So I had a bit of a setback. I went on vacation and also went on a binge. I couldn't even tell you what I was thinking when I did it. I felt overwhelmed for some reason. It was bullshit though. I just wanted to drink. It turned into binging because, no matter what I did, I couldn't get drunk. My tolerance is so high I couldn't get drunk no matter what I did. I drank a lot and wasn't getting the feeling I was looking for. I came to realization that this 'feeling' was a falsehood. I was chasing a dream. So I've decided to chase something else. Something palpable that I can realize and achieve. I'm working out, eating healthy, and am bound and determined to get myself and my dogs into the best shape of our lives. This is a goal I can reach. This can, and has, lead to a feeling that I can actually feel.