By Eder 6 Comments
Oh man I gotta finish this
#6: Kingdom of Paradise (PSP)
Now this game might come as a surprise to people. First, this game got really good reviews, like 8's and 9's as far as I saw. But I still think this game is really bad and for really dumb reasons. The game is an action JRPG, just the way I like em. The story revolves around a guy who gets exiled from his clan. While he's on a break a rival clan wipes them out, leaving him and this other girl alive (how convinient). The story is not bad by any means, it's JRPG and ninja stuff, and that's cool im down with that. Even the gameplay is really good. You get a list of moves from different styles; you put them in slots that are your combo movies. So you can mix and match to make some pretty cool looking moves. Where the game totaly falls apart is in the interface. I wasted so many healing items by accident due to the damn way this game works. You map an item to one of the face buttons but the game doesn't have anything to remind you that you have that item there. Then theres the map, it's a complete waste of time. It looks really good artisticly, but if you wanna get somewhere good luck because the roads aren't in it. I don't play my portable games at home, so when I went on trips I would play this game. But after a month or so of not playing the game, I had no idea what I had to do next. The game wouldn't tell me what the hell I was supposed to do next or how to get there. Due to all these problems I could never finish this game and I don't intend to.
#5: Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal (DS)
Now we're really getting to the good stuff. Once again I got suckered into getting any game during the times when there are no good games out. Tao's Adventure: COTDS (Nice sub-title by the way) is an RPG where you fight monsters in a tower using magic and regular attacks in a turn based fashion. The thing about this game is that you draw the symbol of the magic you wanna use. That system sounds good but it just sucks. I would only remember like 2 symbols and never use the rest (Heal and Fire). The story is just about a kid (Tao) that has to get this monster egg from the tower in the middle of town to save his tribe who has been turned to stone. Something to point out of this game is that all of it takes place in the tower and you just go up floors full of monsters to kill. The graphics are ok and the monsters look pretty bland. But the UI is so messed up, it's really hard to buy stuff to upgrade your character because you can't tell if its better or not. The worst thing is that I didn't get this game on purpose, I was looking for some other game that looks a lot like it. I read this game is a kinda sequel to Azure Dreams on the PS1, might check that out. Oh wait....
#4: Sonic the Hedgehog (XBOX 360)
By now it's very clear that I'm a big Sega fan and a Sonic fan as well. This game looked really good on all the previews I saw and trailers. This was gonna be Sonic's big comeback from Sonic Heroes and Shadow the hedgehog. But as many of the dudes that made Sonic Team the powerhouse I guess it still is or was started leaving to make their own studios, this game just didn't make it past alpha. All the pieces where there to make this Sonic Adventure 3: Good graphics? Check. Good music? Check. Sonic running really fast? Check. Sonic the hedgehog is a very broken game, that's the biggest problem with it. It's got bugs all the way up the ass. You can sometimes go through walls, bump into invisible objects, slowdown and in one boss fight you can even get sent into space! This game has it all! To make things worse, you can control super broken versions of almost all of the Sonic heroes cast. Knuckles and Rouge are the worst BY FAR. I'll just tell you this: once you get on a wall, good luck getting that bastard off of it. I wont keep going because we all know this game blows. Robotnik looks cool though. Silver is also a cool new character.
#3: Haven: Call of the King (PS2)
Just thinking about this game gets me so mad. Even though I got it for like dirt cheap, almost free. Another thing im a sucker for are platformers. I love them. So when I saw this at for like a dollar I go: "Well how bad can it be?". OH boy REAL BAD that's how bad. The game is a broken, bad, sucktown, hand-me-down version of Jak & Daxter. The only thing that made me get to the end was the story. I gotta admit it was not bad. You play as Haven who hears the "Golden voice" of the lost king of the land. This makes the bad guy, Lord Vetch, keep an eye on Haven because he doesn't want the fair king back. So you go around getting items like all good platformers to keep the story going. There isn't much to say other than the game just feels unfinished and very frustrating at times. The combat just sucks, you get a yoyo for a weapon and you can find upgrades to your bracelet that let you shoot your enemies in like 4 different ways. Now on to the main even. The game ends in a cliffhanger that makes Halo 2 look like graduation day. You fight Lord Vetch and he freakin BEATS you. But don't worry, you find the king! Oh but he's chained to a rock in the middle of space, and Lord Vetch chains you up right next to him. The end. Really that's the end. Have no fear though! It's only the first game of a trilogy. Thank god. Wait, what's that on the box? Midway? Ah crap. Haven couldn't sell enough to even get a sequel. I couldn't find this secret ending if you get all the cogs or gears whatever, I couldn't take anymore of this game to care. But if anyone know what it is, let me know.
#2: Sonic & the Secret Rings (Wii)
Worst Sonic game ever made.
#1: Spikeout: Battlestreet (XBOX)
Spikeout sold itself to me with this one thought in my mind: A four player beat-em-up with online. How could you go wrong with that? Well let this game tell you how. First of all, you only get 1 stinking life for the whole game!! WHAT THE HELL? There are like ten chapters and you can save at the end of each one. But with only one life the game is impossible. It's crazy you have to put all the time in the world to become a master at not getting hit so that one life can be enough. It shames me to say that the game can tell you suck and asks you if you wanna tone it down to easy. So I did. The result is the same thing! I can't get past the second chapter. I can even act out the first like 15 seconds of that chapters cutscene, because that's the time it takes for it to load the game. The story and characters are all just wack. They are so bland and full of sucktown. I can't think of anything good about this game. That's why I think it's the worst game I have in my collection.
I'm almost out from work so thats why I cut this thing short. So I did the worst, so I guess I'll do the best. That list I think is harder to do.