While on this whirlwind tour of ours, I figured it was prudent to check in with our favorite Mega Man clones on the TurboGrafx, the Schbibinmen. Well, Schbibinman and Schbibinwoman. During last year's Octurbo, I looked at the one Kaizou Choujin Schbibinman game that ever got an English localization -- that would be the second one, renamed Shockman in the US -- and it just so happens that the third game, Kaizou Choujin Schbibinman 3: Ikai no Princess, came out on the PC Engine CD-ROM2 and falls within the purview of this feature. This series shares a lot in common with other transforming superhero games (like Valis), though also does not take itself particularly seriously. It's more marching along a linear path hitting things, essentially, but with a few twists and turns along the way.
I'll just quickly lay out the premise: Tasuke and Kyapiko (the dark-haired hero and blonde heroine, respectively, who are named Arnold and Sonya in the Shockman localization) are high school kids who also happen to be androids designed by a professor named Doc. When the situation calls for it, they are able to transform into Schbibinman: Armored heroes capable of taking down entire armies of other robots. The situation seems to call for it a lot.
I Think I Know Precisely What I Mean, When I Say it's a Schbibinman Day!
All right, this is not what I remember this series being like. This is some Dark Crystal shit.Ah, this would be the eponymous (almost said titular) "Ikai no Princess", or princess from another world. And this would be the another world she's in. Where's Mike Aruba?This very JRPG-y corridor scrolls down to reveal...A giant black crystal. Y'all thought I was just whistlin' dixie with that Dark Crystal reference, didn't ya?Welcome to Kaizou Choujin Schbibinman 3! I guess we'll check in on purple crystal lady later.The goofy intro explains that Doc here ain't exactly Dr. Light, accidentally shocking his two (hopefully not anatomically correct) androids while in their... I dunno, rest tubes.And then they chase him through the streets, what fun. Gonna get a cool can of Oni after this.After the events of the second game Tasuke and Kyapiko are maxing and relaxing on the beach.Helps that they tied up Doc, so he can't summon them for anything.But then we're suddenly watching this crazy alien ship travelling through hyperspace.It's the lady from the intro again. She and her companions are travelling to Earth, but apparently didn't account for our gravity. Or atmosphere. I dunno, we're a weird planet.I just thought this screencap was cool. The ship is oddly biological, like the one from Farscape.The sudden appearance of the spaceship in the sky is somewhat conspicuous, and so our heroes decide to curtail their vacation to go see what its deal is. Man, if it's not one thing it's something else.As with the previous game, the player can choose between the two heroes. I'm not sure there's any meaningful difference.Throwing ourselves into the fray, what's immediately apparent is that this game ain't fucking around. Enemies fly in from every direction fairly frequently. I have a lot of health, fortunately, and it doesn't seem like health refill items are all that rare either.In fact, here's one of them now. The enemies drop two types of items in this game: the reddish health refill items that look like cans of Pepsi, and the greyish canisters that you can see in the corner of most of these screenshots. The purpose of those is to give the player extra continues if they collect 100 of them. So for as relentless as the game's enemies can get, there's plenty of safety nets.The first mid-boss, this knight guy seems peeved that no-one thought to build him any legs. His tactics basically rely on poking you in the head with his sword. It's not the toughest boss, though a frontal assault is out of the question with that shield.Eventually, you see the spaceship you're after flying overhead. I think the scale might be a little off, though.Next mid-boss is this sprinting robot with a giant missile launcher on its back. It's pathetically slow though.After taking enough damage, its head falls off. Hmm...Haaaa heck yeah! Eat it!Eventually, the spaceship scoops us up and we're in what greatly resembles the Wing Fortress Zone from Sonic 2.Elevators and everything. This ship seems a hell of a lot bigger on the inside. Hey, what are the bets that there'll be an elevator sequence where I have to fight a bunch of dudes as it moves?You'd think they'd make windows on a spaceship sturdier than this.This is a mean trick. The blocks on the bottom are entirely harmless, and take several swings to destroy. However, by doing so, you're bringing down the flamethrower guns on top of them down to your level. You can't get past them until they're all gone, either.Called it. Man, does my sword have to sparkle every time?These are weird. They're just floating blue lights that swarm you in patterns, but you can also blow them up.They even attack you on the elevators.Well, this seems like a boss door if ever there was one.Yep, this is another mid-boss. This is starting to feel like a Treasure game for the Genesis. Anyway, he does the whole death blossom thing with his missiles, but they're easy enough to avoid if you stay out of that targeting reticle. My sword was somewhat less easy to avoid, from his perspective.Ah, robotic lava fish. And what purpose do these serve on a spaceship, exactly?Talking of mysterious spaceship functionality, what does this big crystal do? Maybe it's powering the whole ship? It seems super valuable.Well then, might as well smash it up.I'm dropped out of a hatch after everything starts smoking. Hey, that's a nice sunset!One of the purple dudes from the intro doesn't seem too happy that I broke everything. In my defense, a lot of it was in my way and I can't jump too high.This guy's a martial artist, but not a particularly good one. He'll jump over you, land, and throw a punch. You have ample opportunities to hit him before he can retaliate.He's also secretly an android, which would be a big deal were I not one also.A better one, turns out.Making our escape on this hoverboard thing. It's not one of those cases where you move with the platform, though.Rather, you have to keep switching them as these flying turrets surround you. It's not as bad as it looks, and you don't die if you fall off.You eventually make your way to this tiny tiny spaceship.But it's immediately eaten by flying gremlins (what?) and you're turfed off unceremoniously.And dropped onto this snowy plain. I guess we made it all the way to the mountains?What?Oh what even is this? This really is a Treasure game.The giant snowman doesn't make much of an effort to swat you, though the hitboxes are a little off. It also explodes, which makes me wonder what's in this snow.And then suddenly there's another sub-boss. This one just flies around and is a bugger to hit.I really can't take much more of this snow business.As evinced by my rapidly diminishing health bar. Well, I think we've shown off enough. I believe I managed to pass 50 screenshots today.
There's something simple and fun to Schbibinman 3, back when you could simply refer to a game's genre as "Action" and have it apply better than any other label. I mean, it's not a brawler or a platformer, but kind of all of the above. The Treasure comparison seems particularly apt as well, as this game more closely resembles a non-shooter version of Gunstar Heroes or Alien Soldier than anything else. It's also wildly disjointed, moving from one unusual scenario to the next without so much as a transitional cutscene.
I've heard tell that this sequel isn't as good as its immediate predecessor (Shockman, as discussed) nor its eventual Satellaview follow-up Kaizou Choujin Schbibinman Zero. Even as the unpopular middle child of the franchise, though, it's certainly not terrible, and it has some impressive production values (music and cutscenes, as well as its graphics in general) for a game made in 1992.
