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Splitterguy

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Ranking of Animal Crossing: New Horizons Villagers

I've decided to rate every villager/character that appears on my Animal Crossing: New Horizons island as I happen upon them, based purely on how much I like or dislike them. This is a living document and will be updated as I interact with more villagers. Substitutions will be made in place of villagers that don't appear in Giant Bomb's wiki. I'm the furthest thing from an AC completionist, so this list will abruptly end at some point, which I'll note here. Special event characters also count.

List items

  • I love Flick. Flick is gonna be tough to beat on my AC: New Horizons special character tier list. They nailed the outsider artist-vibe he's got, and his enthusiastic reverence for bugs, the one element of wildlife that seems to be loathed by the rest of the cast, does a lot to balance things out. He's hilarious, charming, and I hope his Etsy store takes off one day.

  • Pate doesn't exist on the GB wiki, which is a shame because she's an early favorite of mine and all the sadder considering she left my village a few days ago (making this an in memorium entry). Pate's *mad* psyched at all times, completely self-obsessed, and seems to be operating under the delusion that she's either an American pop star or a Japanese idol of some kind. She's a steam train of energy directed towards nothing in particular. RIP.

  • Blathers is a top-tier Animal Crossing character in general, but he loses some points for me in New Horizons. Every time I hand him a new fossil, fish, or insect, he tells me he 'never thought' he'd see such fine specimens of whatever I brought in that day; in other words, every time I donate items to his museum, Blathers lies to me. Listen, buddy. I've given you this Deinonychus torso before. This ain't my first rodeo. Don't patronize me.

  • Katt is so far one of the only villagers I've really gotten attached to. She rocks. Her personality trait (apparently, according to the AC wiki) is the nebulous 'sisterly' type, which probably explains why I've never gotten a firm grip on her. She seems to spend all her time hanging out, not working, and screaming at me about stuff. She rocks a gold chain. Has fangs. Would probably back you up if a fight broke out.

  • One of my original two villagers. Teddy's from the old school, so much so that he feels prototypical and lacks distinct features. I realize Animal Crossing villagers come in 'types' and that Teddy is an early 'jock' type, but that's all he is. He's worryingly one dimensional - like, he's so singularly obsessed with fitness that I'm worried he's hiding some key aspect of his past or personality behind the facade of a fitness maniac. Possibly caught in some kind of fitness-based MLM.

  • Genuinely laughing out loud at this image of a Fallout 3 NPC against the other AC characters. Maggie's whole thing is that she's extremely nice. She waters flowers for you, frets over your safety and generally adds an air of pleasantry to your island of misfit animal freaks. But she's almost...too nice? She's the kind of person whose hobby is other people, so she doesn't have much to do or talk about on her own. Would say hello if I saw her on the street, would not hang out in a non-group setting if offered.

  • Look: controversial to say this, but Isabelle has been hired by Tom Nook to run this island in his stead so he can focus on money grubbing. She's effectively Tom Nook's HR department, and she is not to be trusted. Isabelle is a master manipulator, is what I'm saying.

  • Klaus is a bear who LARPs as Julius Ceaser to an almost psychotic extent. If I could fault other villagers like Teddy or Maggie for lacking any discernable personality, I certainly couldn't do so with Klaus, but all the same this is an irritating thing to do. Imagine if you were so singularly committed to roman history that you modeled your home with mock-ancient furniture and wore costumes every day. Weird guy. Every day I go outside to do my rounds, he's usually fishing someplace but he's both bad at fishing and seems to hate it. When I talk to him during his fishing trips he barks the same line about how it's boring and he's falling asleep. So why do it, man? No one's asking you to fish. Is Klaus some kind of meta criticism of Animal Crossing inside Animal Crossing?? IDK, either way, doing something no one asked you to do and then loudly complaining about it on a daily basis is one of the worst things I could imagine a roommate doing, and AC villagers are effectively roommates, so Klaus has earned himself a low spot on this list.

  • Again, just sitting here laughing at this character art in relation to AC's visual style. Anyway, Drago - a clumsy golden dragon and not a stern looking elderly gentleman who probably developed a weapon of mass destruction in a Metal Gear game as this portrait would suggest - is offputting to me. I don't know what it is, but he's kinda a drag. I avoid him sometimes. His whole personality seems to be that he's a dumb guy? He wrote me a letter apropos of nothing in which he, quote, "congrabulatored" me on expanding my home. Maybe he's just high all the time? I don't really get it.

  • So...listen. Gulliver seems nice enough. He has a great attitude. But his stupid 'run around digging for cell phone parts on the beach' minigame is a huge pain in the ass. Every time he washes up on my island I want to abandon him on the beach. I should probably start doing that, but it feels weird having a hungover, pants-less, disoriented man washed up on my island unattended, mumbling about liquor under his breath to passersby.

  • Where does Orville live? Do they let Orville sleep?

  • This man will sell you counterfeit goods, which you cannot sell or donate. He's a grifter, but his grift doesn't place your livelihood in a never-ending state of precarity and is not inherently extortionist, so he ranks higher than Tom Nook.

  • I am not psyched that C.J. has introduced the concept of the Youtuber to my fantasy getaway island.

  • You can ask this man to fly you to an unoccupied island. If you're bitten by a tarantula on that island, Wilbur will nonchalantly let you know that he almost watched you die. Sociopath.

  • OK, so this hilariously out of context entry is supposed to represent Gullivarrr, who is Gulliver's pirate cousin. My thoughts on Gullivarrr are largely the same as Gulliver. He's one more weird, chore-generating problem to annoy me now and again. He's a little more explicit about the liquor and partying, which makes him even skeevier, but his minigame demands you dive for cell phone parts rather than dig for them, which is a way more time-consuming ask. I think what annoys me the most about these two is the rigamarole they give you before assigning you work. Like - shut the fuck up, weirdo! I get it. Go find the dumb trinkets and you give me a rug or whatever. Fine.

  • I don't love that this ghostly husk of a creature has been forced into the construction industry equivalent of Salvation Army volunteer work for the rest of his afterlife. Do not love having to interact with him, and there's no way whatever they're having him do intersects with any common practice labor laws. This is all probably Tom Nook's fault.

  • You couldn't make an Animal Crossing game without Tom Nook, but he's an irredeemable shithead landlord, now enabled to operate outside of the bounds of the law. This whole 'Nook Miles' concept is fraudulent. I'm very obviously being caught in some kind of Ponzi scheme. You're telling me I have to pay for both my home AND complete the labor of building it, just to allow other villagers to live in my village, who ALSO pay him? And the amount of money I earn from that labor he alone decides? This is not a good man. Do not trust this man.

  • This guy sucks. He appears on your island out of nowhere on a weekly basis and explodes when you say hello to him. Afterwards he guilts you for having the gall to interact with him in the first place and demands you catch his gooey body parts in a net. When you do, he asks the weirdly philosophical question 'do you like new things or expensive things,' at which point he sends you some random crap you may or may not want. This happens over and over and over again every single week.
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