...and i'll tell you something, they weren't lying when they said Fuck Quest.
oh my god, I know it's a DOS game, but O LAWD it was awful. as the sick bastard I am, of course i had to laugh at some of the jokes in this game.
I was greeted by a bright title screen with the words "FUCK QUEST" in crude, pink letters that looked like they were drawn in
in paint. the game started off with my character (named Richard) saying that if he doesn't get pussy, he's going to explode!! O NOEZ!! i'm not sure if they were serious that i was going to actually explode if i didn't get some, but it's convincing enough.
the first thing i notice is that my character walks....very slowly... it takes forever to get around this small town.
the gameplay is very simple, your goal is to seduce some woman by getting objects (such as smokes, a Brad Pitt mask and other things) and bringing them to her, for example, if i get guitar, i'll have to play it for her. simple enough, you use commands like "Talk" and "Use". nothing new here.
that's pretty much the entire game. the game does have that typical sex humor that you'd expect from a game called...well... FUCK QUEST. at one point, some old hobo is sitting on the sidewalk masturbating to a billboard or some woman laying down on the beach...which i actually laughed at. you also see some bizarre things like a prostitute having sex with someone in broad daylight on a bench, and a clerk in a store masturbating to porn on the screen.
eventually, you're rewarded after all your hard work and now you finally get to bone this chick. exciting!
I was greeted by this chick asking me what position i wanted to f*ck her in, i didn't really give a shit, so i just chose one.
at this point, i have no idea what the hell is going on, until i realise that i'm in control of a floating penis. i have to...well..penetrate this chick with my floating penis for about 5 minutes straight.
by doing this, i reached 69 points, thus beating the game. a big colorful screen flashed apon me. it was an image of a giant penis ejaculating on my screen, signifying that i got pussy and beat the game.
overall, Fuck Quest is a game about fucking, and that's all you need to know about it. my thoughts on Fuck Quest?
it's awful and a waste of anyone's time. back then it might of been something like today's Sexy Beach 3, but today it's just a crude, crazy game that can kill about 5 mins of your time.
please, NEVER play Fuck Quest.
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