slowbird's comments

Posted by slowbird

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WAS CONTAINED IN THE PART OF THE EMAIL THAT BRAD DIDN'T READ, IT'S GOING TO HAUNT ME FOREVER

Posted by slowbird

I'm usually willing to give things the benefit of the doubt, but yeah...I think this is the worst trailer I've ever seen.

Posted by slowbird

Hey, sad/depressed crew high-five! *half-hearted attempt at a high-five, followed by more moping* Oh well, we tried!

Posted by slowbird

FUCK YEAH.

Although I would have preferred to have "The Boss" in Divekick complete with the entire character creation system of Saint's Row.

Posted by slowbird

I kinda like Lightning as Lara Croft more than I like Lara Croft, for some reason.

Edited by slowbird

Aw man, they didn't show the sandbox thingy that comes with the pre-order! D: There's a plinko board, a giant hammer, and like 100,000 ramps and shit to crash into! It's worth the pre-order all by itself!

Posted by slowbird
is that a custom wood body for a Rock Band controller?
Posted by slowbird

So glad Gone Home got on the list! Only game on that list I really care about.

Posted by slowbird

@pseg said:

@slowbird said:

guacamelee tastes even worse than guacamole

...and this is why I can't trust you, Slowbird. Guacamole haters can't be trusted.

To be clear, I already own Tomb Raider, DmC, Battlefield, Spelunky, Antichamber, and Guacamelee, I just haven't played them. This is the terrible thing Steam sales will do to a man.

Guacamole is not good on burgers or other things! It's a goddamn fruit and it tastes bad in combination with salty meats! Fuck avocados!

also I got DMC free and can't be bothered to play it, Tomb Raider was cheap and thank god for that, and I played the demo of Blood Dragon and didn't want to buy it afterwards. I watched someone play Spelunky and said "nope" and I hate multiplayer shooters so Battlefield is out until they bring back the Bad Company characters. Antichamber looks like a puzzle game and I hate puzzles because I am not smart enough to solve them.

Edited by slowbird

I've only played three of these but I can safely say that you don't need to play any of them, and here's a list of reasons why (and just some general nonsense that isn't true):

tomb raider has shitty stealth sequences

dmc's first level is meh

rogue legacy is for chumps who like dying a lot

metal gear rising, more like metal gear falling

antichamber: motion sickness simulator

guacamelee tastes even worse than guacamole

far cry 3 blood dragon's shooting is a real DRAG ON my mental health

battlefield 4? you could get the same experience from installing an experimental fork of linux (lots of crashes)

spelunky is just one mind-numbing death corridor after another

dead rising, more like dead falling (OH MY GOD HE USED THE SAME AWFUL JOKE TWICE WHAT AN ASSHOLE)

wolf among us, yeah i guess it's probably alright if you like shitty art design and also werewolves are stupid

remember me? nobody will remember this game

magrunner dark pulse sounds like a fucking assisted suicide facility