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tonicmole

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Why games can't make money, honey.

It easy and fairly effective to compare the gaming industry with that of the 1990's comic industry.  Both have the same demographic, both have the almost identical rabid following and both have had surges due to "non core demographic" interest.  The reason this is useful is because the comic industry is all but done for and limps on feeding off of game and movie adaptions to legitimize their existence.  Now if you ask a game industry insider if video games could go the way of the comic book they would scoff at you and explain how the two industries are completely different.   Much in the same way that all industries scoff at the possibility of there end days.


The facts are that the gaming industry are following in the exact footsteps of their predecessor and have already begun their downward spiral.

Exhibit A:  During the 90's limited edition embossed covers where all the rage and seemed harmless enough.  The problem is you get a lot of collectors of embossed covers and no fans.  So when they realize the comic is worthless because this "limited" edition actually sold 200,000 issues, they move on to something else.  Games have in the past few years been taking an alternate yet similar route to destruction.  Limited and collectors editions selling for $20 more seems like a fine idea, but psychologically the consumer feels forced into purchasing the "better" edition only to find there is little to no benefit in doing so.  This is also true for the reissue of handhelds every year.  

Exhibit B:  Currupt, and or unprofessional journalism played a very important roll in the demise of the comic industry.  Many fans and collectors looked towards the comic industry journalists to give them a clear view of what was really happening with their favorite comic only to be led to the slaughter.  This was never more true then with the Death Of Superman.  This event was actually the most influential event in the collapse of the comic industry ,but to this day has gone unnoticed.  Basically what happened was that DC Comics announced they where killing Superman off, which was fair enough.  This caused everyone and their grandmother to rush to the comic stores to obtain their piece of history.  Long before the issue was released it was obvious to anyone remotely into the industry  that this was not a permanent death.  There for it meant nothing.  First off, not a single Superman series stopped production.  How can you have a Superman comic with no Superman?  Second, super heroes die all the time, but they always come back,so why would this be different?  Every comic journalist realized this was a scam, yet decided to just go along for the ride.  The result is that the comic everyone thought would be worth hundreds is now barely worth the paper it was printed on, and millions of readers realized that nothing matters.  Readers ship confidence was dramatically weakened, but unfortunately no one noticed until Batman temporarily broke his back, Xavier temporarily died, The X-men were temporarily reinvented 4 or 5 times before going back to normal, and Spider-man became a clone of himself.  Despite all of this change, not a single one of them held on longer then a year or two, in fact the only thing it did change was the amount of people reading comics.  They went from print runs of hundreds of thousands to under one hundred thousand in a 5 year span.  The gaming industry is as bad if not worse off then the comic industry when it comes to proper coverage, mainly when a specific consoles is involved.  It's bad enough that game coverage is little more then advertisements, it's worse when they print a companies press releases as facts with no follow up.   Whether it's the red ring of death, the actual power or lack of in the PS3, or Nintendo's questionable business practices, we are left to fend for ourselves.  Occasionally they'll pat themselves on the back for saying Two Worlds wasn't the best game ever or that the Xbox 360 has a couple of design flaws ,but all in all gaming journalists are paid to sell you more games, and unfortunately this is the exact thing that can cause a collapse of consumer trust in an industry.

Exhibit C:  This is actually the bread and butter of the collapse of any industry and shows the lack of intelligence behind all industry.  It all begins with a surge in sales.  The industry, what ever it may be, misinterprets this "surge" as growth.   The difference is very important.  Growth is a steady increase in sales which eventually peaks ,yet stays relatively healthy.  A surge is a different beast altogether.  It explodes very rapidly over a 3 or 4 year period and then quickly drops to a normalized position.  The danger is that if you prepare for growth during a surge like the comic industry in the 90's or the gaming industry in the past 5 years, you are betting every thing on continued expansion.  If you do so and the industry suddenly normalizes you find your self bankrupt in a fairly descent market, because you borrowed and spent money based on estimated growth, and not on what you actually had.  You bet on an inflated market, not a normal one.  Marvel comics made the same bet when they bought TOPPS trading card company.  About that same time the market slowed in both non-sport trading cards and comics and Marvel went Bankrupt in 1999, following the largest surge in entertainment ever scene.  So where did all the money go?  They spent all of it, betting they would make more.  Was it their fault?  Yes, because they where stupid.  There are people paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to know the difference between a surge and growth, and they are wrong every time.  You see children, the trick is knowing that there is no such thing as growth in the entertainment industry.  Eventually only the strongest and smartest survive.  Ubisoft is a prime example of slow and steady.  EA and Activision are a prime example of jackass'.

Now, I realize that this could go on for ever ,but the rest is up to your imagination to figure out.  Will Nintendo's casual gamers leave them high and dry?  Probably.  Will the entire industry fall......no doubt.
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Why we hate reviewers and hope they burn in Hell!

You ever read a review of a game and think to yourself, "This guy is an F'n moron and I hope he chokes on a penis!"  Of course you have.  I'd imagine everyone has pondered why reviewers appear either bought and paid for or plain mentally deficient.   The reasons are actually fairly straight forward.


A.) Paid for:  It would be insane to think that money does not sometimes have something to do with it, but actually not as much as you would imagine.  So, yes it happens, but not always.

B.) Culture Pollution:  The culture around gaming can warp view points and skew the minds of those tightly connected with it.  This happens in all mediums.  You ever wonder why Ebert always praised the crappiest movies and then condemned the biggest block buster.  As you grow to love a medium your mind begins to warp and you begin looking for the odd or unique, so much that you are drawn to the worst.  Take abstract art for instance.  It is not as good as real art, but it's different so those in the art world can't help but think it is something when it is in fact nothing.  They will of course defend it with opinion in the comment section, despite logic dictating that random splatters and circles are merely graphic design at best, and hold no deeper meaning other then, "sucker!".  A great example is the praise given to Street Fighter 4.  Though the game is some what enjoyable, it is a 2D fighter with good graphics and ancient A.I.  So the game is not bad, but it is less of a revelation and more of a novelty.  Yet, reviewers will go down in flames before they question why a fairly aged 2D fighter is the same price as Fallout 3.  This is the culture of games hard at work.  No 3D fighter, no matter how superior, would be allowed to surpass this gem.   Yet, we praise games such as Killer 7 and No More Heroes, despite not being all together playable.  That's peer pressure at work for you.  

C.)  They are stupid:  What I mean is they think we give a crap about what they think, when we don't.  We want to know if the game works properly.  You see, opinions are like ass holes, every one has one, but few want to see them.  Reviews are supposed to focus more on the actual logic of whether or not the game is good for it's intended audience.   Example:  I loved playing Bikini Samurai Squad, but the game was terrible.  The graphics where ungood, the camera was piss poor, and the over all game felt cheap.  Me liking it was merely a matter of me liking stupid stuff sometimes, but I would never recommend the game to anything living.  I'd give it a 4 out of 10 despite playing for hours on end.  So, see how that worked?  I loved the game, but understood that it was bad at the same time.  Thats Logic vs. opinion.  I know that most will hate the game so I review accordingly.  Now I would also leave in the fact that I enjoyed it ,but stress that I'm insane for doing so.  Another example would be Call of Duty.  I don't like them ,but I realize that it's just me and it does not factor in to the over all quality of the game, so I'd give it a 8 out of 10 or something. 

In conclusion game reviews are nothing more then 20 to 30 something nerds flying their fanboy flag with no grasp of what they are actually supposed to be doing and occasionally they get paid to say they liked an Eidos game.  THE END
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Midway will suck you off for a Cheeseburger!

Looking for someone to polish your sacred staff of eternal darkness?  Ya horny?  Give Midway a call!  They are very open to about anything you could want.  You got the caps, they got no shame.  They need money crazy bad!  You can get the Mortal Kombat franchise and a pinky in your ass for $20

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M$ can see you moving!

Rumors have been spinning around ,via Kotaku.com, that Microsoft has moved in the purchase a tech company called 3DV who is working on a motion sensing web cam they refer to as the ZCAM.  This might sound like the vision camera that already exists ,but the company claims it can sense movement far beyond that of the Wii sensor bar.  Best case scenario, is an awesome Vision camera with only one game.  The future looks.......well, the same as the past, but more expensive.

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Sexual Organs vs Church Organs

Originally this game went by the name
Originally this game went by the name "Dong Police 2099: Secret Scrotum Patrol."
It is unlikely for you to see a wiener controlled by the awesome power of the Havok physics engine on any major console, unless you count Sporn.


Sexuality in console games has always been some what of a no no, and only recently have nipples blazed a brave trail for all us polygonal perverts out there.  On the other hand the PC has had every possible perversion converted into an interactive extravaganza of one handed gameplay.  This, of course is because a console and the games released on it are under the direct control of one company, where as PC's are open to anyone and their grandmother.   

Online porno games have reached insane heights of technical prowess, such as the 3-D sex sim Sexvilla, which is in many ways comparable to any Xbox 360 game in terms of graphics .  Across the great blue oceans of yore, the Japanese have been crafting interactive nudicities that range from the casual dating sim that work much like an anime gallery, to virtual monstrosities that would make the most violent sex offender shutter in utter blood vomiting horror, but I digress.  Console games have slowly edged forward, (or backward) in terms of sex in games, and it is now quite common for nudity to play some part in some M rated games.  On the hand it's surprising the games that don't have nudity.  Like GTA 4, or Saints Row.  I can shank and old lady, or shoot some one in the knee and then stomp them to death as they try and crawl away, and now that I think of it you can even do the nasty with a hooker, or go to a strip joint, yet through all this not a bare booby in sight.   Part of this is due to American's view that violence is better then sex, but industry wise it is more complex then that.  Many games in the past that have had strong sexual themes rely on that alone giving some one the impression that anything with strong sexual themes is automatically bad.  A few games have braved the storm in the past few years opening up developers to try and be a little naughty.  Mass Effect had human on alien action, and GTA upped the hooker animations, but most of all God of War has pushed a lot of Dev's to start adding boobs to their action games, in an almost random fashion.  CHOP, CHOP, BOOB.  It's actually hilariously stupid.   The attempts to keep games censored has actually made things worse.  Eventually it will burst wide open spewing the most nastiest gut wrenching porno you've ever hidden under your bed across your screen in mind shattering 1080p.  It'll be like being locked in a tipped over  port-a-potty with a grenade in your back pocket as you careen down the interstate at 80 miles an hour into on coming traffic.......and for some bizarre reason you gotta boner.   

I don't think that allowing obscene sex in games will in any way help the industry, or open doors for artistic freedoms.  It's more about the danger of repression and what that can spawn.   Even more absurd is the bizarre contrast of allowing gun shots to pop Nazi heads like a porcupine at a balloon festival, and then screaming in terror when a boob sneaks a peak out side the conservative safety of a wonder bra. 
5 Comments

I killed a Unicorn and it crapped a Rainbow!

This is not a Video Game, or a Lamp. It's a stupid painting.
This is not a Video Game, or a Lamp. It's a stupid painting.
Crapping Unicorns reminds me of the age old question.  Are Video Games an art form? 

Whether games constitute as an art form has been a long winded debate, full of uped noses and sometimes crying.  Inside of the industry they say "Hell yeah, dog!", and then cash their pay check and touch themselves while watching imported japanese snuff films.  Ebert says no, but he is a fat sack of crap, so we must rely on Wiki, the god of knowledge, for our answers.......then again I find Wiki is an equally confusing fat sack of crap, and just blabs on, and on, about sissies, dandies, and finker doodles, so we will go to the GREAT BOOK OF WORDS, aka. The Dictionary.  


"Art: The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power."- The Dictionary 


Hmmmm, this implies that, though some games may very well be art, music may not count.  Britney Spears, NO.  Silent Hill, maybe!  At closer examination this definition sucks a monkeys mini, so let's go directly to the book of Tonic.

"Art:  A component of Entertainment which delivers insightful messages relating, but not limited to, emotion, social commentary, moral and ethical issues, visions, or any description of a beings personal perception for the use of engaging, or stimulating the thought pattern of another beings mental state. Entertainment can exist without Art, but Art is dependent  on Entertainment to separate itself from any other inanimate object, and is often left to opinion."- Tonicmole


So, I guess nothing is Art, but sometimes Art is in something.  Unless that something is nothing.  Then it's just a lamp......can Art be in a lamp?  I guess so.  So I guess our final conclusion is that Art can be IN games, but games themselves are just Entertainment.  So.........no, games cannot not be Art, because that would be like saying a car is a bananna, or a door is a hat.  A lamp can not be Art because it's a lamp stupid, but it can have Art in it.....I think.  Suck on that Ebert, you stupid fat sack of crap! 



5 Comments

Star Whores: The Bone Wars

Star Bores, Bwa, hahahahahahaha!

So, we have all come to grips with the fact that Episode 1-3 are not as entertaining as 4-6 were, and that they were more like useless tack-ons, but I find it odd that everything since, like the games, cartoons and so on, have been gap filler, as if no more stories are left to be told so they'll just tell you what Yoda did on spring break.  This bothers me because there are so many unanswered questions about the Star Wars Universe itself.  Example:  What was the first Alien race to make contact with another?  Where are the other Yoda's?  Where did the humans come from?  Who developed all of the Technology?  Who was the first Jedi?  What was the ancient Jedi like?  
Now, I'm not a real big fan of Star Wars, but as a kid I liked the original movies, and I find it odd that they stick to a 40 to 50 year time period in an unknown galaxy.  What if there was one super race that spread all of the technology and then died out?  What if an Ewok was a Jedi?  What if the first Jedi could destroy planets with their brain powers?  What if they focused on someone other then Skywalkers?  Just a thought.  A lot is wasted with the franchise, out of fear of leaving the safety zone of the battle between the Jedi's and the Empire.  So much that it, has in so many years, made the universe of the Skywalkers feel shallow in comparison to that of similar franchises.  Boring it has become.  Care, I do not.
Lonely I have become. End my life I will.
Lonely I have become. End my life I will.
 
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The Rise and Fall of the Pro Skater

Since the release of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on the PS 1, the franchise has been without question the king of alternative sports games, and in many ways defined the expectations of games to follow.

  Matt Hoffman's BMX, Aggressive Inline, Amped, Cool boarders, each had their time in the spot light, but all failed to sustain the momentum needed to get their own cut of the market.   This is partially due to that none of the extreme sports they where based on have the ongoing popularity that skate boarding has relished in.  On the other hand, even skate boarding games not linked to the Hawk man have been hit with devastating failure.  This is usually due to poor quality and short development time, but non the less has left Tony Hawk unchallenged.  Each year Tony Hawk has been released, and each year the game manages to add to their solid base.  Tony Hawk 2 introduced create-a-skater, Tony Hawk 3 introduced female skaters and brought the game to the PS 2.  Tony Hawk 4 elaborated on all these ideas and gave the player the freedom to roam the levels without a time limit.  The fourth was a peak for the franchise and Neversoft felt it was time for a change, so in the next installment they dropped the Pro Skater, and went for Underground.  Underground marked the largest change for the franchise since it's introduction and thus had the most problems.  It introduced a story based game, and allowed the player to roam the levels on foot and even in a car.  The customization was greatly increased, and was the focal point for the entire game.  Unfortunately, the expanded character creator often produced awkward character models, and the expanded game mechanics suffered from instability removing much of the precision that the franchise had been known for.  Many of the new mechanics such as being  to drive cars were so badly executed that it marred the new overall out come of the installment.  In the end though, THUG still was able to introduce the new direction and though it was not as solid as past entries it moved the franchise forward.  The follow up, Underground 2 reintroduced most of the features of THUG 1 along with many of it's own and was thought by many fans and critique's as one of the best of the series, though a section of fans did not like the new story based game play.   THUG 2 also focused more on Bam Margera ,from CKY, Jackass and Viva La Bam, then Tony Hawk and even featured Bam's dad, Phil.  The story pulled a heavy influence from CKY and Jackass, making it more about bodily functions, and groin shots then actual skate boarding, but delivered such an overall entertaining package that it stood out as a shining success in franchise renewal.   Neversoft and Activision had  everything needed for continued success with Tony Hawk, but then everything went horribly wrong.  The next game, American Wasteland,  boasted sand box style game play and no loading screens once you start playing.  All this seemed great, but when the game was released fans and critiques where stunned to see just how much content had been removed for no apparent reason.  Many creator options such as the ability to create a female skater were removed and replaced with cookie cutter pick your character schemes and a painfully slow game progression focused on bringing in new gamers rather then entertaining long time fans.  The final blow came when the only major addition turned out to be more of an illusion.  Though the game never actually stopped to load the next level, you were forced to skate through a long tunnel, which was no more then a slightly interactive loading screen.  The games failure was a devastating blow to the franchise, but with no competition they would always have another year.    Tony Hawk Project 8 marked a new beginning for Tony, featuring complex shadows, lush environments, and Mocap animations to match the new next generation graphics.  Project 8 was a descent come back in comparison to American wasteland, but was still far from the vast customization of THUG 2.   The game successfully brought back the game play expected from Tony, and many fans where held over in hopes that the 9th Tony Hawk would take Project 8 and add the customization and variety back to the franchise.  This was a simple request, yet Neversoft chose a different path.  At the very same time it had been announced that EA was prepping their own game called Skate. but due to Tony Hawk's long lasting success, many felt Skate. had little chance of overtaking the king.   Or so that was the common belief, until Tony Hawk: Proving Ground hit the shelfs right along with Skate.  THPG was mind boggling in every possible way, due to the fact that it was in essence the next generation version of American Wasteland, which almost ended the franchise 2 years earlier.  Instead of adding features to Project 8, they removed and mismatched even more.  Awkward game mechanics where forced into its shallow presentation and despite a handful of interesting additions it failed to finish was project 8 had begun.  Fans, due to word of mouth or first hand experience, quickly moved to EA's Skate.  Skate. on it's first outing stomped Tony Hawks damaged franchise.  The failure was so devastating that Tony Hawk 10 was canceled by Activision, who promised a full on reinvention to the franchise in 2009.  Unfortunately for Tony the damage that the franchise has repeatedly taken the past 3 years has only made it that much easier for Skate. to take the thrown, and with Skate. 2 coming out March of 09 with now challenger it looks that it is unlikely for the Hawk man to make it to 11, short of a intervention from God.  Activision has bet the entire franchise on a skate board peripheral that will come with Tony Hawk 10.   Though peripherals have had success with games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band, this will ask the fans to pay around $100 for the next installment of a aged franchise that has burned them more then once already.  It will be over a year before we see if Tony can make another come back, and with the Skate. franchise already in the lead, time is not on the Hawk mans side. 
Reporter:
Reporter: "So Tony, what do you think of the new Skate. video game?" Tony Hawk: "I am rider skate board."
3 Comments

The Console Police Action Round 2

"Already topped by Nintendo and feeling the heat of a surging Sony, Microsoft is increasingly looking at scoring the bronze in a three-man race for this console generation. This week, however, the hardware maker made its most aggressive move yet to stay competitive. Solidifying long-standing rumors, Microsoft slashed the price of all three Xbox 360 models in Japan--and then made a similar move in North America--so that its lowest-tier SKU undercuts Nintendo's best-selling Wii by $50."

This was a news story on GAMESPOT about Ninja Blade for the Xbox 360.  Weird huh?  The opening paragraph never quite gets to the point.  Instead it makes some sort of bizarre claim that the PS 3 has out sold the Xbox 360.  Which so far is not quite true.   One could debate back and forth on to whether the PS 3 can overtake the 360, but what it's really about is a journalist trashing a console, on a story about a game announcement.   This has been around for a long time, and is the soul reason gaming journalism can never be taken too seriously.   Look back a few years to when they claimed the original Xbox would over take the PS 2, or that the Gamecube would rally around Wind Waker.  Gaming news is no more then gaming opinion.  So, try to focus on the experiences the the developers create for you, and leave the business to the suits.
"I think I saw the Xbox 360 run into that hole.......get the flame thrower."
3 Comments

Delays and the Media that Loves them

The gaming media has been supporting game delays, stating that they allow time to bring a better game to the consumer, but is this really the case?

Magazines and internet outlets that focus on games have stated that it is better to have a game delayed then to release an unpolished product.  In theory this is obviously true, but a quick look back will show that delays rarely produce a AAA game.  The reason is that delays usually reflect a more terminal problem rather then a mere polishing job.  No publisher will allow a delay merely on the basis of adding extra content, or perfecting the physics engine unless it is a matter of life and death.  
A few examples that reflect this are Too Human, and Kameo.  Kameo was in the works for 3 console generations before landing on the 360 in 05'.  Though the game was above average, nothing reflected the extensive time spent on it.  Like wise Too Human saw delay after delay before finally reaching store shelves to a luke warm reception.   Too Human was delayed due to problems with the Unreal Engine and the team had to start from scratch leaving little time for polish.  A delay does not equal utter failure ,but it in no way symbolizes success.  A similar situation can be seen with early game demos.  Writers will repeat over and over that it is an early build and that they will surly fix the problems before release.  Let me tell you, they NEVER FIX ANY THING IN A DEMO.  What you see is what you get.  When the Halo 3 Beta came out every one thought that they would surly gloss up the graphics before the release........nope.  By the time a demo is released they are too far along for fixing anything.  

In the end it is the developers job to meet dead lines and to, at the same time, produce a quality product.  I understand that the job is not easy ,but there are a lot worse jobs out there, trust me.  200 men, should be able to, with in 2 years create a beautiful game, with amazing story telling, flawless execution, and unique engrossing gameplay.  If you think these guys are under paid, then your insane.  Construction workers are paid a lot less and a lot more is expected from them.  It is time for the Gaming industry to grow up and take responsibility for itself and it's actions.  I understand if a game must be delayed, but don't act like we should like it.
"Tell General Ramm to wait for us, cuz we need some polish!"
1 Comments
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