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IneptGoldfish

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Games That Would Have Pointless Speedruns


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  • Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Wait, you're telling me this game is a farming sim? Skillful play is clearly intended to look like this. Don't trick me with your mind tricks.

  • "Wher-" "Are-" "You are-" "We can hel-" "Plea-" "You're so stu-" "Trust m-" "Wait-" Skipping dialogue in a dialogue-driven game is the only way to play as far as I'm concerned.

  • Watch me drive in reverse across bridges and through structures like they don't even exist. I'm so fast the AI can't even move...oh wait.

  • You can't fool me, Professor Layton! I've memorized the solution to every one of your puzzles and I can navigate menus in the blink of an eye! ...Huh? Why do I suddenly feel this empty feeling, as if everything I've been doing working on this run has somehow made me disregard the plodding, incredibly intricate, and genuinely charming characteristics of the game? This is one riddle I cannot solve, Professor...

  • I've memorized the step patterns and can complete them 30% faster than the song itself! Ugh. *huff* ...I'm so tired. *Gasp* I knew it should have been *wheeze* ...segmented.