I think I'm gonna get dragged into a strip club this weekend

@darji: Personally I would rather enjoy women stripping to music if it was, you know, not so sad. It's like seeing a tiger in a zoo. You want the experience of seeing one in the wild. Also, hepatitis.

I'm vehemently against something I can get for free with extra toppings and benefits.

I've never been, but the pussy-like behavior is truly funny - exactly what you'd think a video game forum would say about strip clubs.

As a dude, it's an experience you kinda need to have regardless of if you enjoy yourself or not. Just one of those things you need to do in life.

See if it's BYOB first. Some clubs are like that. I've only been to a club once in a suburban area. The club I went to is considered "mid-range". The dances were about $25, that gets you about 3-4 minutes. Even if it grosses you out, buy one just for that life experience.

There are VIP rooms that your friends might want to buy the Bachelor. He basically gets either 1 or several dancers at once for awhile, it usually ends in a blowjob too. Depending on what kind of club you're going to.

For me it was kind of annoying. Every girl hounded me for a dance. I felt like I was at a used car lot. I totally intended to buy dances, but I was just chilling with my friend and literally EVERY 30 FUCKING SECONDS some girl was offering a dance.

BRING CASH! A lot of clubs make you buy their Monopoly money if you don't have cash and that's stupid expensive.

But the whole experience is cool for about an hour at best. You usually walk away with a story. Maybe it's better with a cool group of drunk friends. Regardless, it's an obligatory man moment you need to have.

@zojirushi:

You'll be fine. I've been. It's skeezy for sure but whatever. Breasts are always nice to look at. And it's just one night.

There are a lot of things in the world that don't align with my tastes, but the appeal of strip clubs is something I don't think I'll ever actually understand. Paying unreasonable amounts of money to see women naked who couldn't give two shits about you beyond your wallet? It's like paying for porn online, except you don't even get to jerk off at the end.

There's usually plenty of space far away from the action if you're like me and don't want to be at the center of the nastiness. When my friends force me to go out to a strip joint, I usually anchor down the pool table and make friends over there. Note: You don't have to get a dance if you don't want one, the girls are very persistent at asking you since that's their income... they do make great waitresses (since they think they might be building you up for a dance).

Try to have fun. Don't eat anything at the buffet.

I saw a video on Tosh.0 where a stripper funneled water into her b hole then spun around in a circle really fast and shot it at a bunch of dudes.

Don't drown, OP.

@peasantabuse: Ok now that is some nasty shit. Stay away from that strip club.

Never been either, but my sister has it in her mind that I should go to one for my 21st birthday, which I would rather not do. This thread just solidified that feeling.

One time I was at a strip club and a really really attractive lady with fake boobs and an even more fake British accent took my glasses off of my face and "sexily" put them between her breasts and smooshed them around. I dont know why the fuck she thought I would enjoy that. I couldn't even fucking see it, and when I got my glasses back they were fucking covered in sweat and glitter. The rest of the night was pretty alright.

Yeah, this attitude disturbs me. Disagreeing with other people about the value of strip clubs is fine. Belittling those people by comparing them to female sex organs is exactly what I would expect from a shitty video game forum.

I've never been. Don't plan to. I have a significant other and porn, so the function isn't there for me. The form is interesting, but It's not a curiosity I find worth exploring.

As long as strippers or prostitutes have control over choosing their clients, can work in a clean environment, and are making fair pay, I say more power to them. Just like any job, as long as employees have their rights and self-respect, it's all good. Gymnastic stripping especially is a fantastic kinesthetic art form that requires extreme fitness and body control.

So, thread creator, follow other people's advice on money, treat everyone there like a human being doing a job, and do what makes you feel comfortable.

what kind of clubs are you visiting? Also women working there also often have much fun doing it. Not all stripper are single mothers doing it just for the money so they can survive^^

Fake your own death.

HAND SANITIZER

Fucking eh! Man, chicks running around naked, dancing on your for 10 bucks. These guys are all exaggerating how bad it is. Guess what? It is better than a lot of other things you could be doing. For example, my friends and I were just in vegas this weekend. I wanted to go to a stripclub, they wanted to gamble. Well for a hundred bucks as drive here says, I could have had hours of fun and just staring at chicks.

So here it is. Some guidelines. Depending on the state and kind of bar, drinking may or may not be allowed. Here is California, as I understand it, fully nude bars do not serve alcohol, topless only do. You may stare, you are there to watch a show. You can watch from afar but if at the stage, you gotta have your ones to tip. Stick with your friends. Do not, have anything with you other than ID and cash. They will come up and ask if you want a lap dance, just say no thanks if she is not the one. Have fun, just let these stigmas go. Also, Strip Bars by an airport or college will have better girls.

Everyone! Tell me more about how awkward, and uncomfortable women make you. Seeeeeriously, not every strip club is like the one in South Park.

@thehbk Pretty much hit the nail on the head, let the stigmas go and go for the places closer to a college/Uni, I can't speak to the airport advice but places close to a Uni/College are golden.

I'm seeing an unfortunate number of insults being flung around toward people who aren't fond of strip clubs, but I have yet to see any valid justification for why any of these people should enjoy going to strip clubs, beyond "tits" and "being around friends can be fun."

Been there... uhm... I liked it.

But tits man! TITS! MAN!

Have I mentioned tits? man?

If the other commenters haven't convinced you yet...

Drink before you leave or at a bar, Strip clubs can be more pricey (Although most clubs aren't that bad).

Any reasonably nice club that isn't a gross hole in the wall is actually somewhat classy inside, you can usually get a private table with bottle service, but that shit is expensive. Girls will mostly leave you alone other than offering a private dance every so often unless you are sitting in front of a stage. If its a bachelor party, you're probably gonna get up to some hijinks, so I'd just roll with it and sit up at the stage.

On money: Obviously, get a bunch of $1 bills, you really don't spend all that much money tipping unless you're crazy. Now, there's a couple strategies here. Keep the money in front of you and make it visible if you want attention, as they're looking for the guys with money, or if a girl you don't find attractive comes out, keep the money hidden in your hand or pocket, but probably keep a bill or two to sacrifice so you're not being a stingy jerk. You could easily spend $20-40 all night while having a good time, its just drinks that'll be expensive.

As for what to do with the girls, you can definitely tuck one into her thong or something, usually just on the side. Most girls don't want dirty money near their business, so its really not as gross as you'd think. That's mostly pretty rare and mostly optional unless the girl is making you do it I guess. Mostly just put the money on the stage in front of you if you want her to come over, or throw it in. They're usually good about recognizing newcomers and shy guys.

Also, you might wanna check what the rules are for your state, laws vary. Some places have touching or no touching, bottoms on or off. Doesn't really matter, but be aware they're different by state.

Anyways, Strip Clubs not really as sleazy or gross as you'd imagine them to be, although I definitely find the guys in there to be douchey assholes for the most part, but just have some drinks and open up a bit and have some fun. Its a pretty cool experience. Most of the people in here have clearly never been or only went once under bad circumstances.

First and only strip club I have been to was in Blackpool for my brother's birthday. I found it awful. The girl taking her clothes off was gorgeous but having a bunch of other guys around (all of them a lot drunker than I) all baying and whooping made it so embarrassing I just couldn't wait for it to end. The club itself was sleazy but nowhere near as bad I thought it was going to be (my mind is stuck in the 80's and what strip bars looked like back then). Having a pretty woman gyrating and undressing for me is a damn fine way to spend one's time, but having to pay for the privilege and then having a mob of drunken wankers screaming in your ear just ruins the experience.

Went to Amsterdam when I was eighteen. I recall the whole red light district feeling sticky underfoot. My overactive imagination went to town

How do you know my performer name?

Never been to a strip club, but I did go to a biker rally in the middle of nowhere in the mountains once.

Ever seen two old ladies go at it on stage?

I have . . . I have . . .

oh god . . .

I went once when I turned 18 but I have never had any interest in going again. If you have a bunch of friends with you it won't be too bad, just consider it a slightly more awkward bar where the drinks cost 10 dollars.

The waitresses are always hotter than the strippers.

Or just don't go.

@mideonnviscera said:

Ah, but the best ones are where the waitresses *are* strippers...

That actually happened at the last one I went to. We generally stood in a safe group at the bar, then turned around to see the woman who'd just served us drinks naked spinning around upside-down on a pole. So that was weird.

The first time I ever went to one was in Winnipeg, and I happened to be in town during the week. So we went on a Wednesday or something. My friend bought me a lap dance from a near 50 year old in leopard print. She let me feel her tits (oh yay) and they were fake so that was an experience at least. The last thing I remember is watching the stage as an older woman and an 18 year old simulated a "lesbian show". It was awkward for them, and for me haha

I haven't been to one since I lived in Ft. Mac, but we frequented Showgirls there quite often. More for the drinks than the women. That place was funny because something in my laundry detergent made it look like I came all over my pants under the black light.

Strip clubs are fun. They're just not very sexy haha

Don't do the dollar bill thing. That is not always acceptable apparently, dam movies.

She might freak out and say "NO TOUCHING" causing you to drop your drink when startled and then walk out after loudly announcing to her that she is the worst stripper ever.

dude that's messed up

Take your 3DS, dude.

Girls love Animal Crossing, so its a good opportunity to trade some fruit.

My strip club advice,

Get a couple of drinks in you with some good friends at a nice, classy bar....

...then find the dirtest, dankest, most run down strip club in your town and watch the sadness flow like a waterfall over everything, knowing that you are just a viewer of this world, and you may leave anytime you like.

I would pay good money just to see some dude trying to streetpass people at a Strip Club.

It's fine, but I just don't see the point, honestly.

If you're in a relationship, its just a hollow representation of what you're already getting. If you're single, you're just getting bad softcore and you'd be better off going out and picking up or sitting at home and rubbing one out to good porn.

With friends it can be a bit of a laugh, but only in the same, slightly uncomfortable way as being at a party and having someone chuck a porno on.

As I said, I just don't get the point.