NOTE: These are my own, personal opinions and they will be stated in a direct, unflinching fashion. If anything I say offends you, feel free to inform me of it, but try and keep it constructive and on-topic. It is likely that this post will be somewhat personal, as that is after all, it's intent.

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Alright, guys. Let's talk about sexism in gaming, why don't we?

To be honest, I don't want to. The very notion of it grates my nerves, and I quite frankly have to heave a sigh at least twice per paragraph. For months now, I have watched the forums explode with discussions of misogyny and counter-accusations of misandry. Quietly, I've sat on the side-lines, doing my very best not to get involved. Why? Truth be told, I'm confused as how to approach the subject. From where I'm standing, there really isn't an answer, or even necessarily a moral high-ground to take when it comes to the subject of sexism. It seems to me that a large amount of people believe that there actually is some form of solution to the issues of sex inside the gaming industry. To me, this comes across as incredibly naive, but more on that later.

Before I kick this off in earnest, I'd like to make a few statements regarding my own position and intent. Feel free to skip this if you, for whatever reason, are not interested in the marvel that is I. I am a male, an only-child, raised by a loving father and mother with more family than there are trees in the woods. Not to say that my childhood was perfect, far from it, but that is irrelevant to the matter at hand. I'm in my mid-twenties (and I mean to stay that way for at least another decade), I'm heterosexual, and have been in a number of relationships of varying seriousness. I generally dislike the notion of one night stands, but at the same time, I'm scared of commitment. At one point in my life, I lived with a woman for an extended period of time.My intention with writing this little piece isn't to somehow prevent people from continuing to talk about sexism, or to have anyone see the light of "reason". I realize, fully well, that this blog will only serve to pour additional fuel on the flame, but I'm beyond caring at this point. I have one objective, and one objective only, to express my frustration at a phenomena that has taken a life of it own.

Some of you, or perhaps all of you, might not agree with me, but that's okay. After all, this is still only my perspective on the subject, and anyone who thinks different is

an idiot

allowed to do so.

Right, let the whining commence!

Let me be clear, I find the treatment of women to be a very important topic in it's own right. Women should have the same rights as men, be allowed the same things as men, and be treated with the respect they deserve (which is a factor that varies from person to person to be sure.) That said, equality is a pipe-dream. Orwell once said; "No advance in wealth, no softening of manners, no reform or revolution has ever brought human equality a millimeter nearer." And I am in full agreement with that statement. The discussion of sex is one that is very different from one of race or belief. Rather than ideology, we're discussing biology, as if it were some form of moral matter to boot.

Inside of companies, governments, schools, institutions large and small, there are a number of established factors to try and ensure that all are treated with an equal amount of consideration ranging from harrassment training to more subtle inclusions such as a staff of mixed race and sex. All of these measures are intended to help create an equilibrium in how people treat each other. The problem being, that it can only maintain itself as a superficial entity. It does not, in any form, change how people actually think of others, and only the prescence of onlookers, a threat, keeps people in line. And so it is that we come to this rather awkward stand-point in which we try to apply the results of a delusion onto matters of creativity, games, which are sprung from people's minds. Is it then surprising that games made mainly by men tend to reflect rather objectified perspectives on women? The issue here is the contrast between how we think people should act as befits us from a moral and social stand-point, and what we instinctly believe as per our biological dictation.

By this, I do not mean anything particulary dramatic, but it's quite unavoidable for men to look at good-looking women and, sub-consciously, not to objectify them until he gets to know said individual as a person. Similairly, women treat men very much in the same way. We all have a habit of making up our minds long before we're presented with all the facts.

So maybe you're beginning to see why I feel more than a little confusion on the matter of sexism. It's a two-way street, yet I find myself reading about women being mistreated, misrepresented and men accused of being misogynists or white-knights, as if there wasn't anything else in the equation. We have, I'm afraid, reached a stand-still that is heavily dominated by the female perspective on the issue.

So it makes me wonder why does sexism consists exlusively under the purview of women at this point in time? When they grandly proclaim that to be a women is hard and to be a man is easy, where is the consideration that they demand for themselves? Men are to treat them as equals, I hear you say. Then I ask, what would be considered equality under these conditions? Are men to treat women how they treat other women, as they treat men, as men treat women, as men treat men, or as something brand new, something that goes beyond the sexes, biology, nature and frankly, sense? Ironically, it's the only possibility as we are all, so different and so alike. It's a series of self-aware paradoxes that the majority of people tweeting seems to become utterly oblivious of in their rampaging serial-contrarian complaints. Not only is a state of non-sexism impossible for it is in our genetic code to view the other gender differently, but if such a state is desired, a non-state, so to speak, where all is equal and all is considered and forgotten at once in the brashest form of double-think, then how can we ever achieve it if we go to such lenghts, as seen in these posts, to seperate the two genders as to make one the scape-goat for the state of the other?

We all look at sexism with a frown on our face, for whatever reason we individually feel that it somehow incriminates or incapacitates us, but show me a society, a world, where women and men were treated the very same and I'll show you a world without sentient thought. Sexism seems to be defined as differential behaviour of the two sexes when one takes umbrage and catergorically decides to interpret it as an inherent fault of the other gender. Sexist in itself, the paradoxes are endless.

The thing is that you'd have to be sexless in order not to be sexist for it's all so very subjective, and we are all different due to so many different factors, one of them being sex. So then it's sexist to reform your way of thinking in order to better encompass the other gender and how you treat them for that invites the implication that you think you have to treat them in a softer, more pandering manner for they cannot handle what you have to hand out, thus a sexist notion. It's sexist to ignore them and act in a brusque, stereotypical fashion without consideration of the difference in gender, for to ignore the need of the other, to see them as equally able to take and receive as you might implies that the sensibilities of others are beyond your capacity of understanding and that you so will not go to greater lengths in order to understand what might offend or please the other gender, thus a sexist notion. And it is uniformly sexist to claim that the other gender is beholden, and yes even responsible, for your useless complaints, a sexist notion.

We are different, but we've managed to survive together, for very obvious reasons, for quite some time now. What these women and men seem to fail to understand is that both sides need to give ground, and that said ground will only be given unwillingly, and that finally if achieved, it will accomplish nothing for it's in how we differentiate that the spark of interest, attraction and thus, life itself lies.

My direct thoughts on sexism aside, my main issue here is it's current effect inside the game-industry, it has long since transcended being an issue which directly relates to the problem women face in the industry and has, instead, become a cataclysm for division. It's becoming a measuring stick, by which people, who have previously barely given the matter any thought, judge others. It reminds me of being a teen-ager, dividing into tribes depending on which music we liked and offering nothing but scorn to those who thought differently. At some point, we grow up and learn that such differences don't really matter once we get to know the people beneath that facade, and I have faith that gaming, as a medium, will reach that point in due time. Forcing the issue will not help for we can't change how people think. In time, gaming will attract more females, and games will begin to be designed for a larger demographic by people of increasingly varied beliefs, sex and race. Just as you can't force people to grow up, you can't force gaming to do so.

And all of this just serves to frustrate me. Gaming is a medium that allows us to explore our wildest fantasies, it's supposed to teach us something, to allow us to be part of something bigger, to have fun. Instead we're left with this elephant in the room who keeps asking the oh, so creepy question; "what's your opinion on sex?", no matter the context.

I'm just sick of it.

This is the Do_The_Manta_Ray, being cool at your school, signing out. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment, discuss and debate. Any opinions are welcome here, so feel free to express them.

Edit: Nothing to see here, perfect title.