Dogshit Games

Today I opened up Twitter (I will never not call it that, do not test me) and found a not unusual sight there as it dies its long, agonizing death: an image with white bold text made explicitly for creating engagement. Get those clicks, quote retweets, arguments in the comments, just pile them on high for the OP to gorge upon as the site festers.

It is something that should remain in that writhing corpse of a social media platform and be forgotten. It provides nothing of value and leads only to anger and conflict.

But I have chosen Violence today, so here it is: "what game is this"

I will be creating that list now. Not because I want to illicit people to start fights in comments, but because I generally am curious to find what games I consider would fall onto it.

There are many games that will be saved by one category or another. I find very little redeeming qualities in GTA games, for example, but calling their music dogshit is absurd to me. GTA games have such a diverse collection of licensed music perfect for their time period and slice of America they take place in. How could I call that dogshit?

Bioshock Infinite is a game that I have seen rot in real time in the eyes of the public, but I can't deny that it is a very, very pretty game despite what it shows being horrific.

I am going to add one more caveat to the list though so it doesn't bloat out of control:

I will only post games that I have played OR dabbled in, but seen majority through someone else playing it.

This disqualifies games like, for example, Five Nights at Freddy's, a property I feel has contributed nothing of value to humanity and I will never touch.

I will be adding to this list indefinitely as I either remember stinkers that I have long since pushed out of my brain or if I play some truly putrid games.

List items

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  Indigo Prophecy
• 

  Heavy Rain
• 

  Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I
• 

  Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
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  Dragon Age: Origins

  I played this game for like 200 hours and cannot tell you a damn thing about what happened in it, any of the characters, or recognize any of its music.

• 

  The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
• 

  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
• 

  Final Fantasy VII

  This is only with regards to the PS1 original. The music almost made me cut this, but then I remembered most of the music I like when it has been covered, not the originals.

• 

  Tournament of Legends

  I say this as the highest of praise: this game is dogshit. Absolute best game I've ever put in a Mystery Game Tournament. Superb.

• 

  New Super Mario Bros.

  In the immortal words of Jeff Gerstmann "This is sucking out my soul! Wah-Wah!"

  "Dogshit Characters" is a hard sell here because Mario characters are great, but I would argue that this version of Mario & Luigi is the least appealing those characters have been in a game.

• 

  The Quiet Man

  I put this on this list as the sincerest form of praise. This is a dogshit game. It's amazing. Go play it.

• 

  Yaris
• 

  Army Men: Sarge's Heroes 2

  This is the only one I remember playing, but this whole franchise deserves to be on here.

• 

  Mario is Missing!

  I take it back, NSMB. This is the worst Mario has ever been. Even worse than the CD-i versions.

• 

  Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Battle 22

  It's been said that there are no bad fighting games because every fighting game is fun to play.

  This is one of the exceptions.

• 

  Street Fighter

  This is another exception.