Wolfenstein: The Old Blood

The first chapter of Return to Castle Wolfenstein is a partial reboot of the first episode of Wolfenstein 3D. The Old Blood is a reboot of the first chapter of Return to Castle Wolfenstein which was a reboot of the first episode of Wolf3D. The fat nazi lady who turns into a poop golem even returns, except this time she doesn't turn into a poop golem and she has a sad, humanizing back story as told in diary entries scattered around the realm despite showing none of this depth in person.

So, I really didn't like The New Order. But I was somewhat okay with this. My issues with TNO largely stemmed from what I thought was an oftentimes unfair and relentless difficulty, and they have certainly eased back somewhat. I could swear that the enemies are slightly less aggressive and not as dead-on accurate, although I may be mistaken (I don't think I am). In any case, the large tank-monsters with gatling guns are much, much less common and usually only appear one at a time, except in blatant stealth sequences. They, along with the tough shotgun-wielding guys, now have weak points so that taking them down is much more about skillfully placing shots than it is about dumping into a bloated target while soaking up damage. Ammo for the auto-shotguns is much more plentiful and a new flare gun acts as a sort-of rocket launcher, which is handy as a panic button or to take out groups of enemies that are hiding behind cover. Falling down bottomless pits now just teleports you back to land instead of back to the previous checkpoint.

Level design is much more corridor-focused, which sounds like it would be a bad thing, but considering The New Order's propensity for throwing you into huge arenas where you'd be surrounded and dumped upon by swarms of hitscanners, I'm alright with it. The corridors keep the (admittedly smart) AI in check, while empowering you to dump upon them, which is much more fun it turns out. And although they're corridors, there are lots of alternate passages and loop-arounds within combat areas, very reminiscent of FEAR.

All in all, I wouldn't say the shooting was my favorite ever, but it was a reasonably good time if still a bit exhausting. The campaign took me 4 hours, a little less than half the time I spent with New Order, although take into consideration that there is much less plot (hallelujah). However, the campaign is book-ended with a beginning that is 20 minutes to 1 hour of boring, mandatory stealth as you escape Castle Wolfenstein and an ending that is about 1 hour of a boring been-there-done-that zombie fest. These bits are tolerable in their mediocrity, but that means you're only in for about two and a half hours of the core FPSing you signed up for.

I did prefer the setting this time around. Honestly, I'll take Weird WWII over yet another Half Life 2 dystopia any day. But being a prequel to The New Order makes this a bit strange, since it's a foregone conclusion that the Nazis win the war and everything sucks forever. And good God, enough with the sads! Do I need to hear the naive young woman talk about her doomed hope and dead family? Was it necessary to introduce a fun lady spy just to brutally kill her off 10 minutes later? I get it, the third reich wasn't a fun time. But Wolfenstein is supposed to be the cathartic response to all that where you liquify Hitler's face and then it goes to the instant replay LET'S SEE THAT AGAIN! camera. It's like if someone made a sequel to one of those old Newgrounds "Beat Up Bin Laden!" Flash cartoons but the whole time it tries to 'get real' about how 9/11 took parents away from their children. Sheeeeesh!