I've been wanting to write about my issues and grievances with Mass Effect 2 for quite some time, it seems to me everyone is so in love with the game, and rightfully so i should say. Well maybe i should start with this, Mass Effect 2 is easily the best game of 2010 so far, between the dramatic story the vastly improved combat, to characters that make some real life actors skills seem like junk in their ability to convey emotions. 
But on to the main reason im writing this, i feel that for a game that was touted as the "dark second chapter", things can end up pretty damn tidy, now im not saying that Bioware failed, because in all honesty i cant think of a way to make the story darker, or pack a more emotional punch, but i feel like even when things do get bad, maybe not story wise but within a character relationship it seems way to easy to patch it up, and then go on as if it never happened.
Take the fight between Miranda and Jack, at first i was forced to choose and the other character (Jack in my case) quickly fell out of loyalty with me, which to me seemed justified, but 2 hrs later i went down to speak to her and was able to clear that all up. This seems to counter against what Bioware had been saying, with all of your actions have consequences and dealing with those consequences are part of the mission, well not if i can say 3 lines of dialogue and everything is a.OK again.  
This extends to the survivability of the individual characters in the final mission on the Collector Ship/ Base, survivability came down to picking the right choice in a multiple choice question, WHAT, when asked who i would send in the vents i choose Legion figuring he would not be affected by the gas in the vents, but a friend of mine picked Jacob because he voluntered, and so Jacob takes one in the head. This entire system seems counter-intuitive to all the loyalty missions that you do through out the game, since if a character is not in Bioware's eyes the right choice, that character will not survive. 
Also the whole happy ending seems to go against the suicide mission vibe, how can absolutely everyone survive the ship not be destroyed all the characters loyal to you, and the threat to the galaxy stopped (for now). Somebody should have died, i strongly believe Shepard should have gone in with "red shirts" (Star Trek) or cannon fodder, to make it seems like this mission really was extremely dangerous and to add more chaos to the mission. Instead everyone who goes in can come out, granted after making the right decision but still.
Sorry about the rant, just felt like i needed to vent on the issues since people tend to cling to the good and ignore the bad, which should never be the case, as Amazing as Mass Effect 2 is, there are issues and people need to be aware of them to make sure Bioware catches on and  hopefully learn from the mistakes.

i sorta get what your saying but if shepard die who would lead the fight against the reapers and you can die and so can most of the characters.

First, I wouldn't say everyone loves the game, because the complaints you raised have been voiced here over and over and over again.
 
I think a good portion of players did lose characters their first time through (which is why the thread for getting everyone through the mission alive was so damned long). And on the harder difficulty levels, it is far more difficult to pull everyone out alive. If you are a completionist kind of player, then obviously you're going to do all the side missions and loyalty missions and come out on top. But this is an RPG, after all, and you can role-play how you like. You've actually got to go out of your way to get Sheppard killed. If you want to play that way, you can. As for the "multiple choice" thing at the end, you have to know your characters. If you know them, and what their strengths are, you'll make it through. But only if you've gained their loyalty. I'm not sure how else you'd do this.
 
The fact is, the game gives you a lot of control over the outcome. More control that I've seen in any other game like it. Bioware seemed to know that people would attach to certain characters and hate others. And the game gives you the option of emerging at the end only with those you like. Or you can kill the ones you like, if you want. Say you struck up a relationship with Thane. You can script the game by your choices to keep him alive, or have him dead. That will set the stage for Mass Effect 3.
 
So I'm not sure what everyone is complaining about with the choices. Bioware gave us the option of doing pretty much whatever we want to the crew. If you choose to keep them all alive, that is your choice. You are by no means forced, as you would be in most games, to keep them all alive. You can choose to have a dark ending to the game. You can choose to get everyone out alive. If Bioware had made it impossible to get everyone out alive, perhaps that would have made the game darker, but people would have complained about it as well. I remember people complaining about Mass Effect 1 that you had to lose either Ashley or Kaidan, and were pissed that they couldn't keep both alive. I think Bioware's choice here to give us the choice is better. The game only ends tidily if you do very nearly everything right. Otherwise, people on your crew will die. If you don't upgrade your guns, people die. If you don't gain their loyalty, people die. If you don't choose the right man or woman for the job in the end, people die. It's a lot of choices to make.
 
I thought the game was pretty dark with, you know, entire colonies being literally liquefied. But hey, that's just me.