She is on my ship, but I can't find a way to nail her. She got great ass! please help!

Okay, first find her on your ship, walk up to her, turn off all the lights in your house and then furiously masturbate while sobbing. Then look back at your life to see what you've become. 

Okay, first find her on your ship, walk up to her, turn off all the lights in your house and then furiously masturbate while sobbing. Then look back at your life to see what you've become. 

@Milkman said:

Okay, first find her on your ship, walk up to her, turn off all the lights in your house and then furiously masturbate while sobbing. Then look back at your life to see what you've become.

You need the $10 dlc first called BangBang.

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

I love these threads.

I think she came on to me at one point during an interview in my cabin but her whoreish journalist attire broke the deal. But if you really want to be all up in there pick the top option in every conversation...

...

...reapers eh?

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

Its the closest he will get to Jessica Chobot.....well untill mods for Mass effect 3 come out........actually that's his answer wait for the mods.

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

What?

I heard Diana Allers has a forest growing downstairs, don't bother.

Guys OMG, I searched up this Jessica Chobot I didn't Know she was real person in vdeo game WTF???

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

...Why would you want to?

I made the mistake of letting her on my ship, and now sometimes chills run down my spin when I feel the ghastly pig-faced creepy video game zombie version of Jessica Chobot staring at me with dull, unseeing eyes whenever I exit the elevator on that floor.

She picked the right floor to be on, though. I went there once to laugh at the spot where Jack had been but wasn't, because she wouldn't be anywhere ever again, then I left, never to return again, content to let Chobot Bot and Brooding Angry Nitwit rot in the cargo holds.

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

As Vinny would say "If she doesn't want me to masturbate to her Fake Nude Photo she shouldn't be dressed that way."

In all seriousness you have to talk to her after every mission. In the second act she becomes more of a focus and then you can romance her.

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

GHB and a glass of Turian wine?

@Milkman said:

Okay, first find her on your ship, walk up to her, turn off all the lights in your house and then furiously masturbate while sobbing. Then look back at your life to see what you've become.

I love you.

So not having played this game, is this the replacement for Kelly?

@NegativeCero said:

So not having played this game, is this the replacement for Kelly?

No, That would be Specialist Traynor. She is also romancable but she's only interested in women.

Keep choosing the top right dialogue option. 

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

@Akyho said:

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

I'm sure the garrys mod community will get her into the game and make a nude version anyway.

@CL60 said:

@Akyho said:

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

I'm sure the garrys mod community will get her into the game and make a nude version anyway.

AAAAAAAAND just like her (Hypothetical real) nude pics! She didnt want it done. yet people did it anyways. My original statement still stands.

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

I beg to differ with you. From this:

"Diana Allers is a possible romance option for both male and female Shephard"

Anyway, OP, you, um, "nail" her the same way that you do everyone else (literally in this one). You talk to her after every mission. Have you even played the first two Mass Effect games?

Every one of these threads makes me lose more and more hope.

Cracker of a thread title.

@Akyho said:

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

It's kind of scary that people like you are walking around in the world. Can you not see the difference between a videogame and real life? Do you think sex scenes in movies are real as well?

It's a videogame and she's the voice of a character. You don't ask Jessica Chobot onto your ship you ask Diana Allers. She isn't a pornstar? What does that have to do with anything? Anyone who is going to come up to her and scream "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!" is a mentally unstable freak and would probably be arrested on the spot. Regular people don't act that way and unlike you can put a disconnect between videogames and reality.

And just so you know if you're nice to Diana Allers she's one of the romance options. Following your logic Jessica Chobot is now a pornstar.

Yeah... I'm shocked that this is still a thing?

It's the same flowchart since ME1. Pick the Positive option.

@Hunkulese said:

@Akyho said:

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

It's kind of scary that people like you are walking around in the world. Can you not see the difference between a videogame and real life? Do you think sex scenes in movies are real as well?

It's a videogame and she's the voice of a character. You don't ask Jessica Chobot onto your ship you ask Diana Allers. She isn't a pornstar? What does that have to do with anything? Anyone who is going to come up to her and scream "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!" is a mentally unstable freak and would probably be arrested on the spot. Regular people don't act that way and unlike you can put a disconnect between videogames and reality.

And just so you know if you're nice to Diana Allers she's one of the romance options. Following your logic Jessica Chobot is now a pornstar.

I agree with you and everyone else.

@ucankurbaga said:

She is on my ship, but I can't find a way to nail her. She got great ass! please help!

I think I would hate you if we ever met off-line.

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

@Deusoma said:

@Akyho said:

@Hunkulese said:

@MariachiMacabre said:

@James_Giant_Peach said:

@Akyho said:

Finde nude pictures of Jessica Chobot? Cos if there are real nude pics of her, she didnt consent to them being on the net. And she wouldn't have consented to being fucked in a computer game.

> How do I bang a girl?

>Find nude pictures of her

Umm... someone has a few things to learn.

And that someone is you. Next time read the rest of the post.

His post is nonsensical. If you follow his logic you can't romance a character in a videogame because her voice actor has never put nude photos of herself on the internet.

No the logic is. Do you think Jessica Chobot would want people to come up to her and go "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!". Do you know who Jessica Chobot is? She is the presenter for most things on IGN and has her "Likeness" put into Mass effect along with HER doing HER character with HER likeness. She isnt a pornstar. So he isnt going to be happy with people going "I FUCKED JESSICA CHOBOT! HERE IS A HOT STEAMY VIDEO OF JESSICA CHOBOT GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!!" You know people would send that to her parents.

She does not want that.

You do realize that it's actually possible to romance characters in this series, right? Ashley Williams is voiced by Kimberly Brooks, and she was one of only two potential love interests for male Shepards in the first game. Do you really think half the people who played a male character went up to her and went "I FUCKED YOU IN MASS EFFECT!!!"? She's not a pornstar either, and the fact that she played a character who could sleep with another character doesn't make her one. Hell, forget voice actors. Miranda Lawson from ME2 was voiced and physically modelled after Yvonne Strahovski. Yet a quick look through YouTube reveals no videos talking about YVONNE STRAHOVSKI GETTING FUCKED IN MASS EFFECT!! You seemed to be dismissing the OP as a fanboy who just wanted to fuck Jessica Chobot, as if that's the only possible reason someone would want to pursue Diana Allers as a romantic interest in Mass Effect 3. There's no logic there at all, it's like you've never even heard of acting.

You're giving the OP a TON of credit. Did you forget how he said "nail" as a way to say 'have sex with'? Or that Diana has a ''nice ass''? You might have a point, I don't know. But don't give the OP any credit at all for anything in this thread. For the love of God and all that is holy, don't give him credit.

@ucankurbaga said:

Guys OMG, I searched up this Jessica Chobot I didn't Know she was real person in vdeo game WTF???

Strange, I thought it was obvious since her voice acting is absolutely atrocious compared to everyone else in the game. I immediately knew she had to be someone famous but she couldn't have been an actress because her voice acting is trash and judging by how she looks I knew she sure as hell wasn't a model. Being someone a gaming site would hire so nerds can oogle over her seemed about right.

Unless you're being sarcastic, in that case, I fell for it.

I personally don't find her voice acting that bad, but her facial expressions don't really match up with how she's heard. Anyone know if they model the character off the voice, or the other way around?

At OP, you sound 14. Just stick to the internet, it's actually, somehow, *less* creepy than this thread.

...Why would you want to?

I made the mistake of letting her on my ship, and now sometimes chills run down my spin when I feel the ghastly pig-faced creepy video game zombie version of Jessica Chobot staring at me with dull, unseeing eyes whenever I exit the elevator on that floor.

Well first you are going to need a hammer and some nails

All respect to Jessica Chobot in real-life (for being actually pretty hot) and Mass Effect's 3D modeling team (for all those great Turian, Quarian, Krogan models), but I only have one thing to say about the virtual Jessica Chobot:

"Eeeeesh."

Nail he to the wall of the ship, right?  I can't stand Jessica Chobot and this character is even worse.

Guys, ok so far my conversations with her seems somewhat shorter then other characters, I am renegade maybe thats why. But I try to be nice to her, still she don't talk much.

I'm calling it now, this thread ends in the OP's eventual arrest.