Lots of social awkwardness apparent in this upcoming animu season. I tried to find something on youtube with "spaghetti" in it, this is what came up.

[Crossposted on that anime site that people loved/hated before the big breakup. You know the one. If you are looking for a more serious/thorough/good explanation of what's coming up, now's your chance to look for another blog/site.]

It seems most people interested in watching Japanese cartoons these days are too busy having all the sex or earning all the paper, and they don't have time to read through paragraphs upon paragraphs to find out what anime are worth watching or not. They want anime previews in bite-sized chunks, so I am here to deliver that. Someone's gotta dig through the crap to find the swallowed diamonds in the turd pile. Nothing like doing one of these long lists to make you appreciate Sturgeon's Law that much more.

Before reading, keep in mind that 1) these previews are pretty subjective and may contain unserious language and 2) premiere dates are subject to change depending on whims of animation studios and Japanese broadcasters. I will try to edit in new dates and pics when I can to make this more readable.

• 06/08 Kingdom 2 -- a sequel to Yet Another Adaptation of China's Three Kingdoms stories. Did anyone watch the first series?

• 06/14 There goes Yuuto-kun (Yuuto-kun ga Iku) -- Kid plays soccer, does soccer things. Do they call it soccer or football in Japan? I'm just asking because I know there's like a niche of American Football fans over there. Or maybe that's just the Americans in the Okinawan army base. What were we talking about again?

• 07/01 Recorder and Ransel Mi -- Here is every single joke in the show: little kid who looks ten years older doing childish things, but every adult sees him as a creepy pervert. His older sister who looks ten years younger wishes she was bigger. Her friend is sort of in love with the brother. Their neighbor is a NEET. Now you don't have to watch this series.

• 07/01 Dog and Scissors (Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyou) -- bibliophile boy shot by a robber, reincarnated as a dog because JAPAN. Taken in (as a dog) by his favorite female author who abuses him with scissors. I don't even know what the fuck. Gonzo is doing this one.

• 07/02 Kanetsugu and Keiji (Gifu Dodo!! Kanetsugu to Keiji) -- two Sengoku-era generals who aren't Nobunaga or Hideyoshi. Based on a manga by Tetsuou Hara (Fist of the North Star), directed by Bob Shirohata (Hetalia, Gravitation) with script by Yasuhiro Imagawa (G Gundam, Giant Robo, Shin Mazinger Z). The staff makes it sound manly, but on the other hand, Studio DEEN.

• 07/02 Senyuu 2 -- Continuation of the crack series featuring a hero (kind of) who uncovered a conspiracy about the recent demon war and has to save humanity or something. There was a gag about a giraffe and a demon lord who accidentally opened a portal trying to make popcorn. Episodes only five minutes so whatever.

• 07/02 BROTHERS CONFLICT -- Reverse harem where a girl has 11 "brothers" who all want her tits for whatever reason.

• 07/03 Tamayura ~More Aggressive~ -- Shy girl makes friends, loves photography. I'm waiting for the big reveal where it turns out that photography is dead because any asshole with a cellphone can take a picture and put LOLCAT captions on it. Fuck you, internet. You destroyed the art of photography.

• 07/03 FREE! -- Sexy high school boys in swimsuits. Who said creepy anime fanservice wasn't equal-opportunity? Kyoto Animation is handling the production, so it will be well-animated.

• 07/04 Go-Home Club Activity Minutes (Kitakubu Katsudou Kiroku) -- In Japan the "Go-home Club" is a way of saying "I don't have an afterschool club, screw you guys, I'm going home!" before you hop on your moped and speed away, flipping the bird at your teacher all the while. Only problem is a schoolgirl here discovers someone made an actual club out of the name and she ends up joining it. Wacky hijinks ensue!

• 07/04 Stella Women's Academy, High School Division Club C³ (Tokurei Sochi Dantai Stella Jogakuin Koutou-ka C3-bu) -- Cute girls with [_________], this time it's airsoft club! On the other hand, they did have this trailer with a catchy tune.

• 07/04 Rozen Maiden (New Series) -- a hikkikomori NEET plays with dolls that have supernatural powers. Maybe the main character reacts to his sister's quips with "THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES ONEE-SAMA!" while he frantically tries to yank his pants back up.

• 07/04 Swan Song of the Valkyries: Symphogear G (Senki Zessho Symphogear G) -- J-pop idols with special music-powered armor to fight aliens.

• 07/04 Servant x Service -- The name might make you run for the hills, but it's a comedy about the staff of a health and welfare office in Japan, based on a manga by the writer of "Working!!", directed by the person behind the Squid Girl anime, might be funny?

• 07/04 Dangan Ronpa: Academy of Hope and High School Students of Despair, the Animation -- Seiji Kishi (P4 and SMT:DS2 anime, among others) directing a game adaptation. Murder mystery set in an elite high school with Persona-esque social links? Someone here can probably explain it better.

• 07/04 Love Lab (Ren-Ai Lab) -- Romantic comedy thing where girl helps her friend the Student Council President be less awkward. I'm hoping it's like My Fair Lady with lesbians.

• 07/06 Golden Mosaic (Kin'iro Mosaic) -- about a Japanese girl who is friends with a blonde-haired British girl who is moving in with her in Japan. I'm going to start humming the Odd Couple theme here. Da-dadadadaaaaaa dadada-dadadaaaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaaa...

• 07/06 The Sun Penetrates the Illusions (Genei wo Kakeru Taiyo) -- Dark-magical girl series. Only a matter of time before someone tried to out-Madoka Madoka. At least it's not an adaptation of something else.

• 07/06 Something-monogatari Series -- Written by the prolific NisiOisiN, directed by ShaftxShinbo again. That supernatural mystery romance that veered straight into creepytown with Nisemonogatari (but managed to grab the #4 spot in the GB 2012 Anime Poll for Duders!).

• 07/06 Genshiken: The Next Generation -- Another Genshiken series by Production I.G. where a bunch of otaku form a club, but apparently with a different cast this time around? .

• 07/07 Ecstatic Family (Uchōten Kazoku) -- Original novel adaptation by the same author behind Tatami Galaxy, so it might actually be good?

• 07/05 Ro-Kyu-Bu! SS -- Hello, my name is Chris Hansen. Maybe you'd like to take a seat over there? You're going to end up in the party van one way or another for liking this show unironically, might as well get a reaction on camera from you before we let the sherriff burst through the door and haul you away.

• 07/06 The Sunday God Wasn't There (Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi) -- Manga adaptation handled by Madhouse. A sci-fi/mystery story about a girl who works as a gravedigger in a world where no one actually can die or be born. Then crazy shit goes down. Might be good?

• 07/06 Fantasista Doll -- Wait a minute, don't we already have a Rozen Maiden adaptation?

• 07/07 Teekyuu 2 -- A group of girls who formed a tennis club but rarely play tennis. Budget of the first one consisted of 10 yen and a gum wrapper someone found on a Tokyo subway platform, I don't expect it will change much with this offering. At least the episodes are only like 3-4 minutes long.

• 07/07 Demon World Prince: Devils and Realist (Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist) -- Comedy/fantasy/supernatural adventure thing for the ladies about a poor guy who summons a demon and ends up subbing for Lucifer. Kind of like Bruce Almighty but with Hell and no Morgan Freeman or good humor.

• 07/07 High School DxD NEW -- The "W" in the poster is a giant pair of tits, or a scrotum, depending on how you look at it. Point is, this ain't exactly high art.

• 07/07 Hakkenden something something who cares

• 07/08 No Matter How I Look at It, It's Your Fault I'm Not Popular! (Watashi ga Motenai no wa dō Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!, or "WataMote!") -- A manga about a socially awkward girl where the majority of sales were actually driven by 4chan instead of Japan. 5 minutes in to the first episode and I guarantee you will know why without having to visit that site. 20 minutes and you'll start contemplating the meaninglessness of life. Directed and produced by the same team behind the BakaTest adaptation, so it might be funny while cringe-worthy.

• 07/08 The World God Only Knows Season 3 -- In a world where dating sims = real relationship advice, a hardcore gamer has to date a new girl like each week to draw out some evil ghost from their heart or something.

• 07/10 Blood Lad --Hikkikomori vampire who falls in love with the ghost of a human girl, so kinda like Twili--*USER WAS BANNED FOR LAME JOKE*

• 07/11 Silver Spoon -- noitaminA series based on the award-winning manga by Hiromu Arakawa (Fullmetal Alchemist). About a nerdy boy who escapes family troubles by joining an agricultrual high school. Loosely based on the experiences that Arakawa herself had growing up in a farm family. Fucking read/watch it.

• 07/12 Hyperdimension Neptunia: The Animation -- Game to anime adaptation by David Production (recently did the JoJo anime). It’s anime girl manifestation of the Console War, so you duders arguing over XBONE/PS4/Wii U/Ouya supremacy will love it.

• 07/12 Fate/Kaleid Liner: Prism-Illya -- Fate/Stay Night spinoff with magical girls instead of ancient warriors fighting for a Holy Grail. A little more cutesy than the main story. Being produced by Silver Link (BakaTest, others), with Takashi Sakamoto (Dusk Maiden of Amnesia) directing, take that as you will.

• 07/13 Milky Holmes sequel --Yo Holmes, pass me another hit of dat magical-girl series, but make 'em detectives in school or some shit. I dunno. Who gives a fuck.

• 07/13 A Town where you Live (Kimi no Iru Machi) -- A self-conscious male teen meets an extroverted female teen who moves from Tokyo to the other’s home in Hiroshima, sounds like 1-2 different adaptations that pop up every season. Directed by Shigeyasu Yamauchi (Dream Eater Merry). Maybe one of you have read the manga?

• 07/13 Gatchaman CROWDS -- Remember Battle of the Planets? Or that Eagle Riders show that popped up in the west? Yeah this is like that but with teens now, and a female lead apparently. Produced by Tatsunoko Production, with direction by Kenji Nakamura (Tsuritama).

OVA's/Movies to watch for:

• 06/22 GitS: Arise -- A prequel to the main Ghost in the Shell storyline, except in a different universe than the movie/SAC anime/manga universes. First 8 minutes are on youtube right now.
• 06/10 KICK-HEART -- Maasaki Yuasa and Production I.G.'s Kickstarter-funded film about S&M wrestlers.
• 07/06 Gintama movie -- this one supposed to talk about Gintoki's past I think?
• 07/13 -- Fate/Zero set in a cafe.
• ??/?? -- Code Geass Akito Part 2? Rumored to come out this season but who knows...

Feel free to tell me what I missed or how right I am in the comments.