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dk3691

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The Retirees

This is the B-side of Ranking Every Game, my lifelong project that seeks to rank literally every game I play/beat from January of 2019 on (https://www.giantbomb.com/profile/dk3691/lists/ranking-every-game/365073/). This list - which is unordered - will track all the games I start but don't finish. This will primarily be single-player games, as it doesn't seem particularly worthwhile to track the multiplayer games where I play a couple rounds but then don't keep going with them - there's only so much time, and frankly, the possibility of me putting a lot of time into a non-fighting game is pretty low (shout-outs to Overwatch circa 2016).

Games on this list are of course eligible for the other one, though for the most part these will be games that I feel truly done with despite not finishing them.

List items

  • Got to literally the final course, but it's too frustratingly difficult; you have to play almost perfectly throughout and the course's wind patterns change every time. The rest of the game is breezy, and the golf - which is not extremely precise - supports that. It doesn't support the difficulty of the final course though. Real shame, as the rest of the game is a fun, chill experience that fills the golf RPG gap left by Nintendo's more recent Mario Golf games.

  • The spritework here is outstanding but in general the game leaves me cold. The world is fairly interesting but the writing is clunky. Puzzle room layouts are more annoying than brain-teasing, and the game tends to favor style over readability. Just didn't grab me, even though I felt obligated to put a decent amount of time into it.

  • Like the first Valkyria Chronicles, a lot of the concepts in this are really fun, but the strategy is so loose that it can be hard to figure out successful tactics on more difficult levels. It just doesn't click with me.

  • Enjoyed this a lot at first but got into a situation where I was very overwhelmed in combat. This is probably the point - the game trying to communicate that true uprising means not being able to do the Paragon choice every time - but reloading old saves kills my momentum immediately.

  • Ecstatic about this game, but got fairly deep and spent about a year not playing it - tried to go back and it's just not happening. Would like to beat it one day, but will require me to start from the beginning again.

  • Played probably 6-8 hours of this and really liked it, but got distracted by other games that came out. Now I don't even know how to progress. Still have every intention of going back - it's really good - just not sure when I'll have the time.

  • I adored the 5-6 hours of this I put into it, but then DQXI came out on Switch and I ended up playing through that instead, and when it was done I was burned out on long games in general, even ones as pleasant, light, confident, and user-friendly as this one. Want to get back to it but, well, we'll see.

  • Put something like 15-20 hours into this, looked up its HowLongtoBeat and got demoralized. This is a surprisingly story-light RPG with generally bad localization and atrocious voice acting, but it got by on it's combat system which, even in this less-developed form, is still one of the better JRPG combat systems out there. But it's also one of its main crutches - at a certain point you stop getting any levelling value from using your basic attacks so you have to switch to developing your magic systems. This slows the game to a crawl because the animations take forever, and even simple combat encounters take a couple minutes. Would've benefitted from a modern upgrade like the Playstation Final Fantasy remasters, which allow you to speed up combat or skip it entirely.

    Might get back to it at some point because I do eventually want to replay Grandia II and I would want to beat this first, but I'm still pretty burned out from DQXI and the thought of a combat-heavy JRPG is exhausting to me.

  • Very cute, very charming, but unfortunately the skateboarding totally sucks. It's a small team and I have a lot of sympathy for that - I wasn't expecting this to be Tony Hawk. But I did expect it to at least be functional; instead it's a mess, where it's nearly impossible to link tricks together and you're constantly falling over for no reason or getting stuck in objects. This is some sub-Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX extreme sports gameplay and it totally ruins a game that my partner and I were both really looking forward to.

  • Adore SUPERHOT, was excited to get more of it, but while I respect the attempt to put it into a roguelike frame, it kills everything that makes the original exciting. It was SUPERHOT's tightness that let it sing, and replacing that with procedurally-generated levels, endless repeatabiliy, and roguelite grind doesn't do anything to add interesting wrinkles to its core gameplay (which to be fair is still great, even though it's less fresh this time around). At this point I just want to see this team make something totally new.

  • Mostly dug the couple hours of this I played but it left Game Pass before I could finish it and I wasn't quite invested enough to pick it up separately. Maybe one day.

  • Honestly cool, but maybe a bit too simple and all the styles are bonkers, though I guess they're reflective of 2008 fashion in that way. I thought I would slowly pick through all these games but I can definitely see how it gets better and more fleshed out from here, so I think I'm just going to skip ahead to one of the entries that people like more.

  • Had an Ace Attorney itch to scratch and this hit Game Pass so I gave it a shot. I think I played around 3 hours and I never even got to the real gameplay. This is the second or third time I've tried to play a Japanese visual novel and I don't understand why the writing is so repetitive and verbose, or why the protagonist is always such a milquetoast dickhead. Thought I would go back to this in downtime but at this point I've got Norco, Disco Elysium, and Kentucky Route Zero just sitting there and I would feel like a big dumb asshole choosing to play this instead.

  • Found this so boring to play I could usually only handle like 15 minutes at a time. This one really shows it's mobile-gameiness because there's all these mechanics based on time as a resource that I imagine originally passed in real-time - though I looked at the Wikipedia article and it doesn't mention anything about that, so maybe I'm wrong and instead the time stuff is merely dead weight. Regardless, everything takes too long in this game and neither the characters nor writing are particularly interesting (though there are some lore things that are neat), so I'm just giving it up.
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