Perk 1:      Holy Joe Meltdown 
Player gets a speed boost and increased health but looses accuracy and screams Bible verses with each successful kill.
 
Perk 2:     Vision of Death
Makes nearby enemies the enemies see fake kill-cams of their own death.
 
Perk 3:     Meso Hony
Enemies love you long time, hesitate to pull the trigger.

Perk: Mind Bullets
Description: That's telekinesis Kyle!

2 fucking claymores

Perk: Octocamo

" 2 fucking claymores "

Perk 1: The Force.
 Must I explain?

Perk 2: Bufu
 Casts light Ice damage upon your opponents.
 
Perk 3: Boob Strike
 Boob strike harms opponents vision by make him grow massive boobies, and also slows down their speed.

Perk: I'm CONSTANTLY Oscar Mike
Player can't stop moving, but never can be hit by call ins

 
@dbz1995 said:

"  Perk 2: Bufu  Casts light Ice damage upon your opponents.  Perk 3: Boob Strike  Boob strike harms opponents vision by make him grow massive boobies, and also slows down their speed. "

Perk 1: Space Neon Lobsters
Description: Causes team to actually work cooperatively.

Cross Dresser 
- Ability to be look like a dude on the other team in TDM or something AKA CRAZY

I'd like to see some banned weapons like white phosphorus rounds / napalm attacks.  If they can have nukes and the other nonsense in the game, they can have weaponry that's still being used by Israel.
 
Octocammo / cloak wouldn't be a bad idea for as silly as the game is.  It would be a good tool, make it work like it does in Halo or Metal Gear, a refractive effect.  Not too hard to see people with it, but it could help you if you wanted to use it.
 
As far as really silly stuff, why not?  People don't like the game because it's realistic, they like it because they can go akimbo and throw knives and use nukes...

Juggernaut

Perk: Nokimbo
 
All enemys lose akimbo on weapons.
 
Perk: Peace...
 
Description: Like, man...its, all colourful and shit...ya dig? Like mother nature...has...eermpff...hehehe.....

Perk 1: 1887 Bitch
Akimbo 1887s have Heartbeat Sensors and Grenade Launchers.
 
1887 Bitch pro
Extended range for Akimbo 1887s.

" Perk 1: 1887 Bitch Akimbo 1887s have Heartbeat Sensors and Grenade Launchers.  1887 Bitch pro Extended range for Akimbo 1887s. "

" @dbz1995 said:

" Perk 1: 1887 Bitch Akimbo 1887s have Heartbeat Sensors and Grenade Launchers.  1887 Bitch pro Extended range for Akimbo 1887s. "

1887 God : Riot shield mounted Akimbo 1887 with infrared mounted zoom scope, grenade launcher attachment, and shotgun attachment (for extra firepower) "

Why not just give people a third 1887? Mount it to their helmet and have them fire it with their tongue. That would be more effective than any other attachments you could think of.

" @Diamond said:

" @dbz1995 said:

" Perk 1: 1887 Bitch Akimbo 1887s have Heartbeat Sensors and Grenade Launchers.  1887 Bitch pro Extended range for Akimbo 1887s. "

1887 God : Riot shield mounted Akimbo 1887 with infrared mounted zoom scope, grenade launcher attachment, and shotgun attachment (for extra firepower) "

Why not just give people a third 1887? Mount it to their helmet and have them fire it with their tongue. That would be more effective than any other attachments you could think of. "

" @jukezypoo said:

Why not just give people a third 1887? Mount it to their helmet and have them fire it with their tongue. That would be more effective than any other attachments you could think of.

Not a bad idea.  I'm sure you could strap a second 1887 to each hand at least. "

" 2 fucking claymores "

" @jukezypoo: I disagree :P  Having a heartbeat sensor and a grenade launcher would be a million times better than a third gun :P "

Killstreak reward: 
Monty Python Foot - 26 kills

" Killstreak reward: Monty Python Foot - 26 kills "

" Killstreak reward: Monty Python Foot - 26 kills "

akimbo killstreaks.

I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch. =Be a Juggernaut
ItJ.B Pro= Knife proof.
 
Flak vest=noob toob proof.
FV Pro = shotgun proof
 
Spidey sense = Player calling in killstreaks is highlighted in a red box, lettign you run up an stab his ass.
SS Pro = campers highlighted too.

" I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch. =Be a JuggernautItJ.B Pro= Knife proof.  Flak vest=noob toob proof. FV Pro = shotgun proof  Spidey sense = Player calling in killstreaks is highlighted in a red box, lettign you run up an stab his ass. SS Pro = campers highlighted too. "

Penis Gun:
You shoot jizz in someones face with R1 and it makes there screen white

To combat campers  
 
Every player starts with C4 strapped to their chest .
 
Not allowed to stay in the same location for 3 seconds or it explodes.   
Pro: Time is extended to 5 seconds

Dedicated Perk
allows you to use dedicated servers to find a game

Perk: Splinter Cell Sonar 
Description: you can see everyone around you and see through walls 
 
Perk: Allah Akhbar 
Description, basically a kamikazi perk 
 
Perk: Shape shifter 
Description: change into a box whenevevr

Suicide Bomber
 
Instead of taking the javelin glitch out make it a perk!

" I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch. =Be a JuggernautItJ.B Pro= Knife proof.  Flak vest=noob toob proof. FV Pro = shotgun proof  
Spidey sense = Player calling in killstreaks is highlighted in a red box, lettign you run up an stab his ass. 
SS Pro = campers highlighted too. "

Rambo: Your bullets do progressively more damage the longer you've had the trigger held down
       Rambo Pro: You take less bullet damage the longer you've had the trigger held down
 
This perk would of course be accompanied by yelling from your character, MGS3 style.

50 Cent - Destroy any aircraft with one rocket.

" Iron Shoulder: Reduced recoil on weapons.
Pro Version: Advanced zoom on sniper rifles (2x, 3x etc.)    That's the only one I can really think of, and it's not even that much use, considering the fact that almost none of the weapons in Modern Warfare 2 have recoil to begin with. Still, it might be a good feature in another Call of Duty game, eventually. "

" Juggernaut "

Martyrdom 2.0
Drop a nuke upon death.

" Perk 1: 1887 Bitch Akimbo 1887s have Heartbeat Sensors and Grenade Launchers.  1887 Bitch pro Extended range for Akimbo 1887s. "

having a f**king mp40 and an ass mounted flamethrower thats got the range of a sniper :)

hallucinogenic spore dusting 
a plane comes by and dusts an area with hallucinogenic spore whoever is caught in the dust will lose their freaking mind

Anal Rapage: 
 
We knew you wanted to run around with a Anal Probe 
 
Meteor Gun: 
 
Fuck that pussy ass Nuke and use goddamn meteors.

A serious perk. Healt boost. The same healt boost as stoping power takes away. but shares the same slot as stopping power.