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Posted by falserelic (5444 posts) 4 months, 21 days ago

Poll: Would you date someone that works at your Job? (361 votes)

If we got something going on then yeah I would. 50%
Never mix business with pleasure, I wouldn't do it 21%
I already have and everything turned out fine 15%
I have and everything went wrong. 14%

So my mom was giving me advice that it was never good to date someone at my job. She basically said if something bad was to happen, that person may put your personal business out in the work place. She said she seen it happen plenty of times at her job.

I was thinking about this because there's two co-workers at my job, and they got into a heated argument. The guy and girl basically was saying things that other people shouldn't know. After witnessing that I defiently wouldn't want to date a chick that works at my job.

#1 Posted by UitDeToekomst (716 posts) -

Depends how attractive she is and how short of a period of time she is likely to work there. If the both of those criteria are responded to with the word "extremely" then, yes, I would.

#2 Edited by mosespippy (4205 posts) -

As it currently stands I'm my only co-worker for a 50km radius. The only co-workers I talk to are the data entry folks at the call center, so that would be weird.

#3 Posted by falserelic (5444 posts) -

Depends how attractive she is and how short of a period of time she is likely to work there. If the both of those criteria are responded to with the word "extremely" then, yes, I would.

For me even though I know it would be best if I don't do it, I could give away to lust. The alpha male within me would probably get thirsty.

#4 Posted by jArmAhead (326 posts) -

Depends on the work environment. If it's somewhere you can be in a relationship and maintain professionalism, sure. If not, then no.

And if you date some brat that spews a bunch of shit to your coworkers because you broke up, you made a mistake at some point, either by going out with a crazy/immature lady or by being a total asshole that deserves it all. If she's crazy, it'll all end up somewhere. It might not be work, but it'll get somewhere you don't' want it no matter where you know her from. And if you're an asshole, well, basically the same thing.

#5 Posted by DeadpanCakes (925 posts) -

No "Tralse?"

Well, I wouldn't know from personal experience, but typically it's frowned upon, right? I'm sure there're some exceptions that worked out okay, but I dunno. It's typically not a good idea to go into these things, convincing yourself that you're an exception. I would assume that work environment and the type of individuals partaking in the relationship are probably the biggest factors with this.

#6 Posted by Nightriff (5096 posts) -

I have and while it didn't turn out terrible or anything, it wasn't fine either. It was just... weird to be around her and that was all on me... didn't help that a year after we broke up we were hanging out as we began talking over the previous months and we ended up having sex and then never really talked again, again that was on me so I'm sure she felt used and was pissed after that (think she thought we were getting back together where I just wanted friends + benefits).

You know what, after reviewing this, don't date someone you work with unless you know you can keep it cool between you two no matter what happens. FYI this is never the case so don't do it.

#7 Edited by Pezen (1612 posts) -

There are so many couples at my job that met there it's almost scary. It's like everyone is suffering from Stockholm's syndrome and need to find other people in the same situation. Hell, people have even broken up and ended up together with other people at the job. In general, I agree though with the idea that it's probably healthy to not work at the same job if only to make it easier to not bring your job with you home. I, like a lot of people at my job, met my wife there. And while we work at the same company, at least we work in different areas of production under different bosses. But that only goes so far. We've even sat down and had rules regarding work related talk so that we actually don't bring it with us home to such an insane degree it might otherwise become.

But ideally, I wish we didn't work at the same job. Hopefully we'll both find our way out of that dead end place eventually and end up in different places down the line. But right now, it is what it is.

#8 Edited by fisk0 (4167 posts) -

I don't know, I know that a couple of people on my job are together (one of them even with the bosses' daughter, who also works at the same place), and as you observe, I think that could get pretty awkward if/when they break up. Statistically though, don't most people meet their partners through their work or study?

Online
#9 Posted by golguin (3940 posts) -

If you don't care about your job then you can do whatever you want. If you care about your job then don't get involved with anyone at work.

#10 Posted by James_ex_machina (905 posts) -

Everyone is different... I did it and it was a disaster. Wouldn't recommend it.

I work for someone that according to rumor was involved with a higher up. Everyone judges this person based on the rumors. I heard these rumors for 6 years till the person became my boss, that's when I learned this person deserved their position of authority and deserved respect. This person did not get to their position because of any possible relations with a higher up. Although I can see my boss is incredible at their job, others still act like they got the position because of the subject of rumors.

#11 Posted by falserelic (5444 posts) -

Depends on the work environment. If it's somewhere you can be in a relationship and maintain professionalism, sure. If not, then no.

And if you date some brat that spews a bunch of shit to your coworkers because you broke up, you made a mistake at some point, either by going out with a crazy/immature lady or by being a total asshole that deserves it all. If she's crazy, it'll all end up somewhere. It might not be work, but it'll get somewhere you don't' want it no matter where you know her from. And if you're an asshole, well, basically the same thing.

In the work environment I'm at their some good looking women. Hell, I have a perverted co-worker who always makes a comment about women. He'll check them out then comes to me and gives his personal thoughts about her. Some of the shit coming out of his mouth have me dying laughing sometimes. Though I got no right to judge him because I can be perverted too in my own way. I'm just not as bad as he is, I'll check a girl out and most of the time keep it to myself. He would do the samething except he feels the need to tell someone.

#12 Posted by wjb (1665 posts) -

I fooled around with co-workers on occasion when I was younger because I kind of knew when they were interested in the same thing.

Then maybe five years ago I bumped into someone who I thought wanted the same thing I did, but didn't. It became this huge mess because she also got her ex-boyfriend involved and others thought it was some dramatic love triangle when it wasn't. She got pregnant shortly after getting back with her ex (he wasn't pleased, and began to cheat on her regularly and refused to be the father or pay child support once the child was born). It wasn't that big of a deal, but I occasionally had to put up with bitterness, passive-aggressiveness, and rumor-spreading every now and then. She eventually got transferred because a lot of people were fed up with her.

Sometimes people aren't themselves when you first meet them.

I kind of stopped after that. It would have to be someone really amazing for me to reconsider.

#13 Posted by jArmAhead (326 posts) -

@jarmahead said:

Depends on the work environment. If it's somewhere you can be in a relationship and maintain professionalism, sure. If not, then no.

And if you date some brat that spews a bunch of shit to your coworkers because you broke up, you made a mistake at some point, either by going out with a crazy/immature lady or by being a total asshole that deserves it all. If she's crazy, it'll all end up somewhere. It might not be work, but it'll get somewhere you don't' want it no matter where you know her from. And if you're an asshole, well, basically the same thing.

In the work environment I'm at their some good looking women. Hell, I have a perverted co-worker who always makes a comment about women. He'll check them out then comes to me and gives his personal thoughts about her. Some of the shit coming out of his mouth have me dying laughing sometimes. Though I got no right to judge him because I can be perverted too in my own way. I'm just not as bad as he is, I'll check a girl out and most of the time keep it to myself. He would do the samething except he feels the need to tell someone.

I meant more like, do you work in a structured environment with a strong hierarchy or a more casual setting, but... alright.

If you do it, do it with a mature person, as a mature person; do it openly (to avoid rumors); and don't be a terrible person. When you can make it work, having someone that close by can be awesome if you aren't the type that needs a ton of space.

Or ya know, just make it a casual fling so there's no chance of shit hitting the fan. Unless, once again, it's a crazy person who is going to use it against you. I slept with a girl I work with, shortly after she got a boyfriend and we are still awesome friends. In fact, she's one of the reasons I like working where I work as much as I do, along with some other good friends. Hell even her boyfriend and I get along well enough (even if he kinda bugs me for being just sorta mushy (not romantically either) and weird) even though she had been seeing both of us a bit before she decided to go steady with him.
And I get to be protective whenever dumb asses and creeps hit on her at work, which is always fun.

It doesn't always have to go to shit, you just have to be smart about it. Any relationship can go to shit, it's just about how you avoid that happening. For me, it's been pretty a-ok. Got some good sex, maintained a great friend, and as a result have the added energy and enthusiasm that has been getting me a lot of attention at work. I made it work for me, and anyone can do the same.

#14 Edited by falserelic (5444 posts) -

@jarmahead said:

@falserelic said:

@jarmahead said:

Depends on the work environment. If it's somewhere you can be in a relationship and maintain professionalism, sure. If not, then no.

And if you date some brat that spews a bunch of shit to your coworkers because you broke up, you made a mistake at some point, either by going out with a crazy/immature lady or by being a total asshole that deserves it all. If she's crazy, it'll all end up somewhere. It might not be work, but it'll get somewhere you don't' want it no matter where you know her from. And if you're an asshole, well, basically the same thing.

In the work environment I'm at their some good looking women. Hell, I have a perverted co-worker who always makes a comment about women. He'll check them out then comes to me and gives his personal thoughts about her. Some of the shit coming out of his mouth have me dying laughing sometimes. Though I got no right to judge him because I can be perverted too in my own way. I'm just not as bad as he is, I'll check a girl out and most of the time keep it to myself. He would do the samething except he feels the need to tell someone.

I meant more like, do you work in a structured environment with a strong hierarchy or a more casual setting, but... alright.

If you do it, do it with a mature person, as a mature person; do it openly (to avoid rumors); and don't be a terrible person. When you can make it work, having someone that close by can be awesome if you aren't the type that needs a ton of space.

Or ya know, just make it a casual fling so there's no chance of shit hitting the fan. Unless, once again, it's a crazy person who is going to use it against you. I slept with a girl I work with, shortly after she got a boyfriend and we are still awesome friends. In fact, she's one of the reasons I like working where I work as much as I do, along with some other good friends. Hell even her boyfriend and I get along well enough (even if he kinda bugs me for being just sorta mushy (not romantically either) and weird) even though she had been seeing both of us a bit before she decided to go steady with him.

And I get to be protective whenever dumb asses and creeps hit on her at work, which is always fun.

It doesn't always have to go to shit, you just have to be smart about it. Any relationship can go to shit, it's just about how you avoid that happening. For me, it's been pretty a-ok. Got some good sex, maintained a great friend, and as a result have the added energy and enthusiasm that has been getting me a lot of attention at work. I made it work for me, and anyone can do the same.

Like a user was saying on this thread. I wouldn't mind just having friends with benefits. I just don't have the patience of being in a relationship. Having sex with no strings attach sounds fucking fantastic, but I just don't see a relationship working out with me. From what I've seen love can turn into hatred. You may be in love with someone for a moment, but overtime you'll probably grow tired of that person. Then, next thing you know you'll probably want to seek something new and fresh. After that hearts will be broken.

#15 Posted by DoctorDonkey (295 posts) -

No. I don't shit where I eat.

#16 Edited by hunterob (95 posts) -

I'm in this weird spot now where I like this girl who may or may not have a thing with the boss's grandson. I think she's an incredible and doesn't realize it, which is probably why she's staying with this immature scumbag who only speaks in regurgitated reddit memes and rape jokes. Maybe there's nothing I can do, and it constantly bothers me when I'm around either of them because I think there's something really special about her. It's created a lot of weird tension for me in a job that I never planned to take seriously.

#17 Posted by SpoogeMcduck (191 posts) -

Nope, done it and it wasn't good. Turns out being apart is a good thing, being around someone all day and at night just gets boring fast

#18 Edited by falserelic (5444 posts) -

@hunterob said:

I'm in this weird spot now where I like this girl who may or may not have a thing with the boss's grandson. I think she's an incredible and doesn't realize it, which is probably why she's staying with this immature scumbag who only speaks in regurgitated reddit memes and rape jokes. Maybe there's nothing I can do, and it constantly bothers me when I'm around either of them because I think there's something really special about her. It's created a lot of weird tension for me in a job that I never planned to take seriously.

To me it sounds like you really want some suga-walls. I can get that way too sometimes.

#19 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

I'm married to her.

#20 Posted by SoldierG654342 (1770 posts) -

My parents met when my Dad hired my Mom and I meet my girlfriend of two years at my current job. My parents still work for the same company (and are back in the same office now after several years) and me and my grilfreind both still work at the same place (though that's going to change in a few months).

I guess the moral of my story is don't date where you work. Only hook up if you think there's actually something there that'll last.

#21 Edited by falserelic (5444 posts) -

I'm married to her.

Hear that my GB friends, the king has spoken.

#22 Posted by ShaggE (6472 posts) -

Sure.

#23 Edited by DeadpanCakes (925 posts) -

@shagge: Haha, I see what you did there

#24 Edited by ShaggE (6472 posts) -

@shagge: Haha, I see what you did there

But which one's the reeeeeeaaaaal answer?

#25 Posted by HatKing (5973 posts) -

It all depends. People like to point fingers at all sorts of shit when hearts break. But, if a relationship doesn't work out, it wasn't because you got your paycheck from the same company. It's very possible that your coworkers will hear things about you if you're dating somebody you work with. I mean, people like to talk to their friends about relationship woes, and if that person dates people they work with, certainly they're friends with people that they work with. But this isn't any different than an out of the workplace relationship. Your ex is still going to talk with their friends. People will still hear the very worst parts of your relationship. People that you don't really even know will probably dislike you because their friend got hurt by you. The only real difference is that you'll be getting paid when you inevitably run into these people. I don't know about the rest of the people on here, but people I date tend to share some of my hobbies, favorite bars, favorites restaurants, live in the same town. It's not like you're not ever going to run into an ex just because you don't work together.

I guess I just don't see the big deal. As long as you can compose yourself professionally in the face of the stresses of a relationship, then it shouldn't be a problem.

#26 Posted by Slag (4450 posts) -

I wouldn't unless I worked in a huge corp and she worked in a different division.

It's high risk situation with little positives, workplace relationships when they go bad can go super bad. Ruin your entire professional bad. I've seen lives destroyed by them.

Not too mention even when they go well you run the risk of resentment from other co-workers.

#27 Posted by CaLe (3995 posts) -

I only do online relationships because then I don't have to make eye contact or smell their wretchedness. Highly recommended.

#28 Posted by BigJeffrey (5021 posts) -

Sure why not

#29 Edited by Generic_username (612 posts) -

I don't see that much of a problem with it. Why give up the possibility of a good thing over something so small as "we work at the same place"? That's like saying you'll never date someone taller/shorter than you. I mean, it's something that maybe you would avoid, but if the person in particular seems great in all other aspects, it's a really stupid reason not to date someone.

#30 Posted by falserelic (5444 posts) -

@cale said:

I only do online relationships because then I don't have to make eye contact or smell their wretchedness. Highly recommended.

For me I don't know about that. Personally I would rather have a ''body party'' with some chick. I want to be that soldier in the frontlines. That warrior that goes up against a army by himself and still loses. I want to show people I have courage and fear at the sametime. I want to be that guy who doesn't know wtf that he got himself into.

#31 Edited by Nasar7 (2703 posts) -

A career-type job? No. A fellow server/barista? Go for it.

#32 Posted by Clonedzero (4200 posts) -

Yeah probably.

If it goes bad, it goes bad, Whatever.

#33 Posted by Getz (3028 posts) -

Don't shit where you eat, guys.

#34 Posted by Vuud (2012 posts) -

@getz said:

Don't shit where you eat, guys.

I came here just to post that. Solid advice.

#35 Edited by Nux (2364 posts) -

Normally I would never mix my professional life with my personal life but new girl started working with me and her and I have so much in common. Her and I spend hours at work talking about all sorts of things and things just feel right every time I'm around her. So yeah, I guess I would date a co-worker.

#36 Edited by Karkarov (3133 posts) -

As long as it is co worker and not one is supervisor over the other? Then yes. My job is very straight forward, me having a relationship with a co worker would have absolutely no bearing on my ability to do my job.

#37 Edited by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

I don't date.

The only way I can imagine I'd meet someone and get to know them and try to date is if I saw and interacted with them somewhat regularly for some reason. Like, say, if we worked together. So sure.

@video_game_king said:

I'm married to her.

What's the queen have to say about that?

#38 Edited by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@video_game_king said:

I'm married to her.

What's the queen have to say about that?

About what? She was on board with the marriage, if you're implying anything.

#39 Edited by falserelic (5444 posts) -

I don't date.

The only way I can imagine I'd meet someone and get to know them and try to date is if I worked with them, and thus saw and interacted with them somewhat regularly for some reason. Like, say, if we worked together. So sure.

@video_game_king said:

I'm married to her.

What's the queen have to say about that?

I bet the king be just like the guy in this vid towards her.

#40 Posted by SomeDeliCook (2341 posts) -

Not only am I married, but my wife works at my job, so no, I don't think I would try to date anyone there.

In seriousness though, I would like to think I wouldn't hookup with anyone at work. There's too much drama that could easily buildup from nothing, and hanging out with coworkers is something I try to avoid (besides one or two)

#41 Posted by Hailinel (24966 posts) -

Don't dip your quill in the company ink.

Online
#42 Edited by crimsinf (144 posts) -

In my case, I would consider dating someone in a completely different division of the organization than I'm in. Technical integrity is a core value in my line of work, though, so I would never consider dating someone I might ever have to interact with in an official capacity. That introduces some possibility of compromising the product, which is unacceptable.

My problem is more that I work as an engineer, so there aren't exactly a lot of available women in my office.

#43 Posted by pyromagnestir (4324 posts) -

@pyromagnestir said:

@video_game_king said:

I'm married to her.

What's the queen have to say about that?

About what? She was on board with the marriage, if you're implying anything.

Not implying nothing. Just asking her opinion. I was curious.

#44 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

@pyromagnestir:

She doesn't have a Giant Bomb account, as far as I'm aware. Not many Lunarians do.

#45 Posted by ripelivejam (4054 posts) -

i shit where i want don't tell me where to shit i thought this was murica

#46 Edited by falserelic (5444 posts) -

@hailinel said:

Don't dip your quill in the company ink.

LOL! there's afew co-workers at my job who wants to bang a supervisor. At first I heard rumors about her of people saying she was hot. I didn't know what she look like until I saw a hot looking lady wearing a supervisor uniform. At that moment I knew exactly what my fellow co-workers was talking about. If anyone stares at her too long they'll probably get an instant boner, that's how much power she has.

#47 Posted by SSully (4199 posts) -

I did. While it wasn't horrible, I don't think I would do it again.

#48 Posted by bobafettjm (1504 posts) -

I in fact have been married to someone I met at work for 8 years now, and we both still work together.

#49 Posted by hunterob (95 posts) -

@hunterob said:

I'm in this weird spot now where I like this girl who may or may not have a thing with the boss's grandson. I think she's an incredible and doesn't realize it, which is probably why she's staying with this immature scumbag who only speaks in regurgitated reddit memes and rape jokes. Maybe there's nothing I can do, and it constantly bothers me when I'm around either of them because I think there's something really special about her. It's created a lot of weird tension for me in a job that I never planned to take seriously.

To me it sounds like you really want some suga-walls. I can get that way too sometimes.

Nah I straight up wanna date this girl. If all I wanted was pussy, there's another girl I work with who I imagine would be pretty easy to get that from. She's hot, but I'm not looking for that kinda girl. I want real connection. Romance.

I should probably be looking outside my workplace anyways. I see merit in a lot of these points people are bringing up against it - but personally, I'm in a spot where all I really do right now is work, and I can't see an easy way for me to meet girls otherwise for at least 4 months. In college.

#50 Posted by Marz (5654 posts) -

not uncommon to fall in love with someone you spend alot of time with, be it work, school, etc.