I don't think we need to borrow Michael Pachter's voodoo ball in order to predict that Nintendo'sE3 2010 press conference will be more entertaining than Ubisoft's media briefing. That is, assuming, Reggie doesn't decide to dive into numbers for a half-hour straight.
Regardless, Nintendo might be the first of the big three hardware publishers to announce a big-time secret project. Will we see a new Zelda? Animal Crossing 3DS? Beyond Good and Evil 2 for Wii? Join us for the event and see!
== TEASER == Updates will be made in ascending order.
[10:29 AM] And that's it. What did you guys think?
[10:16 AM] Apparently Nintendo plans to hook cute girls to nerds so they can play the 3DS. Something tells me the 3DS won't matter anymore. (Hey Brad, tell that one redhead my number. Also, make sure to tell her how much I can bench.)
[10:15 AM] I don't know why this conference is still going on.
[10:14 AM] HOLY SHIT A DOG JUST JUMPED OUT OF A 3DS AND KILLED MIYAMOTO. (Reggie showed a ridiculous trailer.)
[10:12 AM] Reggie is back out, closing the show.
[10:08 3DS] Square Enix will make a Kingdom Hearts. A Saints Row, Resident Evil, Assassin's Creed, Ridge Racer, and Metal Gear Solid title all coming to 3DS.
[10:06 3DS] No need to stalk the dude on the bus for more quests.
[10:05 3DS] 3DS' will be able to wilrelessly communicate with each other while asleep and while two players are playing two different games. That's hip.
[10:03 3DS] Kid Icarius title!
[10:01 3DS] Project Sora was announce specifically for the 3DS. Here's a trailer. Visuals look good!
[10:00 3DS] Apparently, you'll be able to watch 3D movies from Disney, Warner Brothers, and Dream Works. "How to Train Your Dragon." "Tangled." Two of the titles.
[9:59 3DS] Two camera lenses on the outside and one on the inside. Let's you take 3D digital pictures.
[9:58 3DS] Better visuals, supposedly. Now Iwata is addressing control mechanisms.
[9:56 AM] 3D Depth slider announced. Bottom screen is a touch screen.
[9:55 AM] Full 3D graphics. 3.5-inch upper screen. Looks like it has a digital stick. By the way, Iwata is on-stage, showing this off.
[9:53 AM] Promises day-one content. Does that mean they're going to make DSiWare cross-platform compatible for once?
[9:52 AM] Reggie confirms no glasses.
[9:52 AM] Reggie is spitting mad game about a title. Ah, yes, Nintendo 3DS. Baller.
[9:51 AM] Called Donkey Kong Country Returns. Hit this holiday.
[9:50 AM] Montage being shown. Looks very traditional, very much like what Rare did.
[9:48 AM] Retro Studios is really doing a Donkey Kong game. It is not, however, in first-person.
[9:47 AM] In August, we'll be playing Metroid Other M. But you already knew about that.
[9:46 AM] Dragon Quest IX DS hits retail at the beginning of July.
[9:45 AM] Now Reggie is talking Dragon Quest.
[9:44 AM] Hitting this fall. Whoa!
[9:42 AM] Game supposedly to be wicked new. And hey, it is. Looks like it's a click-and-drag style platformer. You just around, swing on stuff, grab objects and move them to open up new routes. A plethora of locations being shown, all in a pretty hip art style full of bright colors and thread.
[9:42 AM] New game about to be announced. Reggie is talking about the Kirby creator and now Kirby.
[9:41 AM] Reggie takes the stage again. Doesn't look so hungry.
[9:40 AM] Epic Mickey will be on the floor. I think we've got a preview comin' up. Look for it.
[9:39 AM] Now, we're in a travel zone. It's like a portal--they're side-scrolling sections based on old episodes. We're seeing a Steamboat Willy level in this demo.
[9:39] Sounds like the game has a moral system. You can be dickhead Mickey or hero Mickey. Paint or erase.
[9:38 AM] The "key" twist is the fact that you can erase and paint the land. You can dynamically change the game world. This ties into the narrative.
[9:37 AM] Demo is set in Wasteland, a place where forgotten characters go. No wonder Mickey is there.
[9:36 AM] We're about to see a live demo in a "Quest Zone."
[9:34 AM] Warren Spector hitting the stage to talk about Epic Mickey.
[9:33 AM] Hits this holiday. It's a Wii exclusive, says Reggie. Now a new game being shown. You're killing me, Reggie!
[9:32 AM] It's got a glut of old characters. Familiar levels. No Pierce Brosnan, instead it's Daniel Craig.
[9:31 AM] GoldenEye game about to be announced. Yes!
[9:31 AM] Dark Dawn arrives this holiday season on the DS.
[9:30 AM] Yeah, this looks like a Golden Sun game. I've got no insight on this. Stylus confirmed, folks! So are little Japanese dudes who dress like women.
[9:29 AM] Reggie is about to talk about Golden Sun: Dark Dawn.
[9:28 AM] Just Dance sequel is being announced via a trailer. I have no idea how this series has sold millions on the Wii.
[9:27 AM] Wii Party announced. Features Miis rather heavily, includes 13 party games and 70 different mini-games. Coming this holiday. Looks pretty underwhleming.
[9:26 AM] Another announcement. A "new bridge title," says Reggie.
[9:25 AM] Reggie is saying that the Wii is popular; people are playing it.
[9:24 AM] It's coming in 2011. That's it, unfortunately.
[9:23 AM] Now we're seeing a trailer for a Mario-themed mini-game collection. Volleyball, basketball, tennis. It's called Mario Sports Mix.
[9:22 AM] Mario "the sportsman" is coming back to "some venues where he's never competed before."
[9:21 AM] Reggie comes back. We're about to talk about sports. I think NBA Jam is coming up.
[9:20 AM] Now a montage. Lots of traditional Zelda-type environments; cutesy forest, not-so-gloomy gray dungeons and whatnot. Also, SKELETONS ARE CONFIRMED.
[9:20 AM] Wait. Not it. Skyward Sword is due out in 2011.
[9:19 AM] And that's it for Zelda. It's on the show floor.
[9:18 AM] New Whip too. It does the same thing, except it's not a Beetle.
[9:18 AM] We just saw a new Beetle weapon. It flies around and grabs stuff for you.
[9:15 AM] A little interference is messing with the Wii Motion Plus. In my experience, this isn't interference. This is the Wii Motion Plus. Also, dude made a Steve Jobs joke. Jobs can here you, sir. He can hear everything.
[9:14 AM] Bombs and the Slingshot are being shown. The slingshot controls aren't as crazy as you'd thing. Very traditional, kinda hands-off.
[9:12 AM] You put "your hand in the pocket" to pick items. It's basically a gesture-controlled radial menu. I think Command & Conquer used that.
[9:11 AM] Enemies will require precise angles on swings and blocks. That's about the amount of what we're seeing thus far.
[9:08 AM] Miyamoto is on the stage, now, showing off the game. They're focusing on the near 1:1 sword and shield slicing and blocking. Reminds me of Red Steel 2, except, you know, not in first-person. Also, without a cowboy.
[9:06 AM] Oh, hey, a live demo. It definitely looks like Zelda.
[9:06 AM] Miyamoto is explaining the sword mechanics. The voice-over is ridiculous.
[9:05 AM] Wii Motion Plus confirmed for sword control.
[9:03 AM] YES! It's Link, riding Epona. Now, a shot of a stoic teenager dressed in green garb. He's shooting a bow, slicing. It's The Legend of Zelda The Skyward Sword.
[9:03 AM] Reggies says Nintendo will "raise the bar" in experiences. Now a trailer.
[9:02 AM] Reggie takes the stage. He looks hungry, too.
[8:59 AM] It's almost time. This thing needs to kick off with Zelda. I'm hungry for some Master Sword.
[8:42 AM] The conference will begin in about 17 minutes. You can watch it via Nintendo's own live stream if you so desire.