You want to know how bad this game is? It's basically the Star Fox Adventures of Donkey Kong. That's why they suddenly have weapons and tools, and Cranky's a scientist, Funky's a military vet, and Candy's a... musician? It's why this game has all these weird, overly ambitious design choices and pee-in-my-mouth hippos. The original DK64 was going to be a 2D side-scroller, but they scrapped it late in development because someone thought a 3D collect-a-thon would sell better. It's the game that bankrupted Rare and made all of the staff resign from the company in disgrace.
"Why?" a lot of things, but specifically why DK64? It didn't age well, and now you're stuck playing it—probably forever. Yeah, the intro was fun, but you can only do that once. I would say call an audible on this one, but you already went through the trouble of getting all those DK props and set pieces.
Also, I now have an opinion about whether or not the original DK Rap is worse than the remix (It is.), and no human being deserves that.
Alex is straight up cosplaying one of the best crime crew members in video games.
Also, really great editing throughout this series. Comedic timing and even all the minor stuff (like Dan tripping and falling in this episode) has been worth it.
Oh, man. I was waiting to see how Abby would respond to the sewers and it was definitely worth it. Have fun on the island!
Also, as long as you're okay with the jarring inversion of cinematic and Special FX quality, the Machete Order (4, 5, 2, 3, 6) is arguably the best way to introduce Star Wars. I would even argue replacing Attack of the Clones with Tartakovsky's Clone Wars series/movie. Clone Wars does a better job establishing the friendship between Anakin and Obi-Wan and makes Revenge of the Sith more tragic. And watching 3 before 6 provides much-needed context around what the title "Return of the Jedi" is referring to.
If your kid asks, just say everyone got old and couldn't fight as well in the later movies. You can introduce him to samurai films later.
It really is pronounced "Eh-pona" with a short E sound. They've done vocalized versions of the song and everything. Don't be that guy, though. It's okay to say "Rye-You."
Come on. Spelunky is a hard enough game on its own. And all that dicking around was preventing everyone from being able to (re)learn the game.
We get it. Dan's supposed to be a heel, but he still doesn't know how to do it properly. Sure, heels do things like break the rules, but there's a difference between breaking rules and breaking norms. Since you literally can't break the rules of a video game, what you end up doing is breaking norms. And that doesn't make you a heel, that (once again) makes you an ass. You're not generating any "heat", just disappointment.
The other part is the timing. The best heels aren't constantly being asses 100% of the time, or their story never progresses. That's like betraying your tag team partner every match. You wait for something like the Title Match and then do your turn. So, Dan should have been helpful and cooperative all the way to Olmec and then just before beating the game knocked somebody in the lava to get all the glory and the treasure. Barring that, you could at least wait until everyone got good enough to counter the dickish behavior. The learning curve for being a dick is a lot flatter than the learning curve for stopping one.
If you don't have the patience for comedic timing, you don't have to force it. Naturally funny things happen often enough, anyway.
Seriously, Dan was acting like someone else's problem child that you have to temporarily play with because their parents need to go drink.
Good thing they had WarioWare and Tee K.O. to wash that bad taste out.
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