I'm a terrible writer, but I feel like I need to get my thoughts down since I have no one around here to really talk about it with. Its funny, I've never felt so upset at the the death of someone I've never met before. Although, I've probably listened to Ryan talk for more hours than most other people in my life, save for close friends and family. I listen to the bombcast almost every week (I'll miss maybe 2 or 3 a year), and I watch all the quick looks at least twice (I guess its more like I'll listen to it once while doing something else, then watch it later) so Ryan and the guys have actually been a huge part of my life since I discovered the site. This site has gotten me through some tough times with their antics.

I first stumbled upon Giant Bomb somewhere around 4 years ago. I had been out of high school for a couple years, and couldn't find a job because of the recession. I was incredibly depressed, and that honestly probably impacted my job chances even more. I felt like there was no point in even looking sometimes, because when I did look no one was hiring in my area. I also played World of Warcraft with whatever money I had, like an alcoholic or something. That also probably contributed to my problems, because getting those purples gave me that gratification I desired. Anyways, when I couldn't pay for WoW anymore all I had to do was sit and think about things. I was in a dark place for a while needless to say. I visited 4chan to stave off my boredom, mainly because you could hit refresh every minute and all the threads would be different (and 4chan was actually a little more interesting back then). So I was browsing through /v/ and found a thread where people were talking about Persona, and one person posts something along the lines of: and if you're really bored, you can go over to giantbomb.com and watch 2 guys play through all of Persona 4, and they're pretty entertaining too.

So I pretty much watched the ER for about 2-3 weeks straight, and I hadn't laughed as hard as I did then in a long time. I still watch that ER like once a year (because I'm crazy). I actually got so into the story I had to stop watching it around episode 120 ish maybe? I had to experience the ending for myself, so I found myself a job at Wal-mart, bought a PS2 and played through Persona 4, and then Persona 3: FES. Well, since I wasn't watching the ER so to not spoil it, I started exploring the rest of the site. I started watching quick looks and got to know the other guys. I couldn't believe how funny they were, especially ones with Ryan and Vinny. I had always been under the assumption that video game review sites were just about the worst place to go if you liked video games. They just seemed like factories that pumped out scores for games, and I guess maybe they were back then.

Well working at a Wal-mart is about as shitty as you can imagine, honestly it was pretty depressing how shitty it was sometimes. The best part was since I worked in the deli, there was a solid 2-3 hours at the end of my shift where I didn't need to talk to anyone. I listened to music during that time for a while, but I had a hard time staving off the boredom of the work like that. I decided to give the bombcast a try, I never did, because I thought while watching them playing games and talking about it was entertaining, I probably wouldn't enjoy listening to them talk with no game happening for a solid 2 to 3 hours. Boy was I wrong, the bombcast quickly became my favorite thing about the site, and it made me look forward to that time at work when I could clean that deli and listen to the guys talk about games. There were numerous times where I would just start laughing and my coworker would be like wtf are you listening to.

So I guess what I want to say is the bombcrew has gotten me through some tough times in my life, and Ryan was a huge part of that. It still almost seems like I'll wake up in the morning and see a new quick look with Ryan in the morning or something. They say laughter is the best medicine, and all the good times from the site really improved my mood. I was able to make friends again, started talking to old friends. I was actually able to enjoy video games again, instead of just being a way to pass the time. I decided to go back to school, because I wanted to be part of that industry and started studying Computer Science. Which is actually kinda funny, during my second semester I discovered how much I fucking love mathematics. I have changed my majors to applied mathematics and couldn't be happier. But yeah, I completely turned my life around and Giant Bomb is a huge part of that. Maybe it sounds weird for a video game site to do that much for someone, but I don't care.

I just want to thank Ryan, Jeff, Vinny, Brad, Alex, Patrick, Drew, Dave, Alexis and all the other whiskey media games for helping me out. My heart goes out to Ryan's friends and family and especially his wife. If I feel as bad as I do, I can only imagine how they feel. Ryan was one awesome dude, he always seemed to be able to roll with any situation, and he could contribute to anything in a significant way. And when he and Jeff were together, it was incredible. I'm gonna miss you man, thank you for all the good times Ryan.

I'm sorry if you read my ramblings, just wanted to get it off my chest in a way.

I got all the achievements in Dark Souls, not that anyone cares anymore, but its the most satisfying thing I've achieved in a video game since probably when I playing WoW in BC killing Sunwell bosses.