Wanna Wrestle? Vol. 6 - Anal Bleeding and Diet Soda

We've made progress!

Anal Bleeding

So uh... that was weird.

Last week, Mark Henry attacked Jim Ross during an interview, which is a shock to no one because the only times JR gives an interview to someone he's had his arm broken and he's been set on fire (didn't make that up). Anyways, this time Jerry Lawler decided to step in and save his good buddy from being choked to death by Mark Henry. While doing so, Lawler got the shit kicked out of him and took a slam through the announce table, becoming legitimately injured for a couple of weeks.

Fast-Foward to this week. During a short segment talking about what happened, Cole comes out of nowhere and decides to announce that "The King" is suffering from Anal Bleeding. Booker T gets caught in an awkward situation and doesn't know how to re-act, and JR looks disgusted at Cole for announcing it on public TV. I can only imagine that it was something that Vince McMahon told Michael Cole to say through the headset, but it came out of nowhere and ended up being semi-hilarious. The fact that the phrase "Anal Bleeding" trended on Twitter last night made it worth it though.

John, My Diet Soda.

Here's a fun video I made today and I would like you to watch it and like it and comment it:

It's another fun trope that CM Punk does, every time he's working the announcers table and Cena uses the table, Punk always complains about his Diet Soda being spilled. It was great to see him come out last night in his $10 announcers jacket and reclaim his seat during a Cena match. If Punk wasn't such a good headlining wrestler for the WWE, I would love it if he would replace Lawler/Cole as the heel announcer.

Anyways, Hell In A Cell is this sunday, and we once again have a WWE PPV where there are only four booked matches heading into the weekend. They pulled that kind of shit with Summer Slam, and I hope that they have learned from it since the buy rates went down by 50,000 viewers. But here's a quick prediction list of who I think should be winning each match.

John Cena (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk - Hell In A Cell Match

Who Should Win: Alberto Del Rio

Who Will Win: John Cena

Mark Henry (c) vs. Randy Ortan - Hell In A Cell Match

Who Should Win: Mark Henry

Who Will Win: Mark Henry

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly (c) - Divas Championship

Who Should Win: Beth Phoenix

Who Will Win: Kelly Kelly

Christian vs. Sheamus

Who Should Win: Christian (Because he needs to have... One More Match)

Who Will Win: Sheamus

18 Comments

Wanna Wrestle? Vol 5. - September PPV's Recap

Holy Shit folks, we still haven't gotten a Wrestling website for Whiskey Media? Then I guess I'll keep posting these on every site till we get one.

ROH Death Before Dishonor

Holy shit, ROH delivers here.

Highlights:

Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Stong - This match is easily a MOTY candidate (along with CM Punk/Cena and Edwards/Richards). "The Ringmaster's Challenge" is a brilliant match stipulation that I expect to see more of out of ROH. The conditions for a "Ringmaster's Challenge" match is 2/3 falls, first fall is pinfall only, second fall is submission only, and third fall (if necessary) is a 15 minutes iron man match. The match ended up lasting a little over 40 minutes long, and the entire match was back and forth, making both Strong and Edwards looking like legitimate contenders for Davey Richards title. Roderick hitting Edwards with nine backbreakers in the match looked painful as shit, but at the end of the day, Eddie Edwards got the win over Strong. (Match of the Year contender)

Ladder Wars 3. The Brisco Brothers vs. The All Night Express - Ladder Wars. LADDER WARS! LADDER FUCKING WARS! This match got bloody quick, and there were a number of solid bumps throughout the match. I would say that it was a shame that Edwards vs. Strong happened before this match, since it should have been the main event of the night (and a much better match than this one turned out to be). None the less, this was a good way to end the rivalry for these two tag teams, and I'm happy that All Night Express get their tag team title shot that they deserve.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Jacobs - Technically, this match never ended since Kevin Steen came out of nowhere after being fired two months ago (surprise), but for the fifteen minutes or so until Steen came out, this match was astoundingly good. All three (technically four if you count Steve Corino) of these men are all telling really good stories right now, and Kevin Steen could be the most interesting character in wrestling today. I fucking love that ROH is breaking the fourth wall to let Steen "fuck with the company". Throughout the week this week, the ROH Forums has been down because KEVIN STEEN HACKED INTO THE ROH FORUMS AND SHUT THEM THE FUCK DOWN. I mean, that's a great thread of story right there. I'm personally hoping that everyone involved in this match gets the bump into main event competition soon. The video below is Steen cutting a promo outside of the event Death Before Dishonor was held in.

Disappointments:

No ROH Titles were defended - Davey Richards is in Japan right now. The TV title hasn't technically been won by Jay Lethal yet (he wins it next week on ROH's new TV show). The Tag Team Champions (Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin) both fought in worthless singles matches. There was no point to most of the matches, even though they were all just fine, there was no point in why people were wrestling. Hopefully this is fixed by the weekly TV show, but ROH needs to learn how to have more than 2 feuds at a time.

TNA No Surrender

TNA continues to prove why they are the worst wrestling company on earth

Highlights:

Bobby Roode's Push - Bobby Roode is a wrestler that just looks like he should be a main eventer, and I'm glad to see that he finally might get that long term push that he's deserved for over a year now. He's been with the company for a good long time now, and he deserves a chance to headline a PPV. Winning the "Bound for Glory" series means that he'll get a shot against Kurt Angle. Now, the real question is do I think TNA will actually let its fantastic younger talent win the TNA Championship? The answer is doubtful unfortunately.

Austin Aries vs. Brian Kendrick - It seems that TNA has been making all of the wrong decisions recently with the TNA X Division. They're bringing in new wrestlers that are no good at all, they restricted the weight limit to the lighter guys (sorry Samoa Joe), and every X Division match is the opening match of every TNA event (when they are actually the best matches TNA has to offer). So seeing Aries win in a pretty good match at a PPV gives me a bit of faith for the future of the division. But it also pains me to know that TNA will never give Aries the chance to become a main eventer in that company.

Disappointments:

The Entire Show - Bubba Ray had two matches in one night. TWO MATCHES? The main event was a snooze fest between Sting, Mr. Anderson, and Kurt Angle where the end of the match had Angle winning because of Hulk Hogan's interference. Samoa Joe actually put on a boring match. There was a horrible women's match. The tag team match was also really bland. A great handful of talent hasn't been on TNA for a while now, which should cause worries for the company. Overall, the entire PPV was the same quality of a weekly TV show.

WWE Night of Champions

A bit underwhelming overall, but a solid PPV.

Highlights:

Miz/R-Truth vs. Air Boom (Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne) - In an interview after Triple H became COO of the WWE, he said that he wanted to bring the Tag Team division back as one of the most important divisions in the company. It definitely shows, since Air Boom has been a great team to hold the titles for the past month. The Miz and R-Truth is right now the best storyline going on in the WWE, and it's great that they're becoming the center of Raw recently. Both of them are great at doing the "conspiracy against them" gimmick, and there's a couple of times in the match where they yell at the referee to count the pinfall, and in The Truth's eyes you believe that he really thinks that the ref is going to cost them the match on purpose. The match ended in DQ after The Miz hits a referee in pure frustration.

Mark Henry winning - I don't care if every PPV match that Henry has had wasn't all that good. I do care that Henry has been around WWE for a good 15 years, and that he has deserved this title for a long time. I mean, he did an angle where he impregnated an 80 year old woman who gave birth to a hand for Christ's sake. Henry having the title opens the door for all Smackdown talent to try and challenge him. My fingers are crossed that he holds on to it for a long time, and him and Daniels Bryans have a hell of a match at Wrestlemania.

The crowd during Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix - It's fun to see a crowd give a shit about a Diva's Match. Night of Champions was held in Buffalo, NY which is the hometown of Beth Phoenix. Throughout the match was chants of "Kelly Sucks" and Kelly Kelly was booed out of the arena after another bullshit roll-up pin won her the match. I don't know why she is still the champion, since EVERY MATCH is won with a roll-up pin. Ugh. UGH I SAY!

Disappointments:

CM Punk vs. Triple H - This whole match isn't a disappointment. There are a handful of moments that a memorable from this match. CM Punk pulled off a "Shane-O-Mac" and gave Triple H an elbow drop through the Spanish Announce Table. Triple H gave a stiff chair shot to CM Punk's leg while it was wrapped around the ring post. This match unfortunately unfolded into a late WCW main event match, meaning there were about five or six interferences at the end and it made the ending bullshit no matter what.

Ranking The Big 3

  1. ROH - Death Before Dishonor IX
  2. WWE - Night of Champions 2011
  3. TNA - No Surrender 2011
11 Comments

Giant Bomb Best of Quick Looks Vol. 16: Truck Wars 2011

This is a part of the "I don't need a damn gimmick/banner" blog initiative.

Space Mahreens? Trucks? Nitus? Metal Door Keys? Why, it must be time for another Best of Quick Looks video!

Edit: Support Giant Bomb on Reddit if you have an account

Currently, my mac is not charging, so I did this on my friends mac... so expect less blogs/activity for about a week from me. Sadly, I wasn't able to catch WWE Night of Champions the other night, so I got nothing on that, but I was able to catch ROH's Death by Dishonor IX... so expect to see a bit of something about that later.

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What's been the best Quick Look Moments of the last two months?

AKA,the I might make another Best Of Quicklooks video and I don't exactly know where to start cause I've been slacking in keeping myself up-to-date on watching every single quick look on giant bomb so I'm going to be lazy and let you guys help me out cause I don't feel like sitting through and watching every single QL video at this moment thread.

Share'Em!

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Wanna Wrestle? #4 - The Art of Hitting Someone with a Microphone.

I'm doing these on all the whiskey sites until they make a Wrestling Site.

*pop*

I'm going to make a good long blog post before ROH and WWE's two PPV's this weekend, but I just felt like pointing out a pattern of something CM Punk has done every once in a while, and I'm thrilled that he continues to do it today. If you happened to have caught the tail end of Raw last night, then you might have witnessed a magical little nugget of promo making. Of course, someone might have silenced the microphones to shut off the "voice of the voiceless", but it seemed like it could be some technical issues. If it was the latter, then CM Punk and HHH perfectly improved around it.

Speaking of CM Punk hitting someone in the face with a microphone, lets go back to CM Punk's first ever heel turn. Ah, the memories... (Skip to 2:20)

And who can forget CM Punk's classic Royal Rumble moment, where he cuts promos during the Royal Rumble match... Zach Ryder gets the microphone bash towards the end...

24 Comments

The Giant Bomb CD: The CD: Volume 1 - Drop A Bomb On It

Whiskey Media Presents: The Giant Bomb CD: The CD: Volume 1 - Drop A Bomb On It

After messing around for a couple of weeks, I'm happy to share off this collection of songs with the community of the best website on the internet.

Are you easily offended by the word "Cunt"? Have you ever made some "Magic on the Blacktop"? Do you love your God-Damned Wii? Then the Giant Bomb album is for you! Yes You!

Song List:

Giant Bomb TV Intro - by Evan Brass

Giant Bomb Community Song - by Hamst3r

Magic on the Blacktop - by SNK / Street Hoops

Cunt - by Tebit

Interlude - by Wafflestomp

Ryan - by Nivi

Bombstep - by Hamst3r

Hot 97 - by TheLastNeo (if you're the guy with this youtube account, contact me so I know who you are)

Black POWER 2000 - by DJ Dain

Space Asshole - by Chris Remo

Download Here:

18 Comments

Wanna Wrestle? #3: Porn Stars and Evil Sin Cara

I'm doing these on all the whiskey sites until they make a Wrestling Site.

Albertooooooo Del Riiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooo

Fun piece of "lives before wrestling" content surfaced this week. You know Ricardo Rodriguez right? That fucking awesome guy that announces ADR(in a wonderful fashion) every single episode? Turns out that he was actually in a porn movie. Don't get your hopes up, he was just an extra in the scene, and after viewing this fine film myself, I can tell you that it was 100% him. He is also rocking an awesome looking NWA shirt while in the scene. Hopefully more stuff will surface about this, but it's really cool to see a guy that is passionate about the wrestling business become successful in it one day.

Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara

If you happened to have watched Super Smackdown last tuesday, you would witnessed the awful booking decision that was turning Sin Cara heel on Daniel Bryans. It should also be known to most that currently the man behind the Sin Cara mask as of right now is NOT the original Sin Cara. The original Sin Cara (Mistico) was originally suspended for 30 days for violating the wellness program, but Sin Cara was still being introduced to a lot of the WWE's viewers at the time (and the kids are going to fucking love any masked wrestler no matter what, so there's that other factor of merchandising opportunities that might hurt the company). So WWE did what they felt was right, get another mexican wrestler (this time, Hunico) to become Sin Cara. Now, my personal opinion right now is that Hunico is not as fast or defined as Mistico, but Mistico botches moves every fucking match so Hunico is a better fit as Sin Cara.

Anyways, Hunico has been Sin Cara on TV for a couple of weeks now, but WWE is letting Mistico handle all of the house shows. One thing leads to another and now the Hunico Sin Cara is a heel, which only means one thing:

Good Sin Cara vs. Evil Sin Cara

Fuck I love wrestling. We've seen the Doppleganger match a few times in the past. Off the top of my head, there's been a Kane vs. Evil Kane match, an Undertaker vs. Undertaker match, and we've seen Two Evil Doinks at one point in time... so enjoy all of these videos

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The Worst of the MTV VMA's 2011

I made my pointless predictions yesterday, and then I actually sat down to watch the annual trainwreck that is called the MTV Video Music Awards. Lots of expected wins and technical mishaps filled the awards. All of the awards were undeserved, except for the Best New Artist award which is the only award that the audience can vote for (shocker). Anyways, I made a little video recapping the night in the way I saw it happen... so without further adieu...

Justin Bieber dick jokes!

People walking in front of cameras!

OFWGKTA Trolling!

Katy Perry Cheese Hats!

OH MY! IT MUST BE THE WORST OF THE MTV VMA'S!

(since the youtube version failed, you don't get my witty annotations about Katy Perry's stupid hat, or the fact that Lil Wayne's guitar is completely silent)

95 Comments

Pointless Music Awards Predictions!

MTV's Video Music Awards are tonight... so if you're like me, this is a good night to purchase a case of beer and get pissed at the TV for 3 hours.

Personal Favorite

I know... I know... this is never going to get any airtime on MTV... but if you haven't checked it out yet, this video is my favorite of 2011. So watch it, if you will

Let's make some predictions!

Video of the Year:

Who should win: Beastie Boys. No music video this year stands out more than the "Make Some Noise". Yes, the celebrities make the video, but not just because they're celebrities, they all seem like they are huge fans of the Beastie Boys. Elijah Woods is the star of the video, but everyone else does a great job also. I've probably watched the video over 20 times, and each time I feel there's something new that I pick up on, which is what makes a great music video.

Who will win: Katy Perry. Because it's fucking MTV and they love this cheesy ass song.

Wildcard: Tyler, the Creator. No, Tyler will not win... hell, I don't think MTV gave him a performance slot for tonight(Beastie Boys didn't get one either), but it's great that his video was acknowledged by MTV seeing that I don't think it was ever played on the channel(or could be played on the channel). I think Tyler is young and a bit over-rated right now, but he could be a good talent down the road.

Best Male Video

Who should win: yawn....

Who will win: Cee-Lo Green. Fuck You.

Wildcard: Kanye West. He won't win, and I feel that his video for "Power" is miles above his video for "All of the Lights"... but I guess you get a lot of Rihanna side-boob in the latter... so there's that.

Best Female Video

Who should win: Lady Gaga. How was Born This Way not nominated for VotY? I'm not a huge defendant of Gaga, but her shit is much more interesting than Katy Perry's shtick.

Who will win: Katy Perry.

Wildcard: Adele. Good song, boring video.

Best New Artist

Who should win: Tyler, the Creator. Great video, true "new artist".

Who will win: Wiz Khalifa. MTV does understand what "new" means, right?

Wildcard: Kreayshawn. Giant Bomb's favorite gets a chance... somehow...

Other Predictions

  • At least three people accepting awards will beg MTV to promote more music
  • Tony Bennett has been brought in to pay tribute to Amy Winehouse... you know... because Tony Bennet is the most interesting choice that could have been made.
  • Kanye West and Jay-z will be the most interesting performance, Pitbull will have the worst performance(seriously... Pitbull is still around?).
  • Tribute to Brittney Spears will be a stupid waste of time.
  • OFWGKTA is presenting an award... so that'll be interesting
  • Seth Rogen will be high
  • In the past, the "House Band" was the highlight of every show (deadmau5, Travis Barker, The Raconteurs, etc) this year they got Jessie J... I don't know who that is either.
  • DJ Sway will think this years awards will be crazy
  • At least 4 Kanye West jokes will be attempted
15 Comments

The Construction of The Giant Bomb CD

Hello!

with the release of Tebbit's awesome "Cunt" song, I'm trying to think if we have a full album that has collected songs we all know and love from the website and the community.

With this in mind... we need to make said musical album. It wouldn't be too hard to get all the obvious stuff, but this is more of a "suggest song here" thread... then somebody (me) will collect it all, put it in some kind of order that makes since, and upload the folder somewhere and we can all download it and enjoy it to the fullest. Maybe the album can have some new songs if people(with talent) can add stuff... so here is a list of stuff on the top of my dome:

Giant Bomb Community Song - by Hamst3r

Giant Bombstep - by Hamst3r

Cunt - by Tebbit

Hot 97 Radio - thelastneo(on youtube, dunno giantbomb user)

Bombcast Break Music - by ???

E3 2011 Music - by ???

Stuff that is a maybe:

any of the Bombcast themes...

Jeff Sings

Life is Beautiful

Power

Space Asshole - by Chris Remo (or the live version)

Ok guys... what am I missing?

21 Comments