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MooseyMcMan

It's me, Moosey! They/them pronouns for anyone wondering.

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The things I want in Grand Theft Auto Five.

Remember the GTAV trailer? That was pretty cool. I kept meaning to write up something about that game, and what I hope it is and isn't, but I haven't had a chance to. Until...NOW!

Things I want:

One protagonist. There are a lot of rumors about this game having multiple protagonists. Because that is always a good thing. Remember how everyone loved it in MGS2? Or Halo 2? I fully admit that multiple protagonists can work, and can work really well. Yakuza 4 did it exceptionally. But, each protagonist has to be a really good character for it to work. Yakuza 4 did, but not all games do. But, if there are multiple protagonist, I want them to at least tell us about it upfront. There are two specific games that I can think of where at the end of the game it forces you to play as someone else, and I HATED IT in both. After spending so many hours getting to know and like the main dude in each game, and then for the last couple hours you have to play as some other a-hole. And I don't really want to say what the games are for sake of spoiling them. Oh well. But RockStar, please, one awesome character is better than two or three okay ones. Or if you want other guys, do it like GTA IV and have them be the stars of the DLC. That worked really well, and they were their own, separate things, rather than forcing people to switch characters mid-game.

Have the older dude in the trailer be the dude you play as. Would it surprise you if the dude who narrates the video isn't the dude you play as? Wouldn't surprise me. But half of the reason why I am interested in playing this game is because the idea of playing as a middle aged upper middle class guy with kids. That's way more interesting than playing as some loner thug, like the other games (or at in GTA IV, which is the only one I played). Switch it up a little.

Keep it serious. I hate how so many people complain about how serious GTA IV was. It didn't even seem all that serious to me. Yeah, it got pretty serious toward the end, but there was a lot of goofy stuff with Brucie and Roman early on. But I just don't want GTA V to be all about jet packs and nonsense like that. I want it grounded in reality. If I want something dumb, I'll play Saints Row the Third (and I don't plan on playing that game).

Remember the lessons learned in RDR and LA Noire. Remember playing GTA IV? How if you died, you'd respawn at a hospital, have to drive back to your mission starter location, then drive to the actual mission. Also, any ammo and other things used during the mission are gone. That was real fun. Also, no regenerating health. You know what RDR and LA Noire had? Regenerating health and checkpoints. Those things are pretty cool. PUT THEM IN GTA V. Also, tighten up the aiming. It was pretty good in RDR, but not so great in LA Noire. Also, please, for the love of Tesla, let us aim on PS3 with L1 and shoot with R1. It was patched into RDR, but man, I really don't like using R2 and L2 to aim and shoot. I mean, it's not like it's impossible to have the accelerator and brake be R2 and L2 and have the aiming stuff be L1 and R1. Or give people the choice. I dunno.

GET RID OF THE GODDAMN RUN BUTTON. This has been a sticking point for me for years. I hate run buttons. Let me say that again. RUN BUTTONS ARE THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO VIDEO GAMES (not counting the terrible/lack of instruction manuals in recent years). Seriously. The reason why analog sticks were put onto controllers was to let people have control over movement speed in games. Super Mario 64 had great analog control in 1996. GTA IV came out in 2008. And you had to hold a face button to run. And if you wanted to run faster than that, you had to tap the damn button. HOW IS THAT FUN? How does that improve the experience?

I'll tell you. It doesn't. The worst part is that if you play online, that isn't there. The dude just runs! They acknowledge that the run button stuff is bad. And I hate it. Now, RDR let John move in a little trot if you had a weapon drawn, which made the situation better, at least in combat (because he would just put his gun away if he wasn't). And LA Noire had the run button be a shoulder button, so that was less bad (though, the nature of that game lent itself to moving slowly because most of it was walking around crime scenes, so I didn't mind that as much). But if I'm walking around an open city in a GTA game, I don't want to be walking, I want to be running. Sure, have it go to walk if the dude is in an apartment or something. Just do something better than making me hold a face button to move faster. Even make it a tap to switch between run modes or something.

And finally, the most important thing I want in GTA V:

A good instruction manual and a map. I love RockStar. Why? Because while other publishers are doing things like putting in crappy/short manuals that are in black and white (or none at all), RockStar not only puts in a full color (and lengthy) manual, they usually also put in a map. GTA IV had a map, RDR had a map, even the disc versions of the DLC for those games came with maps. LA Noire didn't have a map, which worries me a little, but I'm confident that GTA V will. It better anyway. Otherwise I will be disgruntled.

I think I also covered the stuff I don't want in there too. Well, I don't want the ending to suck, and I think the endings to LA Noire and RDR sucked, but I liked GTA V's ending (well, kinda, that sucked a little too know that I think about it (or at least it did until The Ballad of Gay Tony had some closure (by which I mean those diamonds))). If you played RDR and/or LA Noire, then you probably know what I did not like about their respective endings. Please, RockStar, and whoever is deciding these things, don't give GTA V a terrible ending. If I'm playing a game for story, I want a good ending. Not a crappy one like RDR where MAD SPOILER they kill off John and then make you play as a jabroni, or LA Noire where MAD SPOILER they make you play as some other a-hole and then kill off the likable guy.

Also, if those spoilers aren't properly whited out, please tell me. The whiting out spoilers thing is kinda buggy. And I didn't feel like breaking up my paragraph structure by using the spoiler block.

Anyway, anyone else have thoughts on GTA V? Let me guess, I'm the only one who cares. No one else is going to buy this game. One sale. And it's me. That's totally going to happen.

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