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#1 Posted by AcidBrandon18 (695 posts) -

I always feel that I get social anxiety during this time of the year. I recently went with a friend to her family's thanksgiving celebration. I ended up leaving and walking home, even though she drove us there, due to me just needing to escape that atmosphere. Do you guys get social anxiety? How do you handle it?

#2 Edited by Video_Game_King (36012 posts) -

All the fucking time.

#3 Posted by Ezakael (911 posts) -

Everyday in College pretty much. Wanting to make friends but not being able to relate to anyone kind of sucks. Whenever I'm in a group and people start talking about stuff I can't really add to, it makes me feel awkward. College life is all about the partying, and I don't do any of that shit so I get left out of everything.

#4 Edited by Yummylee (21254 posts) -

<-- Never not social-anxiety'ing.

#6 Edited by how92 (20 posts) -

My family thanksgiving is happening at my house right now and I've slipped away to my room. Hopefully no one will notice or come looking for me.

#7 Posted by GnomeonFire (696 posts) -

I used to, not so much anymore.

#8 Edited by SunBroZak (1017 posts) -
#9 Edited by Emoney244 (153 posts) -

Sigh yes..

#10 Edited by CaLe (3911 posts) -

Hmm, wouldn't a precursor to social anxiety be a desire to socialize in the first place? Maybe that's why I don't get it. I get other kinds of anxiety, like worrying about future events that may or may not happen.

#11 Edited by Everyones_A_Critic (6287 posts) -

Alcohol helps, just don't let that (or other stuff) become a crutch you need to depend on to appear confident and relaxed. Being funny helps.

#12 Edited by Castiel (2528 posts) -

Dude I've been dealing with social anxiety the last fucking 5 or 6 years and it fucking sucks. But I have become more aware of my issue, and that alone has helped a lot, and I have also been able to tell my parents and some other people how I felt these last years and that helped a bit.

Talking about it with someone you know and trust actually helps.

#13 Posted by Ben_H (3311 posts) -

I used to like crazy. Now I don't really care about anything so it doesn't happen too often anymore. When I started my job a year and a bit back my coworkers all said I was too shy and they forced me to be not shy and now I no longer have that problem. I used to always worry everyone would judge me but I've realized most people don't actually care and are more worried about how they are perceived, and that those who do judge are usually not worth my time anyway.

#14 Posted by GERALTITUDE (2923 posts) -

Yeah, but that was before I realized most humans were just ants for me to crush.

Wait, no, sorry that's not right. Yeah. Society makes me anxious.

<.<

>.>

#15 Posted by Levius (1076 posts) -

While I have never been diagnosed, I'm pretty sure I have some degree of this. I definitely have the irrational feeling of "oh god how is the best way get out of here" occasionally when I am talking to people. I am also super sensitive to thinking I am getting in the way of people, and that they don't really want me there.

#16 Posted by Clonedzero (4091 posts) -
#17 Posted by wjb (1638 posts) -

Never so bad where I leave an invited gathering involving someone's family on a holiday. I suppose you do what you got to do, but hopefully you properly said goodbye, right?

#19 Posted by Vuud (1943 posts) -

Alcohol is a cheap and effective cure for that.

#20 Posted by Carryboy (630 posts) -
#21 Edited by ikilledthedj (279 posts) -
#22 Posted by Nadril (523 posts) -

People with social anxiety? On GiantBomb?

Never.

#23 Posted by Xeiphyer (5595 posts) -

Something tells me you're going to find a lot of people suffering from social anxiety on a videogame website. I think that's part of why so many of us play a lot of videogames.

I definitely get it every so often, it'll make me randomly cancel plans and be unable to leave the house for a day or two. Its really shitty and usually completely unwarranted. I don't really get it when I'm out at places, but only when I'm home and am thinking about going out. Its tough and most times I just try really hard to force myself to go and then once I'm there its totally fine and I'll have fun. Definitely helps to have friends that guilt trip and force me to go.

#24 Posted by LeYcH (216 posts) -

I don't say anything on a typical school/college day.
Like, literally not a single word.
People thought I was mute until I took drama in Year 10.

#25 Posted by Rhombus_Of_Terror (2089 posts) -

I got turned down by the NHS for help, go figure. I kind of don't want to deal with them any longer and live with it myself. But hi there!

#26 Edited by DonutFever (3550 posts) -

Absolutely.

#27 Posted by Breadfan (6589 posts) -

Yep. It fucking sucks, but lately I've been managing it a lot better. The thing to remember is that what you're thinking is not rational and it helps to put yourself outside of your comfort zone. I know that sounds like the worst advice ever, but it really helps. Just start with the small things and build up from there. It also helps to talk about it with someone you trust. You'd be surprised at how many people feel the same way about things such as anxiety.

#28 Posted by AcidBrandon18 (695 posts) -

@wjb: No. I told my friend I had to take a walk. And then when I got home I told her that I walked home.

#29 Posted by Kidavenger (3510 posts) -

1 time, at a xmas party... I don't know if it was that or just because I just didn't want to be there at all.

I usually just don't even care enough to get worked up about it.

#30 Posted by EternalVigil (239 posts) -
#31 Posted by Buneroid (428 posts) -

Not, like, clinically or anything but yeah. Currently unemployed, applying for jobs is an absolute fucking nightmare that makes me just want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

This is true.

#32 Edited by Fallen189 (4941 posts) -

No because I'm confident with my life

#33 Posted by Vanick (318 posts) -

All the fucking time.

Pretty much this. It's not just in person for me either. Talking on the phone, talking online, it even took me two years after registering for this site before I even made my first post. I'm usually pretty quiet when I play games online until I've played with people for awhile. Things are getting a little easier but it is pretty slow going.

#34 Edited by Encephalon (1240 posts) -

Absolutely. It's the worst during the holidays, when it's harder to find excuses to leave people's company. Hang in there, duder.

#35 Posted by ShadowSkill11 (1783 posts) -

No. Its easy to analyze people and adapt (short term) or control (long term).

#36 Posted by Scrawnto (2434 posts) -

@cale said:

Hmm, wouldn't a precursor to social anxiety be a desire to socialize in the first place? Maybe that's why I don't get it. I get other kinds of anxiety, like worrying about future events that may or may not happen.

The bolded part is pretty much exactly the source of social anxiety. We don't know how other people will react to our attempts at socializing so we come up with all the worst case scenarios and psych ourselves out. 'I want to talk to this person, but what if I come off as a creep or just totally embarrass myself?' That sort of thing.

#38 Posted by Video_Game_King (36012 posts) -

@scrawnto:

Actually, mine's much more like this. Essentially, people are supreme assholes waiting to shut you down and make you feel like shit at the slightest provocation.

#39 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4330 posts) -

Yup, I've gotten better at ignoring it though because most of the time the thoughts that cause that shit were making mountains out of molehills in the first place.

#40 Posted by Par1val (9 posts) -
#41 Edited by wjb (1638 posts) -

@wjb: No. I told my friend I had to take a walk. And then when I got home I told her that I walked home.

Yeah, no offense, but that's pretty bad. Hopefully your friend understood?

I wish I could offer any advice, but I suppose professionals would know better.

Originally, I started developing anxiety once I moved from a small time town in upstate New York to a suburb of a major city in the South at age 9. I was pretty sheltered, and wasn't ready for all the kids regularly cursing and getting into trouble. I had issues until college. It was an opportunity to start over because everyone was out of their comfort zones like me. I didn't want to be alone on the weekends anymore like in high school, so I did whatever I could to prevent it from happening during college. I didn't want my entire young life to be in a bedroom/dorm room by myself.

Interestingly enough, though, I like being alone years later. I made a lot of friends, but people are kind of assholes and I get tired of dealing with them. I never had the "core group of friends" that I could always depend on like in the movies.

#42 Posted by TheManWithNoPlan (5235 posts) -

All the fucking time.

The exact phrase that came out of my mouth when I saw the thread title.

#43 Edited by insane_shadowblade85 (1389 posts) -

Nope, I can't say that I do. I do get incredibly lazy some times when I have to meet people I don't really care to know.

#44 Edited by AcidBrandon18 (695 posts) -

@wjb: Yeah. She was fine with it. She is a really close friend who'd understand.

#45 Posted by xyzygy (9893 posts) -

Yep. I am on pills for it and it helps like 500% when I found the right one. I can actually semi function now :)

#46 Posted by GnuStylo (23 posts) -

@three0nefive: Oh man this is me right now. I'm fine once I get to know people and my comfort levels increase a bit but that initial interview is just terror.

#47 Posted by Peakborn (54 posts) -

I've been living with it for about about a decade, probably longer. It was severe for a long while (with a good dash of depression too) but I got a handle on it over the last 4 or so years. Sadly it's acting up at the moment, due to circumstance.

For those suggesting alcohol, it can help but it's real easy for that to spiral out of control and end up being a regret in hindsight.

I tend to find analysing what you keep imagining most to see the root of the anxiety helps, as well as trying to throw yourself into the deep end every so often to build up your nerves. Never feel ashamed of just jumping ship if you need it though. Music helps stabilise my nerves when I'm traveling to and from those moments too.

Also if you have a close friend you can tell about it helps heaps, especially if they are also there, they can act as a life raft if you need to chill out but want to stay, can cover for you if you want to leave and talk you down from the dreaded moments you imagine. I will admit that requires a good bit of courage in the first place and isn't always possible though.

This felt apt though.

#48 Posted by IamTerics (405 posts) -

I don't think I've ever had really bad social anxiety. Certainly not to the extent in this thread. For me, the thing with anxiety is that it usually wasn't even a big deal. It was the process of realizing that I've been in far worse situation with all sorts of colorful jerks, and I could handle it. So it basically came down to confidence and that's when having someone with you really helps.

Online
#49 Posted by tourgen (4427 posts) -

Nope, I can't say that I do. I do get incredibly lazy some times when I have to meet people I don't really care to know.

pretty much the same with me now. Sometime it's exhausting in a group of people. I just don't care, and they have the dumbest shit to talk about. Sure man, tell me more about your boring ass job and semi-feral spoiled children.

anxiety, nah, not anymore. more just boredom and general apathy. It's still nice meeting genuinely nice people, maybe who like to exchange filthy jokes or talk about common interests. It just seems so many people only have kids + work going on in their lives and that's it.

#50 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5806 posts) -

Yes, and it's horrible. I don't know what I'm going to do now that I'm about to graduate from college since I get so uncomfortable around other people.

I've thought about talking to someone about it but I don't know what good it will do.