Here's what I wanna see...
Lavar, Xaos, Guillermo, Woody, and Yelena are Bravo Squad, the toughest sons-a-bitches this side of the schoolyard. When a terrorist threat hits home, Bravo Squad is called in to do what they do best: knife assholes in the face, shoot rockets up their ass, and bust a cap on some muthafuckers!
Features of the game include:
- Play single player or five player co-op campaign (because four player is for pussies) that shows the crumbling of America's library system at the hands of a nefarious terrorist organization!
- Each squad member has their own unique skill set, and advanced training and new moves can be learned by...you guessed it...reading a muthafucking book!
- 256 player online play on huge ass maps with gigantic mech robots from the future, because why the fuck not, bitches?
- Karaoke Mode lets you sing along with famous Reading Rainbow songs, like "Old School Reading Rainbow Theme Song" and "New Reading Rainbow Theme Song"
- Survival Mode globe trots you across the country to different libraries and pits you against the evil forces of a completely different terrorist organization! Save national treasures including Los Angeles Public Library, The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, Boston Public Library, New York Public Library, and the big daddy of them all - The Library of Congress!
- Separate pre-order bonuses at six different locations unlock additional multiplayer weapons, multiplayer skins, and more!
THREE SKINS HAVE ALREADY BEEN ANNOUNCED!!!
GAMESTOP PRE-ORDER BONUS: Geordi La Forge skin (as seen on Star Trek: The Next Generation)
BEST BUY PRE-ORDER BONUS: Kunta Kinte skin (as seen on Roots: The Gift)
WAL-MART PRE-ORDER BONUS: Family Guy Lavar (as seen on Family Guy)
- Limited "READ THIS!" Edition features a 1:1 scale bust of Lavar Burton's head!
- Coming to Xbox 360, PS3, and PC 2012
All fully paid pre-orders for the game at any location will get you a free copy of the new downloadable update, Contraversial!!! Co-directed by George Lucas, Contraversial updates a classic like you've never seen it before...because you can barely see shit due to all the tasteful "updating". George Lucas made a comment on his involvement with the project:
As a long-time fan of Contra, I looked at the technology that we had available to us at Lucasfilm and ILM and said "if I can replace the guns in the hands of people in E.T., why don't I just replace the guns with black bars in Contra?" It was like a stroke of genius that only I can have. I think gamers will find this new and fascinating way a pure thrill to play through.
Also confirmed was a cameo from Giant Bomb editor Brad Shoemaker. He will play the head of a tree that photobombs some dirt.