

No matter what though, don't sit there in silence while your marriage falls apart. And that's what is happening here; you are emotionally cheating, you are getting closer to actually cheating, and that will destroy your marriage one way or another. If you want your marriage destroyed, that's fair enough, but be a man and tell your wife that instead of dicking around behind her back.

Is she drawing pictures of tits and pussies when you play "Draw Something," with an arrow saying "Insert Here -->" ??? Then yes. If not, then I don't know.

God I hope it's not midlife. I'm happy with my kids, my life really. Just think I married the wrong person for the wrong reason. Didn't really know her. And was thinking of her daugher and our kid more then myself. How can I tell my wife that. Fuch. Thanks everybody

ask her out for coffee...

it's easy, nonthreatening, gives you a chance to talk without too much pressure, and it can seem casual enough to not come off as a date.

(but as others said, be careful, you don't want your work situation to get weird).

Maybe I am emotionally cheating. But I've been married to an emotionally unavailable woman for 5 years now. Maybe she was still in love with her ex baby daddy when he died, and I was just there, I don't know.

@Lyniz: THEN TALK TO HER AND TRY TO FIX THINGS OR END THE RELATIONSHIP. QUIT TRYING TO ACT LIKE ACTING ON THIS OTHER GIRL ISN'T SELFISH. IT IS. IT ALWAYS IS. YOU HAVE A NOBLE WAY OF GOING ABOUT THIS THAT YOU'RE DISMISSING BECAUSE IT'S INCONVENIENT.

@Hizang: Damn, first reply? Good on ya!

Play "Draw something" with her and draw "Want to go out on a date?" and the answer to it can be "Yes".
 
Nothing can go wrong.

You asked what I would do, so this is what I would do: Try and fix the marriage. Get relationship counselling, talk to her, make every effort for the kids.

And for god's sake, you said you're pretty much happy with your life except for your relationship with your wife.

If you ask this girl out and it works, you lose your entire life except for her. Not only that, you'd fuck up your kid's lives and your wife's life. However, if you try to save your marriage and it works, then you literally have EVERYTHING sorted out.

My parents went through a really bad patch when I was younger. My dad was thinking about suicide; my mom was considering divorce. My mom would argue and my dad would just sit there. It was really bad for them, but they pulled the fuck through it and worked it out. I can't even imagine how difficult it would've been for me and my sister if my dad had thrown in the towel.

And consider this: the amount of joy my parents get out of seeing me and my sister swanning about as young adults can just be sickening. They are so damn proud of themselves and of us. So it's not like you don't get anything out of it.

@artgarcrunkle said:

Hey if you're actually an adult who is realposting wait until your kids are out of the house, get a divorce and try not to Benoit your family.

I feel really bad now for laughing at that. thanks.

If it's been this long and you haven't done anything besides play words with friends with her, you're probably friend zoned. Also, office romance is bad. Sorry duder.

This topic entertains me.

@PeasantAbuse said:

Draw a penis in Draw Something.

Works everytime.

Why should the fact that you're in the same office have anything to do with it? Anyway, the two of you seem close now. Let her know how you feel. If she doesn't reciprocate, continue being her friend. Don't get pissed off, and don't force the issue. She could turn in the future. Besides that, there are plenty of other girls out there.

edit: Hmm, you're married. I'm outta here.

@Hizang: First post, good job sir. Good job.

@Lyniz said:

Maybe I am emotionally cheating. But I've been married to an emotionally unavailable woman for 5 years now. Maybe she was still in love with her ex baby daddy when he died, and I was just there, I don't know.

You sound like a piece of shit and a pussy. Get your current relationship under control, leave that relationship to start this new one, or shut the fuck up because all this 'maybe I should maybe I shouldn't I don't know' bull-shit not only makes you sound like a terrible, weak person but it drags your wife through hell because you can't make a decision about your relationship(s). Get your shit together, act like an adult, and stop wasting your time on here hoping someone will do the work for you.

GET THAT SOCIAL LINK!

@Wrighteous86 said:

@Lyniz: THEN TALK TO HER AND TRY TO FIX THINGS OR END THE RELATIONSHIP. QUIT TRYING TO ACT LIKE ACTING ON THIS OTHER GIRL ISN'T SELFISH. IT IS. IT ALWAYS IS. YOU HAVE A NOBLE WAY OF GOING ABOUT THIS THAT YOU'RE DISMISSING BECAUSE IT'S INCONVENIENT.

Wait until you get an easy word in Draw Something like "Red", and write "WANT TO FUCK?" in the colour red. Done.

@Xeiphyer: DTF?

I had a dream last night that you deleted everything on your page and left the site. Like some people we may know. Don't leave me XEI! Idk why I had this dream.

Give it to King moron, if you know what I'm saying. Those damn City kids!!!!!

@Xeiphyer: DTF?

I had a dream last night that you deleted everything on your page and left the site. Like some people we may know. Don't leave me XEI! Idk why I had this dream.

This is the best troll thread ever. White knights, Benoit references, and forced morality. Brilliant! Kudos, OP.

@GunslingerPanda:

Ryan sat at his desk in the little Sausalito offices. The glow of the monitor illuminated his face as he searched the internet for the latest in sports drink technology. He wasn’t particularly excited at the moment just content to be working at a place with good people and good friends. He yawned gently as he struggled to find anything interesting.
Jeff sat next to him in his Herman Miller Aeron Chair. He thought it was comfortable but was really happy with the clean design. At this moment a sudden pang of hunger struck him. He looked around the room.
“We really need a refrigerator down here, yo!” he said in his half mocking, half revering tone. “I’m like starving, dawg!”
“Do you want to just order some pizza or something?” Ryan asked knowing what the answer would be.
“Nah, man we had pizza yesterday. What about that In & Out Burger? You know they got some tasty burgers.”
“Yeah… but I’m not really in the mood for burgers either.”
“Geez, I’m just starving though!” Jeff blurted.
Ryan stared at Jeff. He didn’t know how to sate his friend’s hunger. They’d have these discussions every day and his friend’s picky eating habits were starting to get on his nerves. He decided that he would have to do something a little more forward in order to get the situation under control.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The dark was soothing and seemingly cooled his warm body. In a calm voice he spoke clearly, “Jeff, if you want something to eat. Eat me.”
“Ha! Dude, no seriously, I’m hungry!” Jeff responded.
With his eyes still closed and breathing slowly Ryan raised his voice slightly, “Jeff I don’t want to hear you talking about food anymore. Just eat me. Just fucking eat me.” He drew a large serrated knife from his desk drawer. The long leather wrapped handle was heavy but the balance of the knife was perfectly centered on its hilt.
“Dude! What are you do…”
Before Jeff could finish Ryan plunged the knife with both hands into his abdomen. The sound was dull and moist. Ryan could hear this sickening thud even before he felt the pain. It shot from the wound towards his back and then into his neck. It was excruciating. Warm blood poured down his shirt and dribbled onto the floor. He struggled with the knife to open the wound.
Jeff was stunned. His eyes were impossibly wide and he was listening to the blood pour out of Ryan’s abdomen.
With the knife firmly in his belly he moved both his hands into a palm upward grasp and started sawing the teeth of the blade into his flesh. It was not a smooth motion. The ragged knife cut and tore his fat and the blood was freely flowing onto his hands and pooling onto the carpet.
As Ryan opened the wound up Jeff watched as the yellowish glistening pieces of fat fell to the floor. The rapid pulling thrusts of the knife in flesh sounded like someone was slowly beating an egg. The smell of exposed fat was like that of a freshly opened jar of mayonnaise. When Ryan had torn through about half a foot of his own body he let go of the knife and left it sticking in the bottom of the open wound.
At this point the odor hit Jeff and he realized that Ryan had been screaming. It was a low bellowing noise interrupted with gurgling gasps and brief cries.
Ryan then grasped the edges of his exposed innards and dug his fingers into the subcutaneous fat. He started to pull himself open. His own flesh was warm and slick so he had to bury his hands deeper to get a better hold.
As Ryan tore frantically tore into his own body Jeff could now see the red ragged fibers of muscle as Ryan’s fingers ripped into them. They twitched in concert with Ryans screams and sickened him.
He had opened a hole in his belly enough to expose his abdominal muscles and the fascia intertwined in them. His fingers couldn’t pierce through this barrier though. He pulled the knife that was already buried above his groin and started to saw through the muscle. Because of the large serrations of the knife he had to tug violently to rip through the fascia.
Jeff watched in silence, not realizing that he had held his breath throughout the entire ordeal. Then an even more horrifying vision befell him. Ryan had stopped making human screaming noises and was now just grunting between frantic knife jabs but through the blood and torn flesh Jeff could clearly see loops of bowel starting protrude out of his friend.
Ryan fell to his knees and the sudden impact caused his intestines to pour through the wound. He hadn’t stopped tearing with the knife and pierced through the walls of his small bowel. The spasms of his intestines caused fluid stool to mix with the blood pouring out of Ryan and it smelled like a freshly butchered deer.
The smell was so strong that Jeff’s stomach cramped and he too fell to the floor in front of his eviscerated friend.
At this Ryan whimpered in weakened, breathless gasps but not stopping his disembowelment, “Fucking eat me, dude. Eat that shit.”
Jeff, dazed with horror, grabbed one of Ryan’s torn bowel loops. It convulsed to his touch and was slippery to hold. As he held Ryan’s intestines he could feel the powerful contractions go from one side of his hand to another. He was shocked at this and almost dropped it. The mix of fecal fluids and blood ran down his arms in pulpy threads.
Ryan stared at Jeff. The only noise coming from Ryan’s mouth now was of an impossibly long and low gutteral exhalation.
Jeff tugged on Ryan’s bowels in order to further free them.

@Red12b: One of my favourite pieces of literature.

@GunslingerPanda said:

@Red12b: One of my favourite pieces of literature.

As fanfics go, it's up there with the best of 'em

@Lyniz said:

Wish it was all fake. First off, I'm not gonna cheat, never was trying too. This started as a funny way to vent, but I have actually got some good advice. Got married cuz I got her pregnant like 2 months after meeting her. Getting married seemed like the right thing to do. She changed. I'm not happy. Ready to move on, just looking for a push. Love the kids, just not happy with a decision I made when I was very young and stupid.

Sorry but..no I am not sorry...you made a dumbass decision when you were younger cause you thought with your dick instead of your brain, stop trying to escape the consequences of your actions. You're only looking at your own happiness and how that has declined, which is extremely selfish and self-centered. Time to grow-up and face your problems instead of being the kind of prick that makes a girl pregnant and runs away when the going gets tough, leaving her to deal with the backlash.

I realize that marriage may seem like nothing more than a motion to you, but in reality you promised to be dedicated to the woman you married. This kind of copping out because it's tough is pathetic. You took the vows, you promised to stay with her through hard times and happy times and your life is not unbearable with her nor is there any other reason for a divorce besides "I am unhappy Q_Q". I find it hard to believe you are an adult, you don't even appear to have the wherewithal to go to marriage counseling or talk to..I dunno..your wife about what is creating the problems in your marriage? You created the problem and promised to stay with her. Fix it.

Give her the dick.

Ask her if she wants to have sex with you.

@pyromagnestir said:

Walk her partway home.

I laughed. Hard.