This is my coming out: I am totally gay for rhythm games. I love everything about them: their music; their scrolling, quarter-note-long colors; the scoring at the end; their easy-to-play-in-short-bursts nature. Whether I'm playing with my hands or with my feet, getting a physical or mental workout, creating or passively receiving music, I'm guaranteed a damn good time.

If any of you know me in real life (which you probably don't) you know I'm ludicrously competitive. The only problem is that I suck at everything. Everything, that is, except rhythm games. By golly, God put me on this earth to stomp on colored panels on the floor really really fast and that's what I'm gonna do! I can robotically sing the FUCK out of heavy metal. I'll push the arrow keys on my keyboard super-accurately as much as I please, thank you very much. For some reason, the makers of these games said "How can we make Hausdog feel really really good about himself?"

If I had to pick an ideal rhythm game, my choice would be Stepmania. I'd go so far as to say its "ideal" classification transcends genre. Imagine DDR. Now imagine that it's completely customizable. The deciding factor in the quality of a rhythm game is its soundtrack. Stepmania has not only the best soundtrack out there, but the best possible soundtrack. It is impossible to beat a soundtrack made up by the player because they get to pick exactly what gets in and what gets cut. You don't like the background video? Change it to something else. Other games have level editors, but Stepmania's has the distinction of being the most simple. Furthermore, if you want to pretend you're playing actual DDR with good music (none of that worthless J-Pop crap), you can buy a USB dance pad. It's one of the few games where the average person can effectively make their own experience because the base mechanic is SO simple.

That's about it, it took me way to long to make this.