Top Hat Fraternity- The First Class
By Tuddlesworth 32 Comments
Imagine a group of top hat-wearing assassins, laying waste to any dapper-malnourished simpleton with the testicular fortitude to raise fisticuffs against them. I have put together a group twice as badass and thrice as gentlemenly. Consider this an X-Men: First Class parody... with better actors.
Fred Astaire
Picture that handsome devil swinging a sword whilst performing Puttin' On The Ritz. If that doesn't work, watch the video. He just killed 100 imaginary ruffians Bayonetta-style. This guy is smooth and was a major inspiration to Sammy Davis Jr and Micheal Jackson. Frank is one of the reasons why I think top hats are awesome.
V
Is an explanation even necessary? Also, British accents coupled with killing makes good times.
Shirley Temple
Imagine this little ball of sunshine armed with a streetsweeper, singing Animal Crackers. She says that she loves swallowing animals, that's pretty badass. Don't you think that would send a chill down anyone's spine? She was even homefellows (homeboys for the non-dapper) with Franklin D. Roosevelt. Also, my mother adores Shirley Temple and my mother raised a gentleman!
Pierrot the Clown
Now be a gentleman and read this before you go Chris Breezy and express your utter distaste for anime. Cowboy Bebop was created by gentlemen, for gentlemen. He wears a maniacal grin upon his face whilst parting soul from flesh. Every team needs a creepy bastard. He also floats.
Willy Wonka/Gene Wilder
Don't get me wrong, Johnny Depp is cool, but Gene Wilder will always be the true Willy Wonka. The Chocolate Factory would be an excellent headquarters for our social club. We would have Morgan Freeman (and Oompa-Loompas) engineering weapons and vehicles.
This concludes my second blog. I do hope you enjoyed it.