Creating a reading alternative to E3 is an annual tradition. An annual tradition which is a little too close to a certain other month-long annual tradition for my liking, but then that's what I get for wanting some alliteration. Rather than just inventing some last-minute nonsense for four straight days I'm basing this feature around a singular theme: Vampires!

What's the opposite of a busy convention center in sunny downtown Los Angeles? Vampires! What's the opposite of hope and excitement for the future and a childlike glee and rapture for the toys of tomorrow? Vampires! What's the opposite of blood-sucking, parasitic, antisocial practices from a haughty organization that thinks it's better than the mindless chattel who are there to be exploited? Vamp... oh right.

Today I'm (finally) starting my Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines LP. I'm not going full screenshots this time so expect a lot more text, but I do try to take as many interesting grabs as I can for color. The key to Vampire the Masquerade is in its unusual premise and off-beat design: there are vampires, they have to sneak around instead of killing all the humans and it's an RPG with magic powers and weird stats and everything. Hopefully I'll give you all a good sense of what this game is about, since I can't imagine I'll get through the entire thing in the four days that E3 is running.

Though really, no amount of gore or violence in this game can top the brutal beatdown Sony just gave Microsoft. Good lord. When all you can hear are squelching noises that's the cue to stop kicking the body, Tretton.

Part 1: Tonight I'm Going To Suck! Your Blood!

Hell of a thing, becoming a vampire. In Vampire the Masquerade, what matters is what kind of vampire you decide to become. The game helpfully offers a personality quiz (a la the earlier Elder Scrolls, or Scientology) in order to help you decide on which vampire clan you're most inclined towards. It automatically picked for me the Gangrel clan, which are bestial loners with hygiene issues. Damn uncanny. Since I wasn't ready to play a vampire version of myself, I instead opted to drop into the character creation menu and build myself a vampire from scratch:

Here she is. Named for a particularly classy and understated example of the femme fatale vampire as played by Geena Davis in Transylvania 6-5000, I opted for the fancy-schmancy vampire class of Toreador. Apparently unrelated to bullfighting, the Toreador are your schmoozing Hollywood types, more suited for bewitching and sneaking around than hitting things or shooting off vampire fireballs or whatever that mage class was about. In this game, each clan carries inherent strengths and flaws and it's an elegant system to define the kind of playthrough you're looking for: as stereotypical as a social butterfly vampire might be (though I guess not quite as common as the brooding loner ones) it's not an option that's commonly available in RPGs. I'm attracted to the novelty of a character like that as much as anything else. I do wonder if playing a shrewd but cowardly type won't come back to bite me in the neck at a later juncture though, in a similar fashion to Dave Snider's legendary (for being dead) bard from the Daggerfall stream.

I'm also a female vampire. For hot lesbian vampire action? Not really. I've always had more fun when I'm distancing my own self from the usual tabula rasa proxy protagonist set-up. You fill in the background (optional), the base stats and the minor details, but beyond that it's easier to pretend the character is a separate entity. I'll point her in the right direction, but it's more fun to roleplay as a complete stranger than pretend I'm a badass vampire version of myself instead of some dweeb playing a decade-old computer game for the internet. I can absolutely relate to those who prefer the reverse. Of course, being a pretend woman means I have to put up with nonsense like this:

Great. I can play a dumb slut. What a wonderful lesson to teach the young'uns ...who probably shouldn't be playing a game where you can seduce people and then murder them. I mean, probably. I don't have kids, maybe that's what they're into these days. It's not explained well why I'm stupider for having slept around, but maybe that's a generalization for the designers to hash out in their private time. Instead I elected to go for "Starving Artist", which removes all my starting money for an extra pip in perception (which is why it was blue on the above screen). I think I can do without the handful of loose change these games always start you with.

So, into the game. I'll spare you all from the riveting intro, in which I'm sired by a one-night-stand, immediately kidnapped by some Camarilla and then watch my new beau get murdered for his transgression in front the local vampire horde. I'm spared and dumped outside the gathering place and brought to the tutorial zone. The tutorials are notable for introducing Jack, who seems to be the vampire equivalent of Willie Nelson, and introducing the many tools at my disposal. The combat's nothing to write home about, but there's plenty of this:

And this:

...so my interest is officially piqued. The tutorial area is also where you get hit with about half the lore you need to know about the game's universe. Essentially, the Camarilla are a collection of clans that believe in the "masquerade" for which the game is named. This means hiding among the humans without alerting to them to the existence of vampires which in turn makes it far easier to feed on them without getting chased around by Van Helsings. While you will need to drink that sweet crimson nectar, doing so where other humans can see you is a big no-no and costs you one of five "instantly lose the game" points. Likewise, using any of the more overt vampire superpowers near human beings is considered equally bad form. So, like The Incredibles then, only without the disquieting eugenics undertones.

The Camarilla have ideological rivals in the form of the Sabbat, who don't believe in any of this sneaking around bullshit. They kind of sound more fun, frankly, though I understand why there needs to be "good guy" vampires and "bad guy" vampires despite the fact that there aren't really any good guys in this game per se. It's all part of the gothy outsider appeal, after all. That's as much as I'm told anyway before I split ways with Jack and head to Santa Monica for the first chapter of the game proper.

Leaving the apartment after a few quest hints from my PC, I'm immediately accosted by this homeless fellow. I just took this screenshot as an example of some of the wonderful writing this game has. One of these replies will provide me with the game's moral currency: Humanity. Losing humanity is easy, holding onto it when you're a monster that eats people is tougher. Unfortunately, being inhuman means very easily losing your shit in the middle of a crowded street and dying almost immediately when the entire human police force and the Camarilla enforcers descend upon you simultaneously, so it's worth balancing bad acts with good ones. It's a nice example of a dynamic morality system that doesn't punish you for not being all the way good and absolutely punishes you for being all the way bad, which is fine for a game in which many of your potential victims are also important NPCs and quest givers that the game would rather you keep alive. Please.

Anyway, I gave this beggar money and then turned around and drank him. As long as you only take seven pints and not all eight, it's cool. A person can get by on one. It's science.

So here's where we get to exploring the small cityscape. There's a few locks on shop entrances (it's night) and on doors in back alleys so I make a mental note of where to go once my lockpicking skill is a bit higher and press on. While I'm told to head to the rich people apartments to meet my contact Mercurio for a few jobs the Camarilla want my ungrateful undead ass to perform on their behalf for deciding to spare me, I take a detour towards a bail bondsman joint. Vlad the Bounty Hunter has a nice ring to it.

I find some more wonderful reading material in the bail bondsman's office. Delightful. I think Bitch Frenzy might be my favorite. Puppies!

This honest looking gent is Arthur Kilpatrick. He's unhappy because his best bounty hunter vanished along with the bail skipper he was sent to apprehend. He gives me the key card to his erstwhile employee's apartment (awfully trusting) and I'm off on my first real side-quest. Not really vampire-related, but I figure I can get some cash and experience points out of it. Onward!

So here's the first neat puzzle from this game. You can find the laptop belonging to Carson (that's the dude we're looking for) but it needs a password. You have two options: look around for contextual clues and figure it out or try to hack into the laptop. Since this isn't a game like Fallout 3 where you get experience points for every successful hack and can go on to abuse the heck out of it, VtM:B doesn't mind how you go about reaching your objective.

Admittedly, having this poster adorning the wall directly behind the laptop wasn't the most subtle of hints but it's the sort of attention to detail I always like to see. This is a game about using your head. At least I hope it is, because I haven't done much to augment any other body part (before you go there, I've already seen a few junk emails on the subject in the PCs I've hacked so far). The password is "Imalia" by the way; I worked that out all by myself.

Anyway, Carson was investigating the owner of a tobacco shop on the other side of town. He left a keycard for the joint behind (why do all these people give away keycards so easily?) and I continue to follow this breadcrumb trail further.

(That picture has nothing to do with the cigar shop, I just wanted to acknowledge that the Fear Gauntlet has been here. They probably had a few cans of Yello Sno, Dank Stank and, uh, SEXXX. Since I'm a sultry lady vampire I cannot drink any SEXXX - only exude it.)

The cigar shop was empty save for a persistent telephone ring in the basement. I talk to a very well-mannered Mr. Gimble for a few moments who tells me that I should stop by his prosthetics place across town for the whereabouts of Mr McGee. Time to hoof it again, it seems. Well, I don't have hoofs (yet, anyway. No way of knowing how these vampire powers will develop) but the goal should be clear enough.

I spent a few fun minutes in the office of Mr. Gimble, balancing chairs in the fantasy physics engine we vampires inhabit, before I finally get the hint and decide to investigate the place. Stan Gimble claims to be a very genial doctor who is good friends with the missing McGee and would be absolutely happy to check his records to see when he last spoke with the man. He also said I have wonderful arms that he'd love to take. You know, usual non-psychopath stuff. Time to do some investigatin'! We're a having a fun detective adventure!

Hooray!

After Hardy Boys-ing it up for a few minutes, I eventually make my way past dozens of creepy operating tools and hastily scribbled diagrams of people's feet and hands before finding the basement floor. Sure enough, things aren't all they seem at Gimble's Prosthetics and I come across where Carson is being held. Before freeing him, I discover a quite irate Stan Gimble who is prepared to beat me to death with a severed arm. Just another long night in Santa Monica, I suppose.

Gimble went a tad Ramsay Bolton on the poor bounty hunter but despite a few missing fingers he seems fairly fine, though clearly out of the bounty hunting gig for the foreseeable future. I tell him that as a man who works with criminals he should've been able to put his finger on why Mr Gimble was acting so oddly. He doesn't reply with anything positive, so I point out the exit and give him a thumbs up.

Hey, I guess that means Mr McGee is OK and around here too!

Oh. ...oh.

Well, my work here is all done. I get a nice wad of cash and a bit of experience for helping Mr. Greasy out and, best of all, I get the next bounty hunter gig he's offering. I wonder if this one will be as horrific? I can only hope!

Check in with me tomorrow as I continue to plumb the seedy underbelly of a vampire-infested Santa Monica. I think there might be a certain nightclub in my future, as well as getting back on track and seeing what Mercurio wants. Say, is that a trail of blood leading to his place...?

Ah Vampire the Masquerade. The last of the Troika Trifecta and the only one of their games I have yet to play a significant amount of. I keep on meaning to, hearing that you can get through most of the game by talking and also because it's from the people who brought me Temple of Elemental Evil (and also Arcanum, which while a mess, is at least an interesting one). If I can bulldoze my way through Neverwinter Nights 2 and Baldur's Gate 2 (and maybe Wizardry VII if I hate myself) this would probably be somewhere on the list.

I'll be interested to see what you think, at any rate.

This blog post of yours brings back a lot of great memories. Keep it up!

@mento: This brings back some fond memories. Being and absolute dick to your ghoul contact. Meeting some vampire ladies. Ashing some dudes with a katana while leaping up into the air in slow motion. Ah so many ways to play. The game was an absolute gem. A bit rough around the edges (i hope you're using the fan made patch) but a gem nonetheless.

Kinda like Arcanum. Ahem. >.>

@arbitrarywater: You gotta respect the classics. Man.

On a serious note that actually seems kind of true. The commonality of roughness yet a good degree of depth and interesting shit i mean, it's something that games like VtMB, Alpha Protocol and Arcanum share. People that like one of these games usually really really like them and consider them great, or they don't hook you and they can seem middling. Neither of them had especially great mass reception, yet deep pockets of love exists for them. Hence they're your cult classics rather then just plain classics. Eh. And I think I'm fine with that. :)

@tennmuerti: For me, there's apparently a fine line between janky roughness I can appreciate and janky roughness that I can barely tolerate when it comes to those kinds of games. I've made no secret my weird obsession with Temple of Elemental Evil, and for whatever shit-talking I gave Arcanum like... 2-3 years ago, whenever I wrote that blog, I've reversed my position enough to say that it's a RPG worth at least taking a look at if you like Fallout. There's a laundry list of things I can rattle off from memory that I dislike about that game, but the ambition is admirable even if the execution is inconsistent. I could say the same thing about Alpha Protocol... but without the part where I think it's in any way a mechanically sound game.

No, for me the line seems to be drawn somewhere around Central or Eastern Europe. All attempts of mine to play anything made by Piranha Bytes have ended with me having zero interest in ever getting past the unfriendly difficulty and clunktastic controls, I documented my active bewilderment that Inquisitor exists, and Divinity II is unerringly mediocre throughout.

@arbitrarywater: Well I definitely agree with you on Divinity 2 heh, but then unlike those other games there is little there of substance once you dig past the jank (at least when the game originally came out, there were so many re releases i don't know what's it like anymore). I only ever played Inquisitor demo or trial way way back in the day and even my young impressionable mind at the time found little of interest.

And at this point i'm just nettling you about Arcanum for funzies :P

While we are talking about old demos. GoG gave me a cold shower when I saw they had Septera Core and I remembered really liking the art style and the magic/junk world feeling of the demo that came with some magazine. Boy oh boy did I get a rude awakening and the shattering of rose tinted goggles was loud indeed. What a pile of garbage. I tried to stick it out for a while even with the Bomcast on but could not stand the mind numbing drudgery. It was like someone took all the absolutely worst parts of JRPGs added some cool art and absolutely nothing else. Still dig the character designs tho, if only they were used in a better game.

Forgot to add, they all also shine if one does 2+ playthroughs to truly appreciate the different permutations that can occur in these RPGs.

In effect this is what over the years actually came to define the term "RPG" for me. Games where my actions, decisions and choices (mechanical and/or dialogue) are reflected back at me by the game itself. When what I choose to do and how i choose to do it really matters and shapes and adjusts the narrative, the events and the worlds individuals attitudes toward me. And Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines played a major role in this.