I always feel that I get social anxiety during this time of the year. I recently went with a friend to her family's thanksgiving celebration. I ended up leaving and walking home, even though she drove us there, due to me just needing to escape that atmosphere. Do you guys get social anxiety? How do you handle it?
Everyday in College pretty much. Wanting to make friends but not being able to relate to anyone kind of sucks. Whenever I'm in a group and people start talking about stuff I can't really add to, it makes me feel awkward. College life is all about the partying, and I don't do any of that shit so I get left out of everything.
Dude I've been dealing with social anxiety the last fucking 5 or 6 years and it fucking sucks. But I have become more aware of my issue, and that alone has helped a lot, and I have also been able to tell my parents and some other people how I felt these last years and that helped a bit.
Talking about it with someone you know and trust actually helps.
I used to like crazy. Now I don't really care about anything so it doesn't happen too often anymore. When I started my job a year and a bit back my coworkers all said I was too shy and they forced me to be not shy and now I no longer have that problem. I used to always worry everyone would judge me but I've realized most people don't actually care and are more worried about how they are perceived, and that those who do judge are usually not worth my time anyway.
While I have never been diagnosed, I'm pretty sure I have some degree of this. I definitely have the irrational feeling of "oh god how is the best way get out of here" occasionally when I am talking to people. I am also super sensitive to thinking I am getting in the way of people, and that they don't really want me there.
Something tells me you're going to find a lot of people suffering from social anxiety on a videogame website. I think that's part of why so many of us play a lot of videogames.
I definitely get it every so often, it'll make me randomly cancel plans and be unable to leave the house for a day or two. Its really shitty and usually completely unwarranted. I don't really get it when I'm out at places, but only when I'm home and am thinking about going out. Its tough and most times I just try really hard to force myself to go and then once I'm there its totally fine and I'll have fun. Definitely helps to have friends that guilt trip and force me to go.
Yep. It fucking sucks, but lately I've been managing it a lot better. The thing to remember is that what you're thinking is not rational and it helps to put yourself outside of your comfort zone. I know that sounds like the worst advice ever, but it really helps. Just start with the small things and build up from there. It also helps to talk about it with someone you trust. You'd be surprised at how many people feel the same way about things such as anxiety.
Pretty much this. It's not just in person for me either. Talking on the phone, talking online, it even took me two years after registering for this site before I even made my first post. I'm usually pretty quiet when I play games online until I've played with people for awhile. Things are getting a little easier but it is pretty slow going.
Hmm, wouldn't a precursor to social anxiety be a desire to socialize in the first place? Maybe that's why I don't get it. I get other kinds of anxiety, like worrying about future events that may or may not happen.
The bolded part is pretty much exactly the source of social anxiety. We don't know how other people will react to our attempts at socializing so we come up with all the worst case scenarios and psych ourselves out. 'I want to talk to this person, but what if I come off as a creep or just totally embarrass myself?' That sort of thing.
Watch simple pickup. Those guys go out looking like total dorks and DGAF about who sees. I have SA also, but have worked on myself so it is not as bad as it used to be.
@wjb: No. I told my friend I had to take a walk. And then when I got home I told her that I walked home.
Yeah, no offense, but that's pretty bad. Hopefully your friend understood?
I wish I could offer any advice, but I suppose professionals would know better.
Originally, I started developing anxiety once I moved from a small time town in upstate New York to a suburb of a major city in the South at age 9. I was pretty sheltered, and wasn't ready for all the kids regularly cursing and getting into trouble. I had issues until college. It was an opportunity to start over because everyone was out of their comfort zones like me. I didn't want to be alone on the weekends anymore like in high school, so I did whatever I could to prevent it from happening during college. I didn't want my entire young life to be in a bedroom/dorm room by myself.
Interestingly enough, though, I like being alone years later. I made a lot of friends, but people are kind of assholes and I get tired of dealing with them. I never had the "core group of friends" that I could always depend on like in the movies.
I've been living with it for about about a decade, probably longer. It was severe for a long while (with a good dash of depression too) but I got a handle on it over the last 4 or so years. Sadly it's acting up at the moment, due to circumstance.
For those suggesting alcohol, it can help but it's real easy for that to spiral out of control and end up being a regret in hindsight.
I tend to find analysing what you keep imagining most to see the root of the anxiety helps, as well as trying to throw yourself into the deep end every so often to build up your nerves. Never feel ashamed of just jumping ship if you need it though. Music helps stabilise my nerves when I'm traveling to and from those moments too.
Also if you have a close friend you can tell about it helps heaps, especially if they are also there, they can act as a life raft if you need to chill out but want to stay, can cover for you if you want to leave and talk you down from the dreaded moments you imagine. I will admit that requires a good bit of courage in the first place and isn't always possible though.
This felt apt though.
I don't think I've ever had really bad social anxiety. Certainly not to the extent in this thread. For me, the thing with anxiety is that it usually wasn't even a big deal. It was the process of realizing that I've been in far worse situation with all sorts of colorful jerks, and I could handle it. So it basically came down to confidence and that's when having someone with you really helps.
Nope, I can't say that I do. I do get incredibly lazy some times when I have to meet people I don't really care to know.
pretty much the same with me now. Sometime it's exhausting in a group of people. I just don't care, and they have the dumbest shit to talk about. Sure man, tell me more about your boring ass job and semi-feral spoiled children.
anxiety, nah, not anymore. more just boredom and general apathy. It's still nice meeting genuinely nice people, maybe who like to exchange filthy jokes or talk about common interests. It just seems so many people only have kids + work going on in their lives and that's it.