...but I ain't gonna make it that simple. Rather than posting an opinion that would send a legion of users into a shit storm of words and personal point of views I'm just gonna post a funny little story about a little punk girl, sickness, and emoticons.
 
Back in December I met a chick at a local punk gig. She was very cute and fun to talk to, but she had a penchant for taking things to the next level without a moments notice. Being the douche I was that day (well to be honest just a douche) I started chatting her up while she was on her 3rd bottle of Cobra. Thing is that she could hold her liquor so nothing happened that day besides a really good talk about common interests and gossip concerning people we happened to know.
 
Like I said. Nothing happened that day. If anything did it was that I got a new AIM buddy and a smile to talk to that happened to be 5 blocks away from my house. That went on for about 3 weeks and a new years day until, being the sad set of weak constitutions that I am, I started to develop feelings. Talks started to roll into flirts and flirts started to roll into teases.
 
Funny thing is that a lot of guys don't seem to understand that they are not only man in any woman's life; be it a friend, an acquaintance, or a soon-to-be lawfully wedded husband.
 
Mid January I hear from the grape vine that she's off in another state being a wife to some guy who plays the little bitch card (you know? The guy who basically lets a chick have it her way until she finally finds him insufferable because he doesn't have a pair?). Not hearing a peep out of her since new years week I was already over her and kind of had the 2011 NAMM show in mind.
 
Fast forward to April I arrive home with a gut full of NyQuil, a headache with a rumble akin to that of the ground under an Abrams tank, and ears borderline deafened courtesy of my guitar player's Peavey Valve King combo. Just got out of practice and all I wanted to do was ease myself onto my bed and pass my ass off with my head dug into a cold pillow. Yet the powers that be decided text me with a message concerning an email tied with sheet music I needed to download and learn in two days (session work). Begrudgingly, I turned over and reached for my laptop, logged into my AIM account, and pressed the mail icon with a (1) next to it. All of a sudden I was startled with a pop up saying "You have received (1) instant message from someone who is not in your buddy list. Accept?"
 
All I wanted to do was sleep. I can just hit accept, find out who it was, bitch about my predicament, and go back to sleep. Simple as that. Not everything is that simple though. As it turns out (and as you'd probably have figured by now) it was that cutey that got married and forgot about me. She just wanted to say hi and know what I've been up to for the last few months. I told her the business and then turned the conversation towards her and ask "So what have you been up to?" I didn't her to know I knew anything.
 
She tells me everything I would expect her to say, but I didn't act negative towards her actions because what better way to make a situation more awkward than grilling her about getting married at the age of 20? So then I say "Oh really? Congratulations! haha How are you and your hubby doing these days? X]" to which she replied "Divorced. XD"
 
Now let me just say that I am not the smartest motherfucker in the world. As a matter of fact I'm pretty damn clumsy. On top of that I can forget someone, but if they happen to reappear in my life all those feelings of defeat, anger, hate, and... well everything Yoda told Anakin can boil in my veins without a moments notice. But why bother bitching, right? That was two months ago so no hard feelings. I responded with "really? =O"...
 
...or so I thought.
 
Don't ask me what it was. It could have been the stupor I was in thanks to the condition of my body and the amount of commercial drugs I was on, or it could have been my subconscious self speaking it's heart out without running it by my brain, but what she got to read made me pause, stare at my laptop with utter shock, and ultimately make me laugh the most defeated laugh I have ever belted in my entire life.
 
"What the fuck do you mean by 'really? =D'" she typed back. I didn't know what to respond with. I was laughing so fucking hard. What kind of an asshole does it take to type "Really? =D" after hearing the news of an old interest getting a divorce? She then broke the silence by saying "Is it because you think you have a shot at me now that I got a divorce?! Well fuck you for one, and two you'll never have a shot cause I'm in no rush to have assholes in my life!"
 
I settled down and responded, all while chuckling the girliest chuckle you can image: "Look, I'm tired and sick and you caught me at a bad time. My brain don't work too smart right now and I tend to do stupid things like what you just witnessed. I was going to say sorry and correct what I typed, but I was too busy laughing my ass off at how stupid I can be. I can tell that you're pissed, but I'm tired, sick, and not in the mood to keep something going that was never there for the last two months so I'm just gonna stop this conversation and wish the best of luck to you. See ya."
 
After that I closed the chat and proceeded to download the sheet music that was in my inbox. It's unfortunate that I couldn't keep anything together with her, but why bother with someone who jumps to conclusions and proceed to grill me that fast? I've had my fair share of that anyway.