Every Nintendo Classic Mini Game RANKED
By sheer luck, I happened upon a Nintendo Classic Mini and bought it. Remember that thing? I own one now, at a reasonable price. What I was most surprised about is that my unit was never used. Everything, from the foil inside to the twist ties, was still intact. Y'all really wrote bot scripts to corner a market, just to dump it a few years later. I have a lot of thoughts about that.
Anyway, I went through every game and played them for a while, so I thought it would be a fun exercise to rank every one into the purest, most objective list I can muster. Some games I played for ten minutes, mostly because I already owned them, played them and, in some cases, beat them. A few have already taken an hour or more from me, whether they're compelling or that's just their pace and you need to invest time to get anywhere. Time spent isn't necessarily an indication of its merit. That said, a lot of these are separated by a hair.
This list will be inverted, meaning 1 will be the lowest point and 30 will be the cream of the crop, the top dog, the royal cheese.
I tried to give descriptions for my reasoning, but the Giant Bomb editor really doesn't fuck with phones. I lost a lot of hours of writing, so just imagine that I have valid reasons. Maybe I'll add them in post later. [UPDATE: 7 hours later, we did it, baby :)]