One Sentence Summaries (mostly) of my Steam Library
Jul 26, 2018 No Man's Sky
A zen Buddhists light sci fi novel
Jul 17, 2018 Resident Evil 5
Is this racist? It feels racist.
Jul 12, 2018 Resident Evil 4
Aged better than expected but still too many midgets.
Jun 29, 2018 The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit
Am now triggered by the song “Death with Dignity”
Jun 27, 2018 Hunt: Showdown
Zombies in the bayou.
Jun 21, 2018 The Evil Within
What happens when you let the Japanese make a Saw video game.
May 7, 2018 For Honor
Ninjas and vikings and knights, oh my!
Mar 22, 2018 PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS
Remember when we said fortnite ripped this off?
Jan 31, 2018 Life is Strange: Before the Storm
Who knew you could cry and facepalm at the same time?
Jun 28, 2017 Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
I don't trust people who feel nothing for this game.
Jun 6, 2017 Black Desert Online
This game is how I explain what bad localization is to people.
May 3, 2017 Darksiders
If zelda and a Metallica album cover had a child.
Mar 11, 2017 Guns of Icarus Online
STEAMPUNK AIRSHIPS YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-.
Feb 22, 2017 S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Oooooh, so this is Euro jank.
Sep 9, 2016 Obduction
Myst for the modern era.
Jul 22, 2016 INSIDE
I feel things and most of them are nauseous.
Jul 3, 2016 7 Days to Die
My exes uncle worked on this.
Jun 25, 2016 Betrayer
I think, this was, cool?
Jun 25, 2016 The Witcher 2
I tried part 2.
Jun 15, 2016 The Witcher:
Jan 3, 2016 Undertale
*insert determination joke here*
Dec 3, 2015 Fallout 4
Fallout 3: 2
Nov 28, 2015 Emily is Away
Maybe it was just life experience but I was left a wreck after playing this.
Nov 26, 2015 11th Hour
My dad told me it was spook but all I see is spoop.
Nov 15, 2015 Spec Ops The Line
Oh hey look its heart of darkness, I mean apocalypse now, I mean-.
Jun 20, 2015 Grim Fandango Remastered
Steeped in noir atmosphere and SAXOPHONE.
Jun 20, 2015 Killing Floor 2 Gift/Guest Pass
Shoot the zambies and win the candies.
May 26, 2015 Warframe
You know the famous ninja mantra, “Hardcore parkour”.
May 19, 2015 Five Nights at Freddy's
Pretty sure chuck-E-cheese is still scarier.
Nov 9, 2014 A Bird Story
I was this kid and that should tell you enough.
Jun 28, 2014 Dishonored
More of this please.
Jun 24, 2014 Gone Home
Lesbian ghosts haunt a middle class household, I think.
May 7, 2014 Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II
Bioware at its bestish.
Apr 17, 2014 Riven
One of the great games ever made.
Mar 18, 2014 To The Moon Game
Do you like paper bunnies and heartbreak?
Mar 15, 2014 Metro: Last Light
Euro punk but with aliens continued.
Mar 11, 2014 Dark Souls II
The black sheep of the family.
Jan 22, 2014 Morrowind
Turns out it doesn't hold up.
Dec 25, 2013 PAYDAY 2
Steal money while wearing a clown mask.
Dec 20, 2013 Final Fantasy VII
Aerith dies at the end.
Dec 17, 2013 Bastion
Can I get that narrators voice bottled?
Dec 6, 2013 Bioshock Infinite
Oh, so NPC allies -can- be good.
Nov 6, 2013 Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures
He gonna take you back to the past.
Oct 28, 2013 The Stanley Parable
There are no real choices and all games are now an existential nightmare, have fun.
Oct 24, 2013 Batman: Arkham Origins Pre-Purchase
I REGRET THIS PURCHASE.
Sep 8, 2013 Outlast
Blair Witch ala F.E.A.R.
Sep 8, 2013 Amnesia: Machine for Pigs
Why yes we did remove the -game- from the game.
May 31, 2013 Alan Wake Bundle
It's either a brilliant love letter to writing and the act of creation or has its head up its ass.
Apr 2, 2013 Metro 2033
Euro punk but with aliens.
Apr 2, 2013 Sid Meier's Civilization V
Gandhi did it.
Feb 15, 2013 Torchlight II
Diablo but not.
Nov 8, 2012 Dark Souls
Cant do this in a sentence so PRAISE THE SUN.
Oct 29, 2012 Limbo
And so the big head, sad child, death trap genre began.
Oct 14, 2012 Borderlands 2
*sigh* is Borderlands 3 really not out yet?
Oct 9, 2012 Dead Island
Trailer left more of an impact on me then the game.
Aug 24, 2012 Just Cause 2
Jul 25, 2012 FEAR 3
Exactly not how to make a horror game.
Mar 15, 2012 Orcs Must Die!
And so they did.
Feb 22, 2012 Dear Esther
Plot twist, you were a pigeon the whole time.
Jan 15, 2012 Killing Floor
I killed no floors.
Nov 16, 2011 Amnesia: The Dark Descent
You will never look at standing water the same way again.
Nov 14, 2011 FEAR
The only good action horror game.
Aug 25, 2011 Borderlands
Far more rough edges than you remember.
Aug 17, 2011 Fallout: New Vegas
And those spurs did go jingle, jingle, jangle.
Aug 9, 2011 Terraria
Use your keyboard!
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