#1 Edited by pinner458 (1063 posts) -

Its happened to me twice in the past week where after meeting with someone for the first time and hanging with them for a while, it comes time for everyone to leave and I reach my hand out to say "yeah cool to meet you or whatever" , just a simple handshake and they try to do something other than a standard handshake. As I reached out I noticed he was actually going for the fist bump which was cool, I caught that in time, but then he tried to segue into some other slidy handy shit and there was no way I could have predicted that, so it was kind of awkward as it always is if a handshake goes wrong.. Shouldn't a firm grip just be the standard, especially if you've never shook hands before, how the fuck am I to know he was going to go into some Turk and JD 10 part shake, I don't know him!

This could inadvertently be the most nerdy post ever but I just don't see how people expect you to predict what they're going to do next in a random handshake...

#2 Posted by htr10 (549 posts) -

I think elaborate handshakes are stupid, unless the other person is specifically going into an elaborate handshake to create an awkward hand exchange, in which case I think it's hilarious. In other words, I like elaborate handshakes when executed ironically. In all other instances, I prefer an awkward waist high wave and quickly leaving a room.

#3 Posted by Zevvion (3134 posts) -

It was already awkward when you told them: 'Yeah, cool to meet you or whatever'.

You were clearly going for the carefree attitude portrayal. Don't blame them for thinking they need to give you an elaborate handshake.

#4 Posted by Fredchuckdave (7736 posts) -

Fantastic in Professional Sports, the more elaborate the better. I don't think much of handshakes in general in regular life.

#5 Posted by pinner458 (1063 posts) -

@zevvion said:

It was already awkward when you told them: 'Yeah, cool to meet you or whatever'.

You were clearly going for the carefree attitude portrayal. Don't blame them for thinking they need to give you an elaborate handshake.

Fuck that man, one or 2 new dudes in a group, you say something to them so they feel welcomed.

#6 Posted by GnomeonFire (907 posts) -

The only solution is to never shake anyone's hand ever again.

#7 Posted by Jesus_Phish (1787 posts) -

They're stupid. Particularly if you're trying to do it and the other person doesn't know how you designed your over elaborate handshake.

#8 Posted by wemibelec90 (2157 posts) -

I think handshakes are for professional situations only. Silly handshakes just look ridiculous.

#9 Posted by DukesT3 (2031 posts) -

Only allowed in the baseball dugout because they are usually fantastic.

#10 Edited by Video_Game_King (36566 posts) -

I'm not even a fan of regular handshakes.

#11 Posted by Slag (5812 posts) -

Up top

down low

side 2 side

chest bump

pound it.

#12 Posted by Splodge (2289 posts) -

Milkshakes on the other hand....

#13 Posted by falserelic (5723 posts) -


#14 Posted by BanzaiBandito (78 posts) -

I don't like elaborate handshakes. I prefer a standard cultural/formal greeting. Regular handshakes are a good way of getting a quick impression of another guy. Hell, you learn something about a person when they go for an complex one.

#15 Posted by oldenglishC (1118 posts) -

A firm handshake lasting no more or no less than 2-4 seconds with direct eye contact. Anybody that doesn't follow those rules can't be trusted.

#16 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (5163 posts) -

Fresh Prince handshake is the only handshake you will need.

#17 Posted by OldGuy (1610 posts) -

They're great. When done right:

Loading Video...

#18 Edited by alwaysbebombing (1866 posts) -

All you need is 'pound it.' We could stop wars if people would just get together and 'pound it.'

I've also ghetto bumped before.

#19 Posted by pinner458 (1063 posts) -

@banzaibandito: Yeah handshakes tell a lot, agreed. The elaborate ones say to me that they're a douche, but maybe that's a bit harsh...

@oldenglishc Firm 2-4 seconds, or not to be trusted, I can easily support that philosophy.

#20 Posted by Ghost_Cat (1564 posts) -

They are totally rad when done correctly. You just lost, brah.

#21 Edited by TheManWithNoPlan (6370 posts) -

I think they're fine as long as both of the participants are able to do them correctly. Otherwise, it can be weird and uncomfortable.

#22 Posted by Lyisa (428 posts) -

Shake hands and hug.

Its not elaborate, its affectionate and warm.

#23 Posted by CaLe (4353 posts) -

Every time I've had to formally handshake with a person they've seemed like they're trying to prove something by squeezing way harder than is necessary. It's really dumb. I just give them a floppy hand and let them deal with it. That's my elaborate handshake, a big old floppy hand.

#24 Posted by Mike (14593 posts) -

If someone tries that shit with me I just take a step back and stop. Shake my hand like a man or not at all.

#25 Posted by MooseyMcMan (12056 posts) -

One time I was in a play, and another actor and I had to make up an elaborate handshake for a scene, and I think we did a good job of making something really stupid that involved more than just shaking our hands.

Aside from that, I'm not big into them.

#26 Posted by devilzrule27 (1242 posts) -

no time for handshakes, im too busy hugging everyone.

#27 Posted by CornBREDX (6772 posts) -

Elaborate handshakes with friends are cool.

Random people you just met deciding to do one is weird. You should have said as much if you didn't "Dude, what the fuck? We just met."

I will fist bump for people (most commonly done because some people are germaphobes, and I totally get it- I am too)

I will do the cool slide your hand around to the wrist handshake

I will do the standard "I am a man and this is my handshake" palm outstretched traditional style.

Don't try mixing in other shit, though. If we don't know each other and haven't planned it out then that's just weird. There's no way I'd "just know" what you're trying to do and it's a lot like trying to get into a woman you just mets apartment. Don't- it's weird!

#28 Posted by pyromagnestir (4391 posts) -

I'm not even a fan of regular handshakes.

This is what I was gonna say. I don't want to give any information to people who would judge me based off how strong or weak my handshake might be.

#29 Edited by HerbieBug (4228 posts) -

I wave from a safe distance. o/

I don't like handshakes at all but elaborate ones I extra dislike. Like the hand clasp and chest bump thing that um, err, is popular amongst... ethnic sorts of people. I don't care for that. >_>


I do know that some men and women will judge a man based on the grip and strength infused in to their handshake. With this knowledge I, at some point, decided that all further handshakes would be a deathgrip on my part. If you're a large man, I will attempt to crush your bones. Fair warning. I do this because nobody thinks anything bad about a person with a firm handshake.

#30 Posted by Clonedzero (4206 posts) -

I hate handshakes.

One, i don't want to touch your filthy hand. I don't know where thats been. I'm not even a germaphobe.

Two, the anxiety and importance people put on handshakes for NO REASON. Grip too firmly and they think you're overaggressive and pushy, don't grip firm enough and people think you're a weak push over. I always realize halfway through the handshake so i give a fairly tame one and then go "oh right this assholes judging me" so then i'll squeeze tight. It's awkward and i hate it.

Three, if you don't shake someones hand they will instantly hate you. Like hate so pure it's like you just stabbed their mother in the throat or something. I accidentally left a dude hanging on a handshake one time because i wasn't paying attention, he apparently held a grudge against me for 5 months!

So yeah, fuck handshakes.

#31 Posted by Godlyawesomeguy (6421 posts) -

Either have it be ironic or no handshake at all.

#32 Edited by theveej (917 posts) -

I always imagine my cool handshakes will look like this:

But they end up looking like this:

#33 Edited by ViciousBearMauling (1651 posts) -

I think they're completely............

#34 Posted by HypnoToadBrwowrowrow (1857 posts) -

The lock-n-pump rules the Northwest. Followed by the lock-n-bump*

*Chest bump

Simple with a touch of flavor

#35 Edited by DeadpanCakes (1113 posts) -

I used to know a couple of people that were fond of the elaborate handshake. It felt rather intuitive and I doubt I looked completely idiotic.

I'm sure this is about comparable to how I looked

#36 Posted by mlarrabee (3275 posts) -

Give me a regular handshake or I won't give you one at all.

On a related note, a family friend of around sixty-five years-of-age inexplicably fist bumped me a few weeks ago, leaving me in stunned bewilderment for a few minutes.

#37 Posted by Draugen (806 posts) -


The only acceptable handshake is a quick shake to show that you both are unarmed, a lingering handshake, if there are cameras on you, and you need to convince the world you don't hate the other person, and finally, putting your left hand on top of the handshake and pulling the other guy close, to whisper a cool threat in his ear, while still having the seance appear amicable. I have spoken. Let's shake on it.

#38 Edited by overnow (439 posts) -

Completely depends on the person and the situation. I stick with normal handshakes most of the time but there are some more casual setting where other types come up. Outside of some awkward first encounter with a new handshake there are generally 3 main types with little differences: the standard shake, the fist bump (which has sort of evolved into a bump using the side of your hand on the pinky side) and the longer hand grab/low 5. Usually I can tell which to give based on how the person offers their hand, while the standard handshake is straight out the grabbing variants are offered with the hand sort of up and, the fingers slightly curved, and the palm turned more towards the person. It's easy enough to adapt to what the person does, like a grab into a fist bump or a grab into a half hug/back pat.

#39 Edited by ajamafalous (12547 posts) -

If both people are in on the joke and doing it ironically (and you are one of the two people) then they're goddamn hilarious.

#40 Posted by Zevvion (3134 posts) -

@banzaibandito: Yeah handshakes tell a lot, agreed. The elaborate ones say to me that they're a douche, but maybe that's a bit harsh...

This is such nonsense though. You're just trying to give a lot of meaning to something that doesn't mean anything. I know some people that value handshakes as well. Whenever they get a 'strong' handshake they somehow 'know' the guy is serious about life and is to be trusted. You're being a bit gullible if you think a certain handshakes means something.

#41 Posted by ProfessorEss (7707 posts) -

I'm for them.

#42 Posted by SharkEthic (1088 posts) -
@lyisa said:

Shake hands and hug.

Its not elaborate, its affectionate and warm.

Don't hug people you don't know, please and thank you.

#43 Posted by HIMSteveO (23 posts) -

The most elaborate I'll remotely consider is what I call the Troy-and-Abed, but even that takes some time to perfect, and I think that only works with like-minded individuals for me (one guy I work with...). A simple handshake, or even some dap (which is surprisingly popular in Australia...), is more than enough.