I'm Back: A jakob187's Story

First off, fuck you if you said "We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story sucks". Fuck you hard in the ass with a cactus, good sir and/or madam.

Second, I have returned from my self-imposed hiatus from the forums/blogosphere/world of gaming. Why? Well, in all honesty, I caved and took my old job back. They say that hindsight is 20/20, and looking back on the five years that I worked here at Lansharx, I ended up realizing that I was a pissy asshole when I shouldn't have been to customers. Actually, that hindsight has brought me a newly discovered level of determination in this job.

The job deals with kids. Lots of kids. Some of them are young kids that don't know jack about video games. We've all seen and heard the complaints time and time again: casual gaming is bullshit. If you have stated that, then congratulations on being an elitest dick like I once was. I felt like those kids were beneath my time and effort, but in retrospect, they weren't. They are the future of gaming, and as someone who has been playing games since he was shitting in his Huggies (and no, that doesn't include last week, you sick fucks), it is my sworn duty to teach them of gaming history. It's my job to not just give them a customer experience that makes them want to keep coming into the store and playing video games, but it's a necessity that I show them there is a world outside of Call of Duty and Halo. You don't have to always be pointing a virtual gun at a virtual head and virtually shooting a virtual bullet to see a splatter of virtual blood. Virtually.

In turn, this all means that I will have long moments of sitting in front of a computer. It won't be as many long moments as before, as again, I'm determined to make shit better this time around. I'm not going through the paces, but rather I'm engaging the paces.

In the time that I've been absent, I've noticed the following things:

  1. I went from being the top poster on the forums to fifth. You fuckers have been busy. = D
  2. I pretty much have only played League of Legends and Diablo III Beta. Beyond that, I've played the occasional Xbox 360 game, namely still trying to finish off Bastion, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, Gatling Gears, and now working through 4-player co-op on Gears of War 3. With all the games coming out, I picked a good time to jump back in the fold.
  3. Most of you aren't reading this blog anyways, but I feel self-important because this is the goddamn internet.
  4. If you are reading this blog, then it means that you are either Claude (HAI2U2!) or someone else from the old school. Sometimes, it feels good to be old, right?
  5. I'm just goddamn rambling now.

It's good to be back. My <3 belongs to Giant Bomb, muthafuckers.

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Posted by jakob187

First off, fuck you if you said "We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story sucks". Fuck you hard in the ass with a cactus, good sir and/or madam.

Second, I have returned from my self-imposed hiatus from the forums/blogosphere/world of gaming. Why? Well, in all honesty, I caved and took my old job back. They say that hindsight is 20/20, and looking back on the five years that I worked here at Lansharx, I ended up realizing that I was a pissy asshole when I shouldn't have been to customers. Actually, that hindsight has brought me a newly discovered level of determination in this job.

The job deals with kids. Lots of kids. Some of them are young kids that don't know jack about video games. We've all seen and heard the complaints time and time again: casual gaming is bullshit. If you have stated that, then congratulations on being an elitest dick like I once was. I felt like those kids were beneath my time and effort, but in retrospect, they weren't. They are the future of gaming, and as someone who has been playing games since he was shitting in his Huggies (and no, that doesn't include last week, you sick fucks), it is my sworn duty to teach them of gaming history. It's my job to not just give them a customer experience that makes them want to keep coming into the store and playing video games, but it's a necessity that I show them there is a world outside of Call of Duty and Halo. You don't have to always be pointing a virtual gun at a virtual head and virtually shooting a virtual bullet to see a splatter of virtual blood. Virtually.

In turn, this all means that I will have long moments of sitting in front of a computer. It won't be as many long moments as before, as again, I'm determined to make shit better this time around. I'm not going through the paces, but rather I'm engaging the paces.

In the time that I've been absent, I've noticed the following things:

  1. I went from being the top poster on the forums to fifth. You fuckers have been busy. = D
  2. I pretty much have only played League of Legends and Diablo III Beta. Beyond that, I've played the occasional Xbox 360 game, namely still trying to finish off Bastion, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, Gatling Gears, and now working through 4-player co-op on Gears of War 3. With all the games coming out, I picked a good time to jump back in the fold.
  3. Most of you aren't reading this blog anyways, but I feel self-important because this is the goddamn internet.
  4. If you are reading this blog, then it means that you are either Claude (HAI2U2!) or someone else from the old school. Sometimes, it feels good to be old, right?
  5. I'm just goddamn rambling now.

It's good to be back. My <3 belongs to Giant Bomb, muthafuckers.

Posted by CL60

I still haven't passed you in posts :(

Posted by jakob187

It was a valiant effort, sir. = D

Posted by ViciousAnchovy

I loved "We're Back: a Dinosaur's Story."

It's nice to see that you have a passion for your job.

Posted by ajamafalous

Olde Schoole

Posted by Everyones_A_Critic

Welcome back man!

Posted by ninjakiller
@jakob187:   
Posted by LordXavierBritish

I'm not sure what you're talking about but I'm proud of you.

Posted by AhmadMetallic

@CL60 said:

I still haven't passed you in posts :(

that's a shame

Posted by Guided_By_Tigers

@jakob187 said:

First off, fuck you

Damn we're off to a rough start. :(

Posted by jakob187

@AhmadMetallic: Oh, don't worry. You won't be ahead for much longer. I'm sure of it. = D

Posted by BlameGamer

People watch their post counts?

Edited by ProfessorEss

Accepting your diminishing relevance is a big step. Realizing that you're not fresh anymore ("fresh" as in "Fresh Prince") and that if you hear an idea you can't quite grasp, that there's a good chance that it's you and not the idea, can be a tough nut to swallow. (Yes, yes, I just said "nut to swallow")

We need people to push the past on these kids, but those people have to understand it will never trump the present for those living in the present. 
 
Good to see you, and your incredibly pleasing VJ icon, back. 

Posted by Jeffsekai

No, fuck you.

Posted by Shadow

I'm still jealous of your job, even now that I have one of my own. It's not a bad job either. Hell, I'd say I'm lucky to have a job where I enjoy it so much that the days pass by super fast. But it's no 'playing video games for a living'

Edited by jakob187

@ProfessorEss: By saying "diminishing relevance", I feel like I've just been compared to a dick in cold water. = (

@BlameGamer: In-joke.

Posted by Contro

Good thing you're back, I was feeling lonely.

Posted by jakob187

@Jeffsekai: There's that Blanka that I know and love. SQUISHIES!

Also, just passed Ahmad. UMADBRO?!

Posted by BoG

My return is much more exciting than yours.

Welcome back!

Posted by HandsomeDead

The guy with WASD tattooed on his hand can't find a job other than the post he thought he was better than in a dead end gaming centre. I can't be the only one who foresaw this?

Edited by jakob187

@BoG said:

My return is much more exciting than yours.

Welcome back!

HOLY FUCK WHEN THE SHIT DID YOU GET BACK I MISSED YOUR AVATAR SO GODDAMN MUCH!!!!!!!!

Posted by AhmadMetallic

@jakob187 said:

@AhmadMetallic: Oh, don't worry. You won't be ahead for much longer. I'm sure of it. = D

Haha. Post count contests turn into spam fests and one word posts, which is not very nice, so I'll resist the urge to say "You're on, old guy!"

But hey, good luck ;]

Posted by Video_Game_King

A We're Back reference? Did anybody even watch that movie?

Posted by BoG

@jakob187 said:

@BoG said:

My return is much more exciting than yours.

Welcome back!

HOLY FUCK WHEN THE SHIT DID YOU GET BACK I MISSED YOUR AVATAR SO GODDAMN MUCH!!!!!!!!

Few months ago. I must say, so may familiar faces were missing when I did return. Good to see you are here once again!

Edited by jakob187

@HandsomeDead: Actually, every interview I had didn't mind any of my tattoos. The reason I didn't get half the jobs I interviewed for? I don't have tits and a vagina. Good to see you're as cynical as ever, HandsomeDead. = D

@BoG: Your return is of epic proportions.

@AhmadMetallic: You know me. One word posts just don't suffice. I'm too self-important for that shit.

Posted by NekuSakuraba

@jakob187 said:

  1. If you are reading this blog, then it means that you are either Claude (HAI2U2!) or someone else from the old school. Sometimes, it feels good to be old, right?

The oldest of schools. Welcome back. :)

Posted by Dalai

But... you never left. Now BoG, that's what I call leaving!

I'll play along anyway. Welcome back, amigo.

Posted by xMP44x

I'm still here, and welcome back!

Posted by NekuSakuraba

@Dalai said:

But... you never left. Now BoG, that's what I call leaving!

I'll play along anyway. Welcome back, amigo.

Did you leave? You haven't been posting as much. =/

Posted by TooWalrus

Can I call it a comeback?

Posted by Dalai

@NekuSakuraba: I've been around, but lately I've been letting out my inner lurker.

Posted by jakob187

@TooWalrus said:

Can I call it a comeback?

Only if you take me out to dinner first. HEY-O!

Posted by jorbear

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Posted by xMP44x
@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Honestly, I think the exact same. :P
Posted by Example1013

Still nowhere near King Saturn's post count.

Posted by Hamz

I've only really had any semblance of regular activity on the site around this last week or two myself so forgive me for not noticing your disappearance. That said it's good to see you return! :)

Posted by NekuSakuraba

@Example1013 said:

Still nowhere near King Saturn's post count.

No one here will be unless Giant bomb allows spam threads to rack up your post count. If it's not King Saturn's. it will be someone else who posts count on Comic Vine.

Posted by jakob187

@Example1013 said:

Still nowhere near King Saturn's post count.

Oh Lord no! That's crazy shit.

@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Here's the deciding factor: do you know the legacy of Levio91? If not, then you are not in the old school of which I'm speaking.

Posted by EuanDewar

@NekuSakuraba said:

@jakob187 said:

  1. If you are reading this blog, then it means that you are either Claude (HAI2U2!) or someone else from the old school. Sometimes, it feels good to be old, right?

The oldest of schools. Welcome back. :)

Get it! Old School! Like the user who was a weird bastard and built fort's out of games with his kids?

Posted by NickL

@xMP44x said:

@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Honestly, I think the exact same. :P

Thank god I'm not the only one.

Posted by jorbear

@jakob187 said:

@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Here's the deciding factor: do you know the legacy of Levio91? If not, then you are not in the old school of which I'm speaking.

I feel so special now.

Posted by TooWalrus
@jakob187 said:

@TooWalrus said:

Can I call it a comeback?

Only if you take me out to dinner first. HEY-O!

Speaking of assless chaps, Kaos Angel has been gone for awhile...
Posted by ProfessorEss
@jakob187 said:

@ProfessorEss: By saying "diminishing relevance", I feel like I've just been compared to a dick in cold water. = (

Not really. You dip a dick in cold water and it's relevance eventually returns.
Posted by xMP44x

I am embarrassed to say that I did not know who King Saturn was. And now I do.... what the hell?!

Posted by N7

I like you. I like you allot. Lets be frends.

Posted by W0lfbl1tzers
Welcome Back.
Edited by jakob187

@W0lfbl1tzers: I can totally put that with my old News Kids on the Block poster in the garage and my Paula Abdul tapes from when I was a kid.

God, I wish I was kidding about what I just said.

@TooWalrus: I see what you did there!

@jorbear: So I take that to mean you DO remember Levio? If that's the case, that was some fucked-up greatness, wasn't it?

Posted by Gargantuan

@jakob187 said:

@Example1013 said:

Still nowhere near King Saturn's post count.

Oh Lord no! That's crazy shit.

@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Here's the deciding factor: do you know the legacy of Levio91? If not, then you are not in the old school of which I'm speaking.

I miss that bastard! So many cool people have left Giant Bomb.

Posted by Subjugation

I figured you straight up disappeared forever a la Linkyshinks/HitmanAgent47.

Posted by CaptainCody

@jakob187 said:

@Example1013 said:

Still nowhere near King Saturn's post count.

Oh Lord no! That's crazy shit.

@jorbear said:

Whenever someone talks about "the olde school", I'm never quite sure if I am one of those elites.

Here's the deciding factor: do you know the legacy of Levio91? If not, then you are not in the old school of which I'm speaking.

Someone should just dig up some quotes and make a meme generator of him like people did with HitmanAgent47.

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