Harry Potter Drags The Fallen To Hell? Alright, Witty Title Over

Instead of focusing on games this week, I focused on something that I love and haven't really focused on in a few months:  movies.  My buddy Dusty came up from Austin this weekend for his birthday, and he hadn't seen Drag Me To Hell yet.  Since it was in the dollar theatre, we decided it would be a bit more kick-ass to see this flick with a few more scratches in the film stock, making for a real seedy-theatre kind of experience.  The movie is just as good for me the second time around, but unfortunately, the sound wasn't nearly as booming and to the level of "aural rape" I had experienced the first time.  This has led me to the belief that I have to invite Dusty over when the DVD comes out so we can hear it on my 5.1 surround.  = D 
 

YOU SHAME ME, MICHAEL BAY!!!  WHY HAVE YOU SHAMED ME?!
The day after, I went and Transformers 2.  If I had to pick one single word to describe the film, I would say "disgraceful".  When I walk into a theatre to see a movie labeled "Transformers", I do not want to see the following: 
  • A joke about someone's nuts every 10 seconds
  • Two twins that are walking stereotypes of black people calling each other "pussies" and fighting
  • A Transformer WITH a set of balls
  • Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
  • A mother having eaten pot brownies and yelling at girls about how his son had his cherry popped
 
I would expect this kind of stuff in a Judd Apatow movie, and I would probably laugh at a few of the things.  In Transformers, however, it's an utter disgrace and quite disrespectful to the fanbase who has loved this franchise for so long.  Michael Bay taking an iconic franchise and turning it into his own thuggish playground the way he has had me close to walking out of the theatre at least five times, as well as yelling in the theatre "what the FUCK is wrong with this movie?".  The parents with their kids complained about me complaining and cussing...then laughed with their kids when John Turturro comments on being directly under a Transformer's scrotum.  The world we live in, eh? 
 
So, a big thank you to Michael Bay for raping my childhood.  Fuck you very much.  Sorry I tried to defend your fucking movie, and I'm sorry for everyone who I shit on when the movie was being released.  You were right, I was wrong. 
 
Jim Broadbent delivers an incredible performance as Professor Slughorn.
The following night, it was time for my family and I to have our traditional "hey, new Harry Potter is out, time to hit up the theatre" night.  We've seen every Harry Potter film in the theatres, as my mother and youngest brother (who is now 20) are big fans of the books.  I've personally only read the seventh book, and it was mainly because my mother was incredibly sick when it came out and I read it to her while she was bed-ridden.  Therefore, those two can pick everything apart for whatever it is worth, but I go into each of the movies with a fresh look at the material.  I've enjoyed all of the movies so far, but not like I enjoyed Half-Blood Prince.  This movie was phenomenal. 
 
Let me repeat that:  Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is PHENOMENAL! 
 
I don't care what wasn't in the movie that was in the book.  I really don't.  I look at this as a MOVIE, and this movie easily trumps ANYTHING in the franchise.  People can claim Prisoner of Azkaban to be the best all they want, but I still contest that Cuaron's "long takes are the best" method really hurt that movie...as well as filtering it through about twelve shades of black!  Half-Blood Prince has that feeling of extreme black sometimes as well, but it didn't irritate me nearly as much because David Yates shows how capable he is of using that darkness to its advantage.  The origins of Tom Riddle are not light-hearted, and Yates doesn't treat it lightly at all.  Meanwhile, HBP shows some of the best acting in the franchise, with Daniel Radcliffe really spreading his wings this time around.  Any human being that cannot see the absolutely PERFECT comedic timing he has when under the influence of the Liquid Luck potion is blind...just blind.  Emma and Rupert do a great job as Hermione and Ron as usual, but let's be honest:  Jim Broadbent steals the fucking SHOW as Professor Slughorn.  He brings that cool, calm, collected English sensibility of acting that the franchise needs so badly at this point.  The scenes he shares with the young Frank Dillane as a teenaged Tom Riddle are some of the best acting seen in this entire series...and the stare that Frank Dillane has blew me away!!! 
 
At the end of the day, though, the movie just does everything it has previously done so much better.  Malfoy is less of an emo ass bastard and more of a scared teenager trying to belong where he knows he shouldn't be at all.  Potter plays the role of a lovestruck fool trying to have a normal life that is constantly interrupted by his destiny with flying colors.  Watson plays the role of a girl trying to make sense of the world around her incredibly well, and Grint's absolutely naivete is the best he's done so far.  Rickman once again shows a seamless performance as Snape, and again proves why he's got the best eyes for acting in the industry. 
 
No two ways about it:  Half-Blood Prince really shines as a film, both franchise-related and on its own.  I suggest everyone see it and get sucked in by the excellence it exudes. 
 
Until next time, piece!
24 Comments
25 Comments
Posted by jakob187

Instead of focusing on games this week, I focused on something that I love and haven't really focused on in a few months:  movies.  My buddy Dusty came up from Austin this weekend for his birthday, and he hadn't seen Drag Me To Hell yet.  Since it was in the dollar theatre, we decided it would be a bit more kick-ass to see this flick with a few more scratches in the film stock, making for a real seedy-theatre kind of experience.  The movie is just as good for me the second time around, but unfortunately, the sound wasn't nearly as booming and to the level of "aural rape" I had experienced the first time.  This has led me to the belief that I have to invite Dusty over when the DVD comes out so we can hear it on my 5.1 surround.  = D 
 

YOU SHAME ME, MICHAEL BAY!!!  WHY HAVE YOU SHAMED ME?!
The day after, I went and Transformers 2.  If I had to pick one single word to describe the film, I would say "disgraceful".  When I walk into a theatre to see a movie labeled "Transformers", I do not want to see the following: 
  • A joke about someone's nuts every 10 seconds
  • Two twins that are walking stereotypes of black people calling each other "pussies" and fighting
  • A Transformer WITH a set of balls
  • Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
  • A mother having eaten pot brownies and yelling at girls about how his son had his cherry popped
 
I would expect this kind of stuff in a Judd Apatow movie, and I would probably laugh at a few of the things.  In Transformers, however, it's an utter disgrace and quite disrespectful to the fanbase who has loved this franchise for so long.  Michael Bay taking an iconic franchise and turning it into his own thuggish playground the way he has had me close to walking out of the theatre at least five times, as well as yelling in the theatre "what the FUCK is wrong with this movie?".  The parents with their kids complained about me complaining and cussing...then laughed with their kids when John Turturro comments on being directly under a Transformer's scrotum.  The world we live in, eh? 
 
So, a big thank you to Michael Bay for raping my childhood.  Fuck you very much.  Sorry I tried to defend your fucking movie, and I'm sorry for everyone who I shit on when the movie was being released.  You were right, I was wrong. 
 
Jim Broadbent delivers an incredible performance as Professor Slughorn.
The following night, it was time for my family and I to have our traditional "hey, new Harry Potter is out, time to hit up the theatre" night.  We've seen every Harry Potter film in the theatres, as my mother and youngest brother (who is now 20) are big fans of the books.  I've personally only read the seventh book, and it was mainly because my mother was incredibly sick when it came out and I read it to her while she was bed-ridden.  Therefore, those two can pick everything apart for whatever it is worth, but I go into each of the movies with a fresh look at the material.  I've enjoyed all of the movies so far, but not like I enjoyed Half-Blood Prince.  This movie was phenomenal. 
 
Let me repeat that:  Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is PHENOMENAL! 
 
I don't care what wasn't in the movie that was in the book.  I really don't.  I look at this as a MOVIE, and this movie easily trumps ANYTHING in the franchise.  People can claim Prisoner of Azkaban to be the best all they want, but I still contest that Cuaron's "long takes are the best" method really hurt that movie...as well as filtering it through about twelve shades of black!  Half-Blood Prince has that feeling of extreme black sometimes as well, but it didn't irritate me nearly as much because David Yates shows how capable he is of using that darkness to its advantage.  The origins of Tom Riddle are not light-hearted, and Yates doesn't treat it lightly at all.  Meanwhile, HBP shows some of the best acting in the franchise, with Daniel Radcliffe really spreading his wings this time around.  Any human being that cannot see the absolutely PERFECT comedic timing he has when under the influence of the Liquid Luck potion is blind...just blind.  Emma and Rupert do a great job as Hermione and Ron as usual, but let's be honest:  Jim Broadbent steals the fucking SHOW as Professor Slughorn.  He brings that cool, calm, collected English sensibility of acting that the franchise needs so badly at this point.  The scenes he shares with the young Frank Dillane as a teenaged Tom Riddle are some of the best acting seen in this entire series...and the stare that Frank Dillane has blew me away!!! 
 
At the end of the day, though, the movie just does everything it has previously done so much better.  Malfoy is less of an emo ass bastard and more of a scared teenager trying to belong where he knows he shouldn't be at all.  Potter plays the role of a lovestruck fool trying to have a normal life that is constantly interrupted by his destiny with flying colors.  Watson plays the role of a girl trying to make sense of the world around her incredibly well, and Grint's absolutely naivete is the best he's done so far.  Rickman once again shows a seamless performance as Snape, and again proves why he's got the best eyes for acting in the industry. 
 
No two ways about it:  Half-Blood Prince really shines as a film, both franchise-related and on its own.  I suggest everyone see it and get sucked in by the excellence it exudes. 
 
Until next time, piece!
Posted by Breadfan

Just saw Harry Potter last night, thought it was pretty good. I stopped reading the books at the fourth one when I was a kid, but recently I started rereading them to catch up on the series

Posted by Bruce

Well, you did pay money to see Transformers 2, so technically, you're part of the problem.
Posted by Fr0Br0

I like "The Fallen Prince Drags Harry Potter to Hell" better.

Posted by jakob187
@Bruce said:
" Well, you did pay money to see Transformers 2, so technically, you're part of the problem. "
I paid money because I'm not going to pirate a movie.  Also, how will I know if I personally hate it if I don't see it?  Therefore, I knew well enough what kind of crime I was committing by lining Michael Bay's pocket with more money.  Nonetheless, when looking at the first and comparing it to this one...there is such a HUGE contrast!!!  There is ABSOLUTELY no need for the potty humor other than to say "hey, fuck the nerds and people who like this, let's turn this into an episode of Big Brother...and hey, people laugh at nuts, right...so let's put a lot of those jokes in the movie, even though they don't fit for any reason at all". 
 
It's just bullshit, man.  Pure...bullshit.
Posted by Tireyo

I sadly don't like any Harry Potter book or movie, but I'm still a little curious about Transformers.

Posted by GamerGeek360

I honestly didn't mind Transformers 2 but I did think the first one was better. I'm still hopeful for Transformers 3. As for the Harry Potter movie. Right now I'm going through and reading the books. I've only read the first three originally and then I'll watch the movies again. Glad that it was really good though.

Posted by ZombiePie

Yup I pretty much agree with on every count. The one thing that really peeved me about Transformer 2, other than the terrible dialogue and deus ex machina ending, was the fact that the movie decided to spend time with the least interesting autobots. You have a whole cast of character and the writers decided it would be best o just develop Bumblebee and the two racsist autobots, I call bullshit. Man and Bumblebee wasn't even in my top five favorite autobots...
 
On Harry Potter I read all of the books excluding the last one so watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince made realize how I need to fix that real soon before the next movie comes out. Then again hopefully whoever is directing the next movie should take their sweet time and make it the grand fireworks show that Harry Potter deserves.

Moderator
Posted by Bucketdeth

Transformer 2, was a big let down, It was "OK" if you didn't grow up with the show, but god damn, enough with the sexual teen jokes and the two fucking twin transformers.

Posted by jakob187
@ZombiePie: Well, David Yates is directing both movies for the 7th book.  Yes, in case you weren't aware at this point (which means you've been living in a dark cave, Zombie), they are making the last book into two movies.  I like what David Yates has done with Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, but the book enthusiasts have constantly told me that Yates' movies are the most inaccurate to the books in the series.  I would think that would belong to Mike Newell and his Goblet of Fire.  I've enjoyed every single movie, however, and a lot of that is probably due to the fact that I know very little going into the movies.  Granted, I already knew a LOT about HBP because my mom was filling me in on what happened in the sixth book while I was reading her the seventh.  Therefore, I also knew the ending of HBP.  Was it a ruining moment for me finding out that piece of info?  Nope. 
 
My only issue now is that...well...the seventh book is REALLY good...but the first half is basically Harry just camping out and looking for the Horcruxes.  I mean, to be honest...an entire movie dedicated to that alone might be relatively boring...especially when compared to what the second movie would have (with all the craziness of wizard war going on).  However, the first half of Deathly Hallows has a LOT....I mean A FUCKING LOT...of pretty important deaths in it that need to have their tribute paid to them.  The deaths that are going to hit me hard, however, aren't until the second half of the book, which means I'll have to hold out to see those. 
 
@GamerGeek360 said:
" I honestly didn't mind Transformers 2 but I did think the first one was better. I'm still hopeful for Transformers 3. As for the Harry Potter movie. Right now I'm going through and reading the books. I've only read the first three originally and then I'll watch the movies again. Glad that it was really good though. "
How could you not mind Transformers 2?  I defended that movie up and down before I had seen it, mostly on the crutches of "well, as long as it's got big explosions and giant robots fighting each other, I'll like it".  NO!  The potty humor and juvenile bullshit they turned that movie into is just degrading and unbelieveably disrespectful to those of us who actually care about the Transformers franchise past being a money-making scheme.  They degenerated Transformers 2 to the same level as a direct-to-DVD National Lampoon's movie starring Corey fucking Feldman!!!   I just don't see how anyone can "mind" what they did with that movie.
Posted by Ping5000

Yeah, I loved Half-Blood Prince. I thought it was really, really character-driven compared to the other movies.

Posted by pause422

T2 is a bigger abomination than the first by miles and miles...its shouldn't even be considered a film. In my eyes, it never happened. Secondly, even though I've definitely never really gave two shits about Potter or care to ever read the books, I'm hearing too many good things from everyone on this latest movie, so I think I may actually check it out. Next up, is District 9 though.

Posted by TeflonBilly

I posted this in another Transformers 2 thread
 
"ROFT was so bad I couldn't go directly to a good film after having seen it. I had to watch Beverly Hills Chiaua and work my way up cause my brain wouldn't tolerate the shock of going from ROTF to anything good. I almost died watching a homeless man urinating behind a dumpster on my was home seeing as that was a million times more entertaining.

That movie was so intellectually bankrupt that I fear that whoever enjoyed that movie will contaminate the genepool and should be sterilized."
 
I don't consider Micheal Bay a director. He's a brain and taste rapist.

Posted by LiquidPrince
@jakob187 said:
"Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
It wasn't Optimus that said that, it was Ironhide. Shows how well you were paying attention I guess.
Posted by pause422
@LiquidPrince said:
" @jakob187 said:
"Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
It wasn't Optimus that said that, it was Ironhide. Shows how well you were paying attention I guess. "
Well that just changes everything doesn't it!
Posted by LiquidPrince
@pause422 said:
" @LiquidPrince said:
" @jakob187 said:
"Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
It wasn't Optimus that said that, it was Ironhide. Shows how well you were paying attention I guess. "
Well that just changes everything doesn't it! "
It does actually. It's not in Optimus's character to say that, but Ironhide would totally.
Posted by pause422
@jakob187 said:
" @ZombiePie: Well, David Yates is directing both movies for the 7th book.  Yes, in case you weren't aware at this point (which means you've been living in a dark cave, Zombie), they are making the last book into two movies.  I like what David Yates has done with Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, but the book enthusiasts have constantly told me that Yates' movies are the most inaccurate to the books in the series.  I would think that would belong to Mike Newell and his Goblet of Fire.  I've enjoyed every single movie, however, and a lot of that is probably due to the fact that I know very little going into the movies.  Granted, I already knew a LOT about HBP because my mom was filling me in on what happened in the sixth book while I was reading her the seventh.  Therefore, I also knew the ending of HBP.  Was it a ruining moment for me finding out that piece of info?  Nope. 
 
My only issue now is that...well...the seventh book is REALLY good...but the first half is basically Harry just camping out and looking for the Horcruxes.  I mean, to be honest...an entire movie dedicated to that alone might be relatively boring...especially when compared to what the second movie would have (with all the craziness of wizard war going on).  However, the first half of Deathly Hallows has a LOT....I mean A FUCKING LOT...of pretty important deaths in it that need to have their tribute paid to them.  The deaths that are going to hit me hard, however, aren't until the second half of the book, which means I'll have to hold out to see those. 
 
@GamerGeek360 said:
" I honestly didn't mind Transformers 2 but I did think the first one was better. I'm still hopeful for Transformers 3. As for the Harry Potter movie. Right now I'm going through and reading the books. I've only read the first three originally and then I'll watch the movies again. Glad that it was really good though. "
How could you not mind Transformers 2?  I defended that movie up and down before I had seen it, mostly on the crutches of "well, as long as it's got big explosions and giant robots fighting each other, I'll like it".  NO!  The potty humor and juvenile bullshit they turned that movie into is just degrading and unbelieveably disrespectful to those of us who actually care about the Transformers franchise past being a money-making scheme.  They degenerated Transformers 2 to the same level as a direct-to-DVD National Lampoon's movie starring Corey fucking Feldman!!!   I just don't see how anyone can "mind" what they did with that movie. "
I wouldn't be surprised if G.I. Joe turned out better than Transformers, and its no question that movie is going to be terrible from the get go to anyone.
Posted by RHCPfan24

Yes yes and yes. I agree with EVERYTHING you said there, jakob. 
 
Transformers 2 was one of the worst movies I have ever seen, hands down. I will contain my comments to the review I posted here
 
Meanwhile, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was a fantastic movie. I am a huge fan of the series of books and movies (check out my wiki edits) and I found this to be a great companion to the 6th book, a superb book on its own right. I did a review here and check it out for more of my thoughts.
 
So yeah, you got polar opposites here. EXTREME bad and EXTREME good. I have already seen Half-Blood Prince twice in theaters and I am going to see it this Friday in IMAX with a few of my friends. That should be a great experience, honestly. I can't wait.

Posted by RHCPfan24
@TeflonBilly said:
" I posted this in another Transformers 2 thread  "ROFT was so bad I couldn't go directly to a good film after having seen it. I had to watch Beverly Hills Chiaua and work my way up cause my brain wouldn't tolerate the shock of going from ROTF to anything good. I almost died watching a homeless man urinating behind a dumpster on my was home seeing as that was a million times more entertaining.That movie was so intellectually bankrupt that I fear that whoever enjoyed that movie will contaminate the genepool and should be sterilized."  I don't consider Micheal Bay a director. He's a brain and taste rapist. "
I also agree with this statement wholeheartedly ;)
Posted by Everyones_A_Critic

I've paid to see Transformers twice, but snuck into Bruno and The Hangover each time. It's a decision that haunts me in my dreams to this day.

Posted by HolyCrapItsAdam

I really enjoyed Transformers 2 and I loved the original Transformers series. As for Harry Potter. I have never seen any of the films or read any of the books so I can't comment on that one. I find the whole Harry Potter phenomenon to be quite baffling to be honest. I don't see the appeal at all but to each their own I guess

Posted by jakob187
@LiquidPrince said:
" @jakob187 said:
"Optimus Prime, within the first five minutes of the movie, saying "punk ass Decepticons", then putting his foot on said Decepticons chest and shooting it in the face like he's a common fucking thug
It wasn't Optimus that said that, it was Ironhide. Shows how well you were paying attention I guess. "
I'm sorry for misquoting that.  I've double checked and it was Ironhide who provided that line.  I guess I got mixed up in thinking it was Optimus because he stepped on Demolishor's chest and put a bullet in his dome like Optimus was suddenly a low-grade fucking thug!!! 
 
EVEN THEN...NO Transformer needs to be saying "punk ass Decepticon".  Then again, I wasn't happy with Ironside's thuggish attitude in the first movie either.  =  /  It's great to see that Michael Bay at least has ONE piece of continuity between the films.
Posted by ZombiePie
@jakob187: Man about the Harry Potter fanboys, forget them. What they don't realize is that what works in a book doesn't necessarily translate that well in movie form. So yeah some parts get cut out and other parts get change to make those scenes tolerable to watch in a movie. Being cinematic is a tricky thing to do if your adapting a book. Also just because every infinitesimal detail wasn't in the movie didn't make it bad. Jesus when I hear Harry Potter fans complain that they are angry that more Quidditch wasn't in the film I want to slap them. So yeah I hope that same people who made this movie learn from it and look beyond the book when they are making the next batch of Harry Potter movies.
 
But yeah I'm totally going to see the G.I. Joe movie and I'm totally prepared to walk out, but I still want to see it.
Moderator
Posted by pirate_republic

Finally, someone that agrees with me about Harry Potter!
 
I'm actually a big fan of the books, I've read them all multiple times, but this movie was kick-ass. They made lots of changes, but all the changes were for the better. I hate how people say it sucks because it isn't line for line from the book. There were additions and subtractions all of which were for the better (for the movie, that is).
 
I didn't see transformers. And I won't, until it comes out on video of demand. I doubt its worth a trip down to blockbuster.

Posted by jakob187
@ZombiePie: I don't think I'll walk out of G.I. Joe.  I simply think it'll be a fun and brainless movie...like Snakes on a Plane. 
 
I understand the need for those adapting a book to change things and omit others.  I remember how pissed people were about Peter Jackson completely cutting Tom Bombadil out of the movies, but Jackson had a solid point:  Tom isn't centric to the story of this ring getting from point A to point B.  I think the difficulty comes in when you are adapting not just a book, but a series of books that revolve in a relatively large universe.  People want to see EVERYTHING in that universe.  Personally, I like how they have picked away certain things from the Potter books (again, my mom tells me every damn detail of these things when we're watching the movies).  I don't think that you ever needed to have Peeves in any of the films.  Why?  Well, do you think ANY performance could honestly be as mischievous as Peeves translates to being in your head?  NOPE!!!  Therefore, he doesn't need to be in the movie.  I think the same can be said for Tom Bombadil.  There's no performance that can capture him better than the performance you allow in your head. 
 
Then we get to the question of Watchmen, however.  Here's a book translation that is going frame-by-frame for most of the movie and recreating stuff.  Does it all work on film?  No, not necessarily, and I'm aware of that.  However, what Snyder did with that film is amazing to me.  He not only did everything in his power to offer that movie as great fan service, but he layered and layered and layered that movie with so much stuff I keep catching in subsequent watches. 
 
For instance, does anyone pay attention to every single kiss that Silk Spectre II lays on someone?  Do you?  Remember how Dr. Manhattan said that when she kisses him, she plants a second smaller kiss like it's a signature?  EVERY SINGLE KISS, SHE DOES THAT!!!  When she kisses Nite Owl, she does it EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!  It's little details like that, the fact that the actors and the director were willing to commit to that level of detail.  Does it mean that cinematically, Watchmen is a triumph?  No.  It failed to perform at the box office, and the DVD sales are slow so far as well thanks to us knowing that the Freighter Edition is coming later this year.  Why buy the Director's Cut when the better edition is still in the works, right?  However, I think Watchmen has shown that directors, writers, and producers can take a little extra time to ensure that characters do what characters need to do in movies... 
 
...and I think that's where Half-Blood Prince shines.  It doesn't follow the super intricate patterns of the book and include every single thing, but what the characters DO in the movie remains consistent.  The mannerisms that each of them exhibit, whether they are acknowledged or subconscious, is what makes this movie FEEL alive!  For once, I was able to watch the movie and not see Daniel, Emma, Rupert, etc.  Instead, I saw Harry, Hermione, Ron, etc.  I hate that it took this long for them to finally come into their skin with the characters so well, but I'm glad that it finally happened before the final chapter of the franchise is released in film form.  = D