Who would you fight at Giantbomb?

You are in the finals of a "to the death" martial arts tournament. One opponent left before you win the prize and the heart of the love interest and Save the world. Which of the Giantbomb guys would you fight to the death? Why? how would that fight play out?

I would go for Brad because I know one major weakness; Dota. I point and scream Dota, he will be distracted and I know his wrist is weak from hours and hours of gaming so I could go straight for that.

I would not ever go against Jeff, he is much larger then me and has an extensive knowledge of Wrestling moves.

Edit: lol, other users are fair game as well I guess. In that case, @hamst3r, Im coming for you! You have been a hero here far too long, Ur Goin DOWWWN.

For a sec I thought it was going to be about GB users to fight.

@falserelic:

I would fight @ajayraz

IM CALLING YOU OUT SON

@blu3v3nom07: This is exactly how I pictured it but with far less muscle tone

P-please d-d-dont hurt me..

I would never fight Drew, that would basically be assisted suicide.

I'm pretty sure I could outrun Jeff though so that's my choice.

I'm a pacifist. I don't want to hurt anyone at Giant Bomb.

@big_jon took on both Brad and Jeff

I could take any of them on.

This is sort of a weird question?

I feel like Matt Rorie is the most gentle soul at giant bomb, and if it were a fight to the death I don't think his heart would be in it. So yeah I'll go with Mathew.

Rorie; I'd just bring a dog and instant win.

This reminded me of something really amazing.

Personally I'd rather just buy them all a beer or two the next time they come through Reno...

...but if I had absolutely no choice

All of them except Drew, he seems to be in the best shape and has a very subtle "American Psycho" vibe going on.

I'd be very wary of Vinny and Jeff, they look like they may have been in a few good scraps in their day and they both have a kind of "I don't give a fuck" attitude about things which can be very dangerous. I'd have to distract Vinny with some dirty diapers and a recording of a baby crying while fending off Jeff with cases of terrible energy drinks.

Brad and Alex just seem too nice to be fighters so we'd probably just end up hanging out in the bleachers talking about science and movies. Of course that's after Alex unsuccessfully attempts a few of his favorite wrestling moves.

Patrick is pretty young so I'd have the experience edge there but he also seems scrappy and if there is one thing I've learned in my years it is to never underestimate the scrappy guy so I'd probably have to turn off all the lights and go for the jump scare to throw him off his guard then go for the kill.

Matt seems like one of those guys who can and will just sit there and take it until he eventually cracks and goes bat shit crazy on your ass so I'd probably just tell him he has to run the board in the control room then lock him in and run.

Honestly though, I don't think I could ever bring myself to hit any of those guys so they'd all probably wreck me before I could throw a single punch.

Patrick is skinny as hell. One swing of bat might break his arm.

Brad is scared of spiders.

Vinny is scared of Max.

Not sure about Jeff.

Drew is way too fit.

There's always one thing to keep in mind about fights never underestimate anybody.

I'll fight them all with my knife.

All I'ma say is don't underestimate Brad. Dude's got top-notch twerkman's comp, so he'll go balls-out on a mofo.

This is kinda weird. Why would I want to get in any sort of fight with any of these guys?

Patrick seems scrawny, but I bet he's got elbows like knives.

Jeff is large and plays dirty.

Drew is almost assuredly a former government agent and probably knows krav maga.

Alex or Brad, hmmmm... Alex probably has a knife. I'll go with Brad. I'll just confuse him by opening multiple lanes of attack and then I'll feed him right hands.

Give Brad a piece of sandwich first, then he will get sleepy.

I love everything about this!

I'd take them all on at once.

I WOULD KILL ALL OF YOU

...with kindness. ♥

Who from the community gets to be Shawn Micheals just laying it on everyone.

I'd be okay with fighting cool baby, not sure if this is a legal move considering he's a baby and you don't wanna be shaking babies.

Hizang.

@jimmy_p: Simple Jack!

Jeff is too street. Vinny is too jacked. Brad is too soothing. Drew is too methodical. Alex reviewed Big Rigs, so his pain tolerance has to be through the roof. Hmm, Patrick or Rorie...

Gotta be Rorie. Years of preying on puppies should have weakened his killer instinct. Patrick's choice of jukebox music leads me to believe he's always willing to throw down.

You got to go for the king, so I'd face the winner of Vinny vs. Drew.

If we're talking about the Whiskey Media pantheon then I'd have to take a shot at Joey.

@godlyawesomeguy said:

wuh

let's do it bitch

As someone who has fought both Jeff and Brad I think most of you are under estimating Brad and over estimating Jeff.

Just saying.

I would fight Drew, just so that I may be close to him... <3

WHAT'S THIS, YUMMYLEE HAS JUST RAN IN TO THE RING -- OH, COLLUSION!

Tag-team, motherfucker. Let's do this, bitch indeed.

I'd fight @sweep

In a life or death scenario I would fight Vinny, since he is too sympathetic and might let my weak ass live.

Brad is easily the biggest pushover. Unless he's drunk, then you never know what'll happen.

Yeah, I'm a little uncomfortable doing anything "to the death" with the Bomb crew. That's me, Mr No-Fun.

wait... are you on myteam, or are you on his team?

...no matter. i'll fight you both.

BAH GAWD

I think I could probably take Jeff, but I wouldn't want to.

I'd fight everyone but Vinny and Drew. Vinny gets a pass for having a kid and being super cool, and Drew would be too depressed if I broke his leg and he couldn't go on his super cool non-video game adventures.

I would fight BIGJEFFEREY

Patrick is like 80 pounds wet, i could sneeze and he'd be KO'd.

Lets just start putting bombers into VGCW

I'd fight everyone with WWE avatar.

I had thought that the President's Day one would never be topped, and then this came along.

I would fight Vinny because he is teh least likely to want to hit me first.

Vinny would say, "Man, I REALLLLLLYY don't want to hit you dude."

I would say, "Me neither dude, but this is a fight to the death and they will release the polar bears soon...damn!!!"

[Grrrrrr! we both get eaten by polar bears.]

That's cold fellas, don't worry Ajayraz, I got your back.