I remember back when I was younger, how psyched I was to get home from school because maybe, just maybe I had gotten Caesar 3 in the mail. I remember getting it three days later, being just as psyched that day as the days before. Then not being able to play it for three days because I had to live with my Grandparents for the weekend. I remember that as it was yesterday. I should be able to say that, but I cannot.
 
If you thought this would be a blog about Caesar 3 you are mistaken. This is a blog about life. And how weird it is. 
I am not old seeing how I am only 23. But sometimes I feel that my life so far have been... wasted. Or rather, lost. That I am just living for the moments now and those who are to come. My memory is the reason for this feeling. I forget things way faster than what I think is normal. Sure, I can remember a crapload of stuff from games, where to go to meet Jesus in Fallout 2 for instance, but my life I forget. Things that have happened, things I have done, things I say. I vaguely remember that story about Caesar 3 up there, but it feels like a movie I saw ages ago. Not a part of my life. My life is gone. Forgotten. 
 
The thing is, I cannot remember if I was always like this. If I have been forgetting my life all my life. It might have happened when I fell and broke my back. I did hit my head that time, maybe that also jarred my memory. Worsened it. Or maybe I just forget things faster than normal people. And I find that to be sad. 
 
I cannot remember my first day at school. I cannot remember what I was as a person back then. I cannot remember my first game, not vividly. I think it was Doom. Might have been Super Mario Bros. And a year from now I won't remember this.  
 
What brought me to think about this was Blade Runner. Yes, I didn't see this movie until recently. A few days ago actually, but I honestly cannot remember the exact day... Batty's last words really got to me when I realized all my moments are already gone. No-one can remember these moments for me, and I have lost them forever. I haven't done anything special with my life, but still... it is my life. It is special for me. 
 
Maybe I am lucky. Maybe this is my secret to being happy. 'cause I usually am. I enjoy this ride that is life, I just wish I could remember the past turns. And my past experiences, lost as they may be, have still shaped me to be who I am. I know I have changed drastically the past five years, so it's not like it has all gone to waste. But still... 
 
" I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will  be lost in time... like tears in the rain... Time to die. " 
 
I toyed with the idea of cross-posting this on the forums or whatever you call it, even though it has little to do with gaming. Then I thought, "why not? If people ridicule me for doing such a thing, I'll forget about it pretty fast" 
So I have, and I did so solely to see if someone can relate. If someone has thoughts and opinions on this. Or if someone really wants me to write a blog about Caesar 3.

" Memories that are worth remembering are remembered. You're not the only one who can't recollect a lot of things from their life, though I am only 15 going on 16. You shouldn't worry too much about it.   Though if you are depressed about not being able to remember things you do then there's little point dwelling on the past and what you do with your time in the present. Hell, some old memories might come back to you. "

There is a thing called  early onset alzheimer's

" There is a thing called  early onset alzheimer's "