You Won't Kill Me That Easily: Giant Bomb Internship Round 2.

Not even an army of haters could keep me away from a second Whiskey internship.

That's right, folks. As of today, I start my second summer internship at Giant Bomb and Whiskey Media, returning to the best job experience of my life while also putting me on track to win the Whiskey Internship Triple Crown (TM) (not a real TM).

Even though this is my second outing to the Whiskey Offices, I'm still reeling from all of this. During my first summer with Whiskey Media, I fully expected that I would spend my time performing the grunt labor for the sites--getting sandwiches, organizing comics and, if I was lucky, working on improving the wiki databases. And I would have been totally thrilled just to do that. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be contributing to the writing on my favorite website, even if it was just writing news stories based on press releases. And participating in, even hosting Quick Looks? What kind of looney would let a dumb intern come within two feet from an internet camera? An idiot looney, is who that would be..

I didn't even have to Google this. It was already in our database.

But, against all odds-- and, some would argue, against common sense-- I graduated from the menial labor of a mere interns to proper editorial menial labor, which is a way better labor. I now had responsibilities and contributions to Giant Bomb. I could not have been more stoked.

Those three months of writing articles for GB last summer lead me back to the Whiskey Media offices once again, now no longer a mere intern but a supraintern. For all practical purposes, that means I'm the intern who doesn't have to get the sandwiches, making me THE OFFICE'S MOST POWERFUL INTERN which is exactly like being the world's strongest mollusk.

But awkward shellfish metaphors aren't the reason I'm writing this blog. No, sir, I'm writing this blog to let you know what kinds of content you can expect from me over the course of the summer. I've got three months to alternately dazzle and disappoint you. Let's hop to it!

This is the content you can expect from me during my Internship.

  • Kessler Kam. The behind-the-scenes-of-Whiskey video series returns! Thrill as I whip out a Flip Camera and record the impromptu, random conversations between the editors of the Whiskey Websites. Witness me use ALL OF MY MIGHT to hold the camera steady, preventing the video from looking like it was shot on the back of a moving jeep.
  • Undisclosed Original Video Series. As Ethan mentioned back in his intern announcement blog, Former Intern and "Golden-Voiced Video Childe" Internet Steve will also be returning this summer for an internship. In addition to his own increased responsibilities (he's helping Vinny and Drew with video!), the pair of us will be crafting several weekly video series for your entertainment and ridicule. And don't worry your pretty heads about a couple of New Jack interns ruining the main thrust of GB video content with some dumbass videos; all of the new stuff will be appearing in the Giant Bomb Youtube channel, as well as our personal blogs. Consider our videos an experimentation ground for video content, a place where we can experiment with a whole bunch of video styles to see what works.. And, heck, maybe you'll like the videos. Steve and I have been brainstorming video features for the past month, and we've come up with some appropriately dumb ideas. None of those video ideas, I am unhappy to say, offer any kind of pun using the word "Intern." What can you do.
  • News. I'll once again be putting my writing energies to the news desk. Expect more news articles to contain sneaky, downright inappropriate references to Tattoo Assassins which should help to balance the Majora's Mask references in Patrick's articles.
  • E3 Coverage. This won't matter much past this next week, but this second internship begins just a week before the E3 embers set the gaming industry ablaze.. With the main GB staff down at the show seeing games, recording live shows and writing previews, the Whiskey interns will be maning the SF office and assisting the main staff from home. Expect to see us liveblogging the major press conferences, writing up the major news announcements of the show and posting up dozens and dozens of trailers. Oh, and we'll probably do another late night dinner/E3 video round up from the office as well, allowing the folks at the office to react to the show and providing me ample opportunities to eat and with my mouth open.

I'll try and have less of that open mouth business.

And that's just the beginning.

That's the content I can guarantee you'll be seeing from week to week over the course of this internship. But it's just a small part of what I hope to accomplish during this internship. Without giving anything away, I'll say that I'm making the effort to try and expand the types of editorial content you see on Giant Bomb, putting the focus on aspects of the site that aren't always the main focus of the site. I can't make any promises that my editorial dreamin' and schemin' will ever come to pass! It might all be for naught, and you'll never hear mention of this mysterious content again! But I'll be trying to make it all happen, to enhance the site with additional quality content, to make my favorite website even better. Alternatively, if I can't make the site better, I'll settle for not making things worse, That will be acceptable.

In closing, I'd like to reiterate, as I did at the start of my internship last year, that I never dreamed that doing a dumbass community podcast over Skype would lead me to this dream job. It doesn't get any better than that.

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Edited by MattBodega

Not even an army of haters could keep me away from a second Whiskey internship.

That's right, folks. As of today, I start my second summer internship at Giant Bomb and Whiskey Media, returning to the best job experience of my life while also putting me on track to win the Whiskey Internship Triple Crown (TM) (not a real TM).

Even though this is my second outing to the Whiskey Offices, I'm still reeling from all of this. During my first summer with Whiskey Media, I fully expected that I would spend my time performing the grunt labor for the sites--getting sandwiches, organizing comics and, if I was lucky, working on improving the wiki databases. And I would have been totally thrilled just to do that. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be contributing to the writing on my favorite website, even if it was just writing news stories based on press releases. And participating in, even hosting Quick Looks? What kind of looney would let a dumb intern come within two feet from an internet camera? An idiot looney, is who that would be..

I didn't even have to Google this. It was already in our database.

But, against all odds-- and, some would argue, against common sense-- I graduated from the menial labor of a mere interns to proper editorial menial labor, which is a way better labor. I now had responsibilities and contributions to Giant Bomb. I could not have been more stoked.

Those three months of writing articles for GB last summer lead me back to the Whiskey Media offices once again, now no longer a mere intern but a supraintern. For all practical purposes, that means I'm the intern who doesn't have to get the sandwiches, making me THE OFFICE'S MOST POWERFUL INTERN which is exactly like being the world's strongest mollusk.

But awkward shellfish metaphors aren't the reason I'm writing this blog. No, sir, I'm writing this blog to let you know what kinds of content you can expect from me over the course of the summer. I've got three months to alternately dazzle and disappoint you. Let's hop to it!

This is the content you can expect from me during my Internship.

  • Kessler Kam. The behind-the-scenes-of-Whiskey video series returns! Thrill as I whip out a Flip Camera and record the impromptu, random conversations between the editors of the Whiskey Websites. Witness me use ALL OF MY MIGHT to hold the camera steady, preventing the video from looking like it was shot on the back of a moving jeep.
  • Undisclosed Original Video Series. As Ethan mentioned back in his intern announcement blog, Former Intern and "Golden-Voiced Video Childe" Internet Steve will also be returning this summer for an internship. In addition to his own increased responsibilities (he's helping Vinny and Drew with video!), the pair of us will be crafting several weekly video series for your entertainment and ridicule. And don't worry your pretty heads about a couple of New Jack interns ruining the main thrust of GB video content with some dumbass videos; all of the new stuff will be appearing in the Giant Bomb Youtube channel, as well as our personal blogs. Consider our videos an experimentation ground for video content, a place where we can experiment with a whole bunch of video styles to see what works.. And, heck, maybe you'll like the videos. Steve and I have been brainstorming video features for the past month, and we've come up with some appropriately dumb ideas. None of those video ideas, I am unhappy to say, offer any kind of pun using the word "Intern." What can you do.
  • News. I'll once again be putting my writing energies to the news desk. Expect more news articles to contain sneaky, downright inappropriate references to Tattoo Assassins which should help to balance the Majora's Mask references in Patrick's articles.
  • E3 Coverage. This won't matter much past this next week, but this second internship begins just a week before the E3 embers set the gaming industry ablaze.. With the main GB staff down at the show seeing games, recording live shows and writing previews, the Whiskey interns will be maning the SF office and assisting the main staff from home. Expect to see us liveblogging the major press conferences, writing up the major news announcements of the show and posting up dozens and dozens of trailers. Oh, and we'll probably do another late night dinner/E3 video round up from the office as well, allowing the folks at the office to react to the show and providing me ample opportunities to eat and with my mouth open.

I'll try and have less of that open mouth business.

And that's just the beginning.

That's the content I can guarantee you'll be seeing from week to week over the course of this internship. But it's just a small part of what I hope to accomplish during this internship. Without giving anything away, I'll say that I'm making the effort to try and expand the types of editorial content you see on Giant Bomb, putting the focus on aspects of the site that aren't always the main focus of the site. I can't make any promises that my editorial dreamin' and schemin' will ever come to pass! It might all be for naught, and you'll never hear mention of this mysterious content again! But I'll be trying to make it all happen, to enhance the site with additional quality content, to make my favorite website even better. Alternatively, if I can't make the site better, I'll settle for not making things worse, That will be acceptable.

In closing, I'd like to reiterate, as I did at the start of my internship last year, that I never dreamed that doing a dumbass community podcast over Skype would lead me to this dream job. It doesn't get any better than that.

Posted by LiquidS

Glad to see you back and Good Luck!

Posted by 71Ranchero

Screw the haters! Welcome back!

Posted by No0b0rAmA

Hooray for Kessler Kam! Great news.

Posted by Shadow

Soooo jealous

Posted by Marz

More Surströmming videos and you gagging plz.

Posted by Hockeymask27

Aw yeah more  Kessler Kam.

Posted by cooljammer00

Talking with your mouth open? 
 
I wouldn't have it any other way.

Edited by Dany
Posted by Slaker117

Goddammit Kessler, stop reading the comments and GET BACK TO WORK!

Posted by Rorie

LAME

Staff
Posted by Claude

This is going to be a great summer. I can feel it.

Posted by President_Barackbar

Kessler Kam Kontinues!

Posted by shinigami420

Great :) 
 
I like kessler alot he fits right in i would not mind him joining gaintbomb

Posted by ShaggE
@Rorie said:

LAME

Psh, this "Rorie" guy is clearly just a hater. Probably has a blog about puppies or some shit, too.  
 
:P
Online
Posted by NoXious

All those links are Gallop Racer! It's like a Rickroll! You bastard.

Glad to have you back though, Kessler Kam was awesome - need moar.

Posted by Yummylee

I wonder if it'd be too out there to imagine you eventually tackling the reviewing front of things. Giving the word on all those pesky JRPG's the others dare not touch, or any other lesser known games they wouldn't find to be worth the time. 
 
Whatever comes out of all this, may we forever be holding into our butts.

Posted by Xpgamer7

RETURN OF KESSLER!!! Nice to have you back!

Posted by BrainSpecialist

Epic win.

Posted by Lab392

THE KESSLER RETURNS. 
 
I'm so happy for you, Matt-baby. Congratulations.

Posted by RYNO9881

Welcome back man.

Posted by FLStyle

Looking forward to some more Kessler Kam, it'll make up for the lack of mailbag videos easily.

Posted by datarez

Welcome back, so is the Allard project real?  
 
Like @noXious said, stop rick rolling Gallop Racer.

Posted by Liber

 
Please do more Quick Looks about normal games and not DS JRPGS.

Posted by Rattle618

Good for you man, I hope you get to spend more time with the mic or in front of a camera.

Posted by zombie2011

Out of all the interns so far Kessler is the only one with a personality it seems.

Posted by countinhallways

Good times. I look forward to absorbing all the content you produce.

Posted by Ezlo

Fantastic news! My summer just got a bit brighter.

Posted by AlwaysBeClothing

As long as you keep eating swedish fish, we'll keep tuning in to 97.5 THE KESS
 
Welcome back to hell, Good sir.

Posted by TeflonBilly

DAMMIT KESSLER! 
 
I hope they have a segment on the Happy Hour where they give you a J Allard-esque makeover. 
We already got Hardcore Dave. Give us Hardcore Kessler!

Posted by ShiftyMagician

Welcome back Mr. Kessler and good luck in your second internship!

Posted by TaliciaDragonsong

Wb!

Posted by Slaker117
@TeflonBilly said:
DAMMIT KESSLER!  I hope they have a segment on the Happy Hour where they give you a J Allard-esque makeover. We already got Hardcore Dave. Give us Hardcore Kessler!
This premise frightens me to my very core.
Posted by PillClinton

I look forward to more Kessler Kam.  

Posted by PhatSeeJay

Welcome back! To celebrate your return, I've sent the crew a new can of Surströmming!

Posted by Mento

'Grats Kessler. Since you'll be commanding more respect around the WM offices as Kingtern, I guess that means it's up to us GB regulars to provide a nemesis figure to comically undermine you at every turn, right? 
 
No? 
 
Too bad.

Moderator
Posted by Brendan

Awesome, glad you're back dude!  Also, how many interns does Whiskey Media have right now?  Three?

Posted by Weltal

Fuck the haters. Get back to work, you filthy intern.

Posted by Jackel2072

Welcome Back Mr Kessler.... we missed you. *Agent Smith voice*

Posted by AjayRaz

haters gonna hate on KESSLER. welcome back bro 

Posted by TooWalrus

I hate you. I hate every aspect of you down to your very soul... 
 
...but only because I want to be you.

Posted by crusader8463

Yay! I loved the stalker videos you did. I'm glad they are coming back since the guys stopped doing videos of them just talking around the offices like they used to do back when they were still cool and lived in the pre sell-out basement offices! Just hope I still have your account subscribed on youtube. Or are they going to be videos on the site now?

Edited by Yummylee
@Brendan said:

Awesome, glad you're back dude!  Also, how many interns does Whiskey Media have right now?  Three?

Five. There's the return of Bodessler and Lemon; with the introduction of Glen and Undead Pool, and there's Epicsteve who's looking to join the rising horde as well. At this point I think each staff member is hiring to have their own, personal intern, which they'll sick at each other in exploitative cage matchs and make bets.
Posted by TheMustacheHero

YAY! Have to admit Matt, you totally grew on me. And it was sad to see you get replaced by Lemon. 
 
But now all is well in the world.

Posted by UnrealDP

Awesome, just let the haters hate and they willl creep back into the dark trenches they spawned from
Posted by Forever

I support this. I think you were the only memorable intern anyway.

Posted by kingclaw

Wait, so MattBodega is that Kessler guy, damn Im stupid.

Posted by craigbo180
@zombie2011 said:
Out of all the interns so far Kessler is the only one with a personality it seems.
Well that's a little harsh but he is certainly a polarizing figure, he has the whole love/hate thing going on. 
 
Welcome back to the bomb I enjoyed the old video content so I will be glad to see that make a return!
Posted by Allprox

Yay! Welcome back dude.

Online
Posted by NinjaHunter

Will we have a Kessler Kam v. Lemon Lens video off?

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