WerePaladin

So here's the thing.  Is River Song even human?  I don't think she is...  Let me explain my thoughts and let me see what you think about it.  Firstly, she demonstrates an ability to pilot the TARDIS which rivals (and betters) the Doctor's own.  When he tries to claim responsibility for teaching her, she states 'It's a pity you weren't available that day".  Now who else could teach her how to pilot a TARDIS if not the Doctor?  Considering there is (allegedly) only one Time Lord loose in the Universe apart from the Doctor, and given that the Master is unlikely to have taught her, how did she get so good? 
 
Secondly, the Bishop makes a comment to her about revealing to the Doctor who and what she is.  Now does this mean the fact that she is some sort of criminal?  I mean, you threaten someone with that sort of thing when they're a murderer, or a rapist, or something similar - that's when you say "I'll tell them what you are..."  But the Bishop later tells the Doctor that River Song was in "Stormcage", which sounds like some sort of prison.  So she's a criminal / murderer, but is that what she is?  Why would you describe a human as a "what"? 
 
Thirdly, she demonstrates an ability to write a message to the Doctor in Old High Gallifreyan, an extinct language.  Now, given that she's an archaeologist, it would be reasonable to assume she might have seen some of it around the place, but to learn it?  Is this something else the Doctor told her (apart from his true name)?  Or does she know the language because she might share something else with the Doctor? 
 
Fourthly, when River Song mentions the "Pandorica" (whatever that is), and the Doctor says "That's a fairytale", Doctor Song replies with "Aren't we all?".  She's a fairytale?  Like an extinct species that only has a member (or two) left in existence - say, the Time Lords? 
 
Some of you have probably figured out where I'm going with this, but for those of you haven't watched the classic series, I'll elaborate.  I think Doctor River Song is actually a Time Lady by the name of the Rani.  Back in the older series, there were actually three renegade Time Lords running amok in the universe - The Doctor, The Master and The Rani.  The Rani was an amoral scientist who wasn't specifically evil, but didn't let silly concepts such as ethics in the way of her research.  She clashed with the Doctor several times in the old series, and even once masqueraded as one of his companions shortly after his sixth regeneration.  The Rani would be able to pilot a TARDIS, know the Gallifreyan language, possibly even know the Doctor's true name (as there were hints in the older series that the Doctor and the Rani were more than just acquaintences), and as a Time Lord, she would not be human.  How would she escape the Time War?  Possibly the same way that the Master did, or even more simply by just not being involved at all! 
 
So what do you all think?  Am I on to something here, or am I just clutching at further remnants of what once was, and hoping for a return?